|Reviews for Is this really my life?|
| ombre chapter 4 . 3/11
I adore you your fiction chrno crusade and expect the next chapter eagerly
| xxxDreamingflowerxxx chapter 4 . 11/7/2013
I never understood those soaps either. Too much complication, I've only watched one Spanish soap when I was like 10/ 11 years old, because my mom watched it too and for some reason I became addicted too, but that was the only time.
And that's why I always watch my shows (anime) online. Much better than a tv that only airs crappy shows.
Josh I know you want to ship those two, but don't do it in a way that may end in you getting killed by your own sis.
I actually can imagine it very easily every time Joshua clings to Chrono in excitement, thank god he's not a fangirl. XD Thought Rosette can make fun of Josh's behavior like that :3
Airplaaaaneess! Very handy, hard to sleep in when it's cramped, but they give you time to clear your mind, since the only thing you can do there is relax. I wonder how Chrono will act when inside.
Pretty please update soon!
| xxxDreamingflowerxxx chapter 3 . 11/7/2013
Ohohohohoho! Chrono is still a flirt and I can't believe Rosette doesn't find those comments the slightest bit funny. If it were me I'd be rolling on the floor laughing.
Maybe he should read a book about how to flirt the right way with women. Cuz now he sounds like a poet who tries to convince everyone that poetry is cool, XD. It starts with a date, then with more dates, presents, some flattery and compliments, but not his way that sounds too exaggerating.
As for Joshua, don't tease your sis too much, before you know it she find an opportunity to pay you back and 10 times worse.
| xxxDreamingflowerxxx chapter 1 . 11/7/2013
I can't understand why I only reviewed chapter 2 well at least I can do it now.
Chrono made such an... awkward entrance and what a lousy pick up line, hasn't he got anything better than that, a girl can easy counter that with an insult. Well lesson learnt Rosette; never take strange unconscious man to your home, dump them at the hospital and that's it.
| xxxDreamingflowerxxx chapter 2 . 8/23/2012
XD Everyone would mistake Chrono for a cosplayer these days or just an otaku. Like Rosette I thought aliens would be an appropriate word, since they aren't from the same world as Rosette and Joshua, but i guwss they're still demons, but for a non believer like Rosette they're seen as aliens I guess.
| Dragoon-Yue chapter 4 . 3/30/2011
As always; the pacing is good, the dialogue is and the length is good! I hope that you update soon!
| Dragoon-Yue chapter 3 . 3/30/2011
First off, I just wanted to say that your story telling ability is really good (pacing, dialogue, length, all of it). The only thing that seems to be an issue (and it's really not that bad; I can actually ignore it while I'm reading) is, as stated in previous reviews, the grammar can be a bit off.
While I was reading this chapter it occurred to me that just telling you that doesn't actually help you any. So. If you don't mind (please don't take any offence to what I have to say!) I'm going to go over this chapter to show you what I meant and hopefully you will find it helpful to you. Also [my comments will be in these kind of brackets and some of them may be pretty concise]:
"You killed him! You'll pay dearly for that." Ground out the blue haired demon [Technically you need a period here because it's the end of a sentence.]
After all, he gave them the chance to escape with their lives [comma would be a good idea here] something any ["any one" is actually one word] one else probably wouldn't have done.
"Oh! I'm sorry [comma again] was he your lover?"
The other just growled in response and got back in his fighting stance. This was all the prompting Chrno needed. [The period being here does technically work as well, but a semicolon - ";" - might work a bit better] He was going to end this fight now.
Chrno heaved a sigh [you need a comma or a semicolon here] he wanted very much just to stay here for awhile and bask in the presence of his newly found angel but if he wanted to keep her alive they would have to make a run for it.
[Any time that you use the word "but" - obviously excluding when you're starting a sentence with it - you need a comma in front of the word that came before it.]
Chrno chuckled lightly. The two sibling's attempts to stay quiet were comical [comma] especially since with Chrno's demonic senses he could find them even if they were as silent as the grave.
"Relax [comma] it's me, Chrno, you can come out."
[In regards to commas: They are used for marginal pauses, or breaks, in a sentence, as I just demonstrated twice in this sentence.]
