|Reviews for A War Apart|
| Hexatona chapter 23 . 7/16
I loved it! I was drawn in by Christoph immediately, and the book didn't let me go for a moment! (Also, goddamit, I wanted him to be redeemed!) I love the ways you fleshed out the Wars World, and I was left thirsting for more.
I'm a big fan of Lash, so I wished she could have been a bigger part of the story, but that's not really a criticism, just my own personal wishes. Also, you totally caught me off guard right at the end there with Hawke. About halfway through their conversation I was like... waaaait a minute... and then - BLAM, I was right.
Anyway, I wanted to thank you for writing this, sooo... I made a thing in your honor. I know you're not really on here, you've probably moved on from this site and moved on with your life, so consider this a bit of a monument. I made you a TTS Audiobook of A War Apart.
I fixed (the amazingly few) spelling mistakes I could find, made the pronunciation of new words work better in-engine, Added pauses in dialogue, and for sections, and made dialogue spoken at a different pitch than narration so you could tell when people were talking! I hope you like it. I wanted to thank you for writing this in some way.
I can't post links here, sadly, but if you look up A War Apart, or ARandomAudiobookAppeared on youtube, you'll find it.
| Guest chapter 23 . 5/19/2015
When I started off reading this story, I wasn't expecting much. A good read, yes, but nothing exceptional. The first few chapters betrayed all my expectations, and from then on I had a hard time dragging myself from this to go to school or sleep. I loved how you focused on the tactical and military aspects and the realistic aspects of war, like Christoph turning into a monster (though he kind of already was at the beginning) yet didn't deviate from the characters nor the series too much as well as bringing in the strategic aspect as well. I was expecting more after Green Earth's defeat, but overall I was very satisfied with the ending, particularly the whole thing with Hawke. When he was first mentioned by Christoph (his thoughts), I was expecting him to show up in one way or another, but not how I expected him to. I hope the loyalists win the Yellow Comet Civil War if war becomes inevitable. Overall, 10/10. It's up there with the best fics I've read, maybe even the best due to the realistic aspects combined with military (since I am a historian). Good luck in the future!
| Narwhale chapter 23 . 7/3/2014
Mind you, I won't be able to express all my thoughts in this review, either because I forgot about some things or it might seem verbose, so please forgive me.
First off, GREAT-ASS story! This was a neat concept to a simple strategy game! This is a prime example of great fanfiction and a great way of using original characters in a fandom. Loved the interactions, the settings, and the tone, although some details and dialogue seemed to drag and could've been left out or other wised re-phrased to be shorter. Yes, some of the story was a bit hard to follow at times, but that could just be me.
I think you did flawlessly in the battle scenes. Holy Hell, you've captured my imagination when you wrote out the explosions, the fire fights, and the chaos. I was so enveloped by the actions, I swear I thought Michael Bay had somehow entered my mind and directed a movie in there!
Again, I love the characters you made. They were relatable, interesting, and all-round well liked; especially Christoph! Not sure if this was your aim, but after reading this entire story, I felt unsatisfied with his ending- left me empty, if you will. Here was this man you created, developing into a character with personality, trying to do what he thinks was right, and then BAM! he's gone, just like that. All the characters, original and canon, were very likable, but I took interest in him the most, but then he gets cut. It's a bit heartbreaking that you would do that to him, but I think that's what makes this story even more great. Nothing ever goes the way you want in life, and I guess that applies to this story, as well.
Well, I've got tons to say, but again, regard to my first statement. I'm glad I got the chance to read this, and I'm even more happy that you took the time to write and share this. Thanks for your hard work, mate!
| hughfj08 chapter 23 . 10/17/2011
have to say, after reading A War Apart, I am now allowed to comment on it.
Turthfully, I loved it.
Definitely the best work I have read online so far.
The writing style suited me perfectly and scuked me right into the story.
Was a fan of Cristoph's end as well, felt a little bad as I liked his character, but a mental breakdown was great.
Also liked slipping in Hawke at the end.
Didn't see that until Lash was mentioned in the closing section.
And yes, you are on author alert now.
Looking forward to reading your other work
| TapCharge chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
This story is brilliant. That is all.
| Cstan chapter 23 . 6/25/2011
This was one helluva story. You could feel with the characters you understood (even if you didn't agree) with their points of view, their thoughts and motivations.
