|Reviews for Family Pride|
| Ersatz Einstein chapter 1 . 3/8
There were some noticeable punctuation errors, though they didn't detract too much from the narration ("stunning of course in ivory silk," "as she looked at the picture, and put it away," "strictly brought up mother," etc.).
On a more positive note, the purely family-oriented description of characters whose darker sides the reader already knows served to humanize the whole group, adding an interesting note of complexity to "Cissy" and "Bella's" lives. The merely tangential mention of Lucius made clear that the focus of the story was fully on Andromeda, Narcissa, and Nymphadora. I particularly liked the little detail of Andromeda's preferred wedding, the "real" one with a "proper moving photo," suggesting that in spite of her different love and politics, Andromeda is still completely a product of the isolated Wizarding world.
| ShadedRogue chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
Short, sweet, and brilliant. I really liked the characterization of Andromeda and I like the contrasting descriptions you give us of Andromeda's sisters and of the family that she has now. I also thought the contrast between her muggle wedding and her "real" wizard wedding was interesting. It kind of seems like she feels like it was more real than her muggle wedding because it was part of the world that she belongs to, and the one that she grew up in - and maybe it alludes to the fact that despite all she's given up for marrying Ted and everything she's gained because of it, she still misses her sisters.
I only wish that there was some more explanation on why Narcissa actually sent her the Christmas card rather than it just being because she wanted to show off. Perhaps some kind of deeper meaning could have been explored here. All in all, it was a very lovely piece.
| Madam'zelleGiry chapter 1 . 2/6/2012
I really like what you've done here. It's so hard to find a good story with Andromeda and her sisters. I think that you have definately hit the mark here. You have some really nice characterization going on here and it just makes this a joy to read.
My only complaint is that it was much too short and I say that because I enjoyed it. Thanks so much for sharing and well done!
| Rosawyn chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
I really enjoyed this. :) It felt quit sad throughout most of it, but the end was all warm and nice and made me smile. It's a nice contrast to the quite literal cold in the middle of the story. The ending is very much the best part of the story; I love powerful endings like this.
| Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
This was a really insightful snapshot into Andromeda's family life, the contrast between her nuclear family with Ted and Dora and the Black side that she fell out of touch with. I thought the narrative dragged a little in places-there were a couple spots (hashing over the details of how long it had been since she'd last spoken to Cissy and the like) where you were reiterating information I was already well familiar with-but on the whole, your descriptions were great (the dresses at Bella's wedding, the formal tone of Cissy's card, etc.), and I thought this was a very nice read.
| Emily Mae chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
Lovely! You address your prompts very expertly here. I often find that when writers are given multiple prompts for a challenge like this, the end result can be somewhat contrived, but this certainly wasn't an issue here. I like the nostalgic tone of this and the way it starts off with Andromeda reminiscing about her past and feeling sort of hurt that her sisters are no longer in her life, but then ends on a very cheerful, warm note as Andromeda realizes her real family is around her. Very nicely done!
| Susan M. M chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
Your last line sounds like something Andromeda is trying to convince herself, not something she truly believes.
| Whiitewolf chapter 1 . 1/29/2012
This piece was very moving and short but to the point.
It was sweet and I loved seeing character development from an underappreciated character.
I think this was brilliant and very well done. You have great talent as a writer and I hope you continue to write! D
| Ventisquear chapter 1 . 1/29/2012
Short but sweet and poignant. The difference between the weddings was very well done, and I really liked little Nymphadora.
A bit of concrit, though - while the difference between Bella, Cissy and Andromeda was done really well and it is clear why she didn't miss them on their wedding, it's not explained why Ted didn't miss his family. Sure, they had different ceremony, but... Andromeda sounds bit snobbish there, as if she didn't like Ted parents because they were Muggles.
I think it needs a bit more explanation,and the the story will be perfect. :)
| my insides are blue chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
Wow, this piece was really moving.