"Yes, I am what you humans call a devil." Replied Chrno simply [either a period or a semicolon is needed here] he was about to say something else when Joshua looked up at him with a look of excitement and awe.
"Rosette I finally get to meet one…[You need a space between the next word and the periods; also, you need to capitalize the "A".]a real devil…I can't believe it!" Joshua cried in excitement [A period needs to go here.]
Rosette just stared at him [comma] embarrassed that her brother was practically fawning over Chrno. [This next part is technically part of the last sentence] While Chrno was staring at the child like he had just grown a second head.
Back at the house,[no comma is needed here] Rosette was getting very impatient with their new guest. She had left the two guys alone for just a couple minutes so she could change out of Chrno's poncho.
She cursed her Aunt [technically this isn't a title and it's not a name, so you don't actually need to capitalize it] several times as she rifled through her chest of drawers for some pajamas that weren't so suggestive. With Chrno, [either a dash or a bracket would probably work a little better, though technically the use of the commas is correct] the perverted devil, in the house she wanted to make sure he didn't have any other reason to ogle her.
It seemed that, Joshua, being the ever helpful person he is [comma] had decided to give Chrno the grand tour.
Rosette [you need another "had" or an "'d" on the end of Rosette's name] had enough [to break the sentence up is needed here - like a dash, or the semicolon] it was time to break into this conversation; in true Rosette fashion.
Chrno was now kneeling on the ground holding his slightly pointed [comma] aching ears. Loud noises were always terrible for him [comma] especially since devils have really good hearing. However, if Rosette continued to scream like that he might not have his hearing for much longer.
"Oh really[question mark or a period belongs here]" [Capitalize the "S"]said Rosette with an evil smirk[and a period here]
"Aion is not a 'what' but a 'who' and as to what is going on…[Space and a capitalized "W"]well the short version is I'm being framed for an attempt on our queen."
[Okay, quick note: After a "..." and before you start another sentence - or continue the existing one - you need a space and a capital letter.]
"You have to come with me…" [Capital "S"]started Chrno
"We don't have time for this, [a period, not a comma, is needed] please, just go and get ready." Chrno said tiredly[period] he really could use some sleep [semicolon] all this running and fighting was starting to take its toll on him.
Well, I could go over the rest of this chapter, but I imagine that by now you might be getting a little annoyed with all my knit-picking. So I think I'll just leave it at that. Again the grammar is the only issue that I found with your writing - I love the rest!
P.S. I also love what you've done with Chrono's personality! XD
| Dragoon-Yue chapter 2 . 3/30/2011
Here's a fun fact of my own: In the manga the demons (believe it or not this has little to do with the actual plot) really ARE aliens. Go figure.
Again, ran into a few grammar issues, but you still got the pacing comfortable.
| Dragoon-Yue chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
Well, I like the idea of Aion not being the bad guy this time around. As for how the story is going... I'm finding it well paced, though there are a few hiccups in the grammar here and there. But other than that it's quite well written.
| White Rose Fox chapter 4 . 12/20/2010
I LOVE IT!
| JanieZ chapter 3 . 9/14/2010
Wonder how Chrono will find out about Rosette's power and how long it will take him to get Rosette to open up to him a little more...
Please update again soon
| White Rose Fox chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
| saturday.conspiracy chapter 2 . 4/18/2010
Ok, another cool chapter. I like Chrno's personality because it's almost similar to his original one, but a little different too.
The only thing I would suggest is that you "show don't tell." For example, when Joshua made that comment about Rosette's powers being dangerous, the glare she gave him would have hinted about how sensitive she was about them.
That probably sounds kind of confusing, sorry. Let your characters' actions speak for themselves, is more or less what I'm trying to say. If this review didn't make sense, just PM me and I'll try to explain it more clearly.
Other than that, good job!
| saturday.conspiracy chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
For starters,that was an interesting cliffhanger. Overall, the story looks to be promising and I like the twist of Satella adopting Rosette and Joshua. I look forward to see where this goes.
| Whispering Lotus chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
lol XD that last line was great XD I already like the story. Update as soon as you can ok? (_)