What made it additionally so captivating was the reality: you didn't shy around the death and destruction caused by an all-out war. Civilians were dragged in and slaughtered, you didn't put on rose-colored glasses and I congratulate you on that.
I have to admit that it was only during the last part of the last chapter that I realized that Tanner was Hawke.
Good luck with future stories, fan-fiction and original.
| bureus chapter 23 . 3/4/2011
(Warning: shameless amounts of spoilers here)
I was in denial that Calciki was the climax up until the scene in the Green Earth HQ was resolved; I was secretly hoping that Green Earth would regroup or that the story would just shift focus to the Yellow Comet front. But then 2 chapters later it was over. Why? Why do all the good things come to an end so abruptly?
The reason I'm so distraught after the conclusion is because this story is a gem. I spend a (depressingly large) chunk of my free time on this site, sifting through all manner of stories, and this is definitely the best I've come across. The narrative style is consistent, dialogue and character interaction is realistic; the writing itself is spot on.
The way you've interpreted wars world itself deserves credit too.
I'll admit I was skeptical of Christoph in the very beginning. Most OC protagonists are usually just thrown in to shamelessly gratify the author's ego, by either being mary-sues or (at the very least) by flirting successfully with the hottest character. Christoph was just a regular guy who had his hometown blown up; and even though he did act a bit over-the-top in some instances (personally shooting that black hole guy in the beginning, trying to shoot that pilot in Loch Haven, and randomly running into the enemy HQ), he was still a good, believable character. I totally sympathized with him.
Congrats bro, you've done it. You've written a memorable fanfiction.
| Rodney Eve Yendor chapter 23 . 2/22/2011
oh yeah i was stupid and forgot about how the games were and max was os duh :P
| Rodney Eve Yendor chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
just so you know i love it oh and max is blue moon not Os
| AlphaOmega92 chapter 23 . 1/22/2011
A great story! After a long absence from reading after you took your semester abroad to China, I picked up this story again. I love the realism you've brought to War World, and the characterization of the game's characters. Your original characters are also top-notch, and I have a soft spot for tragic characters like Christolph. I expected his death, but I was betting (and maybe hoping) that it was Sami that put him down, after he shoots Eagle. But I like to shake up the worlds I write fanfictions for, as evidenced by my Fallout and Advance Wars works. You've inspired me to return to my own work, and I'll continue to follow yours in the future.
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 22 . 1/12/2011
Hello. And thank you.
Why, you ask? Because this story was a real gift.
I'll admit, I'm the first to think writing fanfictions is something for geeks, or at least I was. I'd get bored of people posting OMG SamiXEagle stories and other such things. But you proved to me that you don't have to be a guy who hentai's characters, pardon my french, to write fanfiction. And this is a great example of fanfiction outsiders would read and enjoy. In fact, you could be a license away from making this a real book. :)
I'd like to say you inspired me, because now I'm going to try my hand at fanfiction. Being a growing writer before this, I have a feeling that while not much of my work would be serious publishing material as my real-life based work would be, I will grow a lot from this and enjoy it just as much.
So yeah, this is both a review and a thank you. Your story is among the most epic I've read.
Best of Luck!
| presidentuziel chapter 23 . 12/30/2010
Absolutely loved this story, you did a very good job in making it seem 'real'. To be honest, I felt that this fic captured what I was hoping to get in DS, much more gritty and down to Earth. Good job.
| rinle chapter 19 . 12/27/2010
Christoph disturbs me greatly. O.o I mean, he's always been disturbing from the very start, but this is just a whole new level. (I get the strongest feeling that he's going to die before the end.)
Sami makes me feel so sad. Also, I liked that little scene with Max and Eagle.
Great chapter, as usual. XD
| DormantAnomaly chapter 19 . 12/25/2010
Just wanted to let you I'm still following your story :)
That firefight was very nicely done btw, it definitely brought a sense of havoc and intensity. Can't wait to find out how the battle at Calciki will end for both Christoph and Sami.
| Legomech chapter 18 . 12/8/2010
This story is so excellent that I signed up just to add a review. I sincerely hope you complete the tale, as it was a compelling read and one of the best fan fictions I've ever read. Thanks for sharing your work with us!