Andromeda was always just a character I could sympathize with when it came to her family. And here you just showed us how satisfied she is with her real family: with Ted and Dora. That was what moved me. There as also a lot of character development on Andromeda's side, considering she was only a minor character in the books. And the way you wrote it was really nice. I loved it!
| Desktop Warrior chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
This is a sweet little piece, and very well-written. Though short and concise, it still reveals much about Andromeda's character while highlighting the contrast between the family she had growing up and the one she has now.
Despite Andromeda's assertion that she "had all the family she needed right here," I'd say she still feels nostalgic about her highborn wizarding past. Clearly, the environment she grew up in wasn't nearly as warm as the family she has now, but it's also an inescapable part of who she is. She appears to be sad with the aloof, impersonal tone in the card Narcissa sent her; sad, but also happy that her sister at least showed her this small acknowledgement. Then, she even calls her magical wedding her "real" one, stating directly that it held far more significance to her than the Muggle ceremony. The latter, represented by a still, lifeless picture, was a formality, one performed to adhere to another set of societal standards. Unlike the formality of the wizarding world, which Andromeda was used to, the formalities of Muggles are clearly something foreign and uncomfortable to her. It is with reluctance that she hides these reminders of her wizarding past from her husband.
I also found it interesting that young Tonks is playing with a spade in the snow, like so many Muggle children do. Considering how Tonks becomes so adept at using magic later on, her childhood years make for an interesting contrast.
The only part I can critique is the last little bit. I feel like more could have been said to transition from Andromeda's reflections of her past to her contentment with the life she leads now. The change comes across a little suddenly, is all. But that's not a big issue.
| ToManyLetters chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
I liked this piece; it was a good contrast to show that in reality, whilst Andromeda's childhood family had been a broken mess, the family she created on her own stood firm.
The last line is particularly wonderful.
That said, the story felt oddly short, as if it had not yet finished telling its tale. Maybe it's just me wanting more, as per usual. XD
| Inkfire chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
I really like the way you pictured the contrast between the three weddings. Both Bella's and Cissy's were described as very beautiful, and yet Andromeda had absolutely no place in them - that was showed quite cruelly, in the way Andromeda was forced to look like a person she was not in Bella's, and in the icy card Narcissa sent… It was quite interesting that the card was sent at all - it stressed the distance between them all the more, and yet showed that Narcissa hadn't forgotten her sister, in a way. Andromeda's own "true" wedding made sharp contrast with those in the sheer warmth you made it filled with, although she was also out of place in the Muggle ceremony… It really showed the way they created a family of their own then, just Ted, Andromeda and Nymphadora. Andromeda going through the Muggle ceremony for her husband's sake and protecting him by avoiding reminders of her former family were quite sweet moments… My favourite parts were the ones she spent with Nymphadora - the girl was so adorable, and that was where the love was the strongest as well. The title is very fitting to the meaning of this story… Well done!
| Esther Huffleclaw chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
A sweet, cute snapshot of a family's life. Andromeda is a fascinating character, and I like how you've written her here. Of course, she does miss her sisters, but she has "all the family she need[s] right here." Beautiful.
| TheWordFountain chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
What an adorable story! I mean, there are many loose ends that leave a wistful and sad tone to the whole piece - like the Muggle wedding ceremony and the card from Narcissa - but that is obviously what made the end of this piece so heartwarming.
I'll be honest, I was expecting something much darker, which worried me. The situation we found Andromeda in made me worry that there was going to be some type of row, or maybe something bad would happen. And I obviously didn't want Ted and Andromeda to fight over the past. Secondly, I did desperately wish that Narcissa and Andromeda would have some type of heart-to-heart, but I realize that's very far from canon and would compromise what you reached at the end of the piece.
Secondly, your characterizations were wonderful. Young Nymphadora was a great characterization - getting into trouble, ignoring the cold and her general health. It seemed very much like her. Mentioning that Ted looked uncomfortable in his muggle suit was also extremely important to me, if only because it gave a glimpse into how Ted grew up and just how influential the wizarding world was on him. And then, Andromeda. Too often I think of her as someone who had no trouble casting off her family to be happy with her new one, but you made me realize there was much more to the situation than that. That's the sign of a good writer.