|Reviews for Surrender|
| IllicitWriter chapter 3 . 5/12/2010
Awesome chapter. Very poetic.
| Navarre chapter 3 . 5/12/2010
This chapter was like going through a hurricane - violent, frightening, tense...your writing...wow...just..wow!
| lilly9999 chapter 2 . 2/22/2010
I'd like to see where this is going. More please!
| IllicitWriter chapter 2 . 2/21/2010
PLEASE CONTINUE... this story is mesmorizing, brilliant and wonderfully written.
| raeb2008 chapter 2 . 2/18/2010
Your words never cease to amaze me. Wrenching that emotion right out of my gut. Almost like a skilled surgeon, you make the cut, taking, pulling, twisting and then stiching it up tightly. I'm emotionally exhausted, in the best way, cause of the closure. Brilliant once again. Rae
| ARFess96 chapter 2 . 2/9/2010
If you have the words you absolutly need to throw down I say bring them on. Otherwise these 2 chapters are badass enough to let them stand. I do not think I have ever read an author with more talent at imagery than you. You are absolutely superb!
| weisyloveslemons chapter 2 . 2/4/2010
Damn that was one hell of a chapter. Pure poetry. As much as I love this story and your writing I think it is perfect ending right there. Yea I'm sure I'm the only person to say that since we usually always ask for more. The last sentence was perfect. Of course I'll read more if you write it...
| slobber-monkey chapter 2 . 2/3/2010
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
I don't really know what else to say... I think of everything you've written that I've read, this just owns me COMPLETELY
The way you describe her pain and the void left by Edward is simply beautiful and devistating all at the same time.
* Doctor Goddamn Cullen.*- That simply line kinda says it all…
*It was amazing what force and strength the utter absence of a heart could generate.*- nothing more to add, that was simply perfect
* Even more like him. I never fucking slept. Because the traitor left me in my dreams as well as in real life.*- I don’t know weather to laugh or cry for her
* Like the fucking poison apple, so fleshy and glossy and pink and pretty on the outside, Snow White’s witchy queen motherfucking – I laughed at the feel of curses falling off my tongue with no Edward, timely timeless Edward, to take offense - stepmother had fed her fostered offspring. I hid the worms deep down inside, after a time. Boy did I ever!*- I’ve said it before, but I’m in awe of your eloquence
* I pounded and punched and fucking hated I’d never ever scar him, not by his flesh… maybe by his soul.*- Women always know how to hurt, even the unhurtable
* Edward gripped his cock and lined it up and down in his hand. My head met un-sanded wood and shavings shook into my hair, but I watched this untamed vampire stroking himself. Good god! He was beyond beautiful!*- I just like this part cuz I’m a perv and LOVE dick stroking!
| Kyrene once Blood Roses chapter 2 . 2/3/2010
I'm surprised. I usually don't like stories that go into Bella's thoughts for after Edward left. Especially a Bella where it's clear she got around...a lot. I did have a moment of "well, if she did get a disease...at least she can't give it to Edward", which is bad but there's where promiscuity automatically gets my thought process going. But for some reason it worked here. Maybe because it's you, and you write beautifully with your metaphors and your unlikely use of words for certain things...But I loved it.
Oh, my favorite line. When Bella said she deserved Edward. What a bittersweet thought. The fact that we know Edward's been so convinced that he was tainted and wrong and didn't deserve her, and now Bella thinking about her sexual conquests and then stating she deserved him...that was deep. I adored it.
P.S. Sorry taking me a bit, I'm going in order for updates...I have over 40 to catch up on.
| brandj chapter 2 . 2/2/2010
I love how you depict Bella in the forest after he left.
“Was there a cure for the lovelorn?” Yes…Icecream! ;0)
“What happened to happily ever after? Cinderella to cinders and coal dust. Jaded, jaundiced, jilted. Puke.” Beautiful!
“I was left in my shell. It was hard. It was, simply, fucking Hell. Eventually I danced among the pagans. A new me, Bella revisited, remade.” Love it. Bella revisited is perfect!
“Would I have died for him, a Capulet to his Montague? I would have. Now, not so much.” Heck no! Not after he left her like that! Good job!
“Limiting himself to my face and neck and hair.” Maybe he had a fetish!
“He knew he wasn’t my first, not by a fucking longshot. And I’d nearly laughed at the devastation eroding his face from eyes to mouth. He’d deserved it.” Here, here!
“Full fat kisses wet our mouths, “And now we live.” Or maybe, I would die, for him, for us.” Oh, perfect ending! LOVE IT!
Would like to see more, if you’re up to it! And yeah, that’s a challenge!
| twilightnaley19 chapter 2 . 2/2/2010
| susayq chapter 2 . 2/1/2010
You should know how I feel about this. I love that he came back for her. Even if she wasn't pure and innocent. She did what she had to to get past him leaving. I love it!
| robinsnest chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
I love the poetry of your words. Harsh and real, no longer a young adult story and yet so perfectly canon in it's otherness. I'll keep reading if you decide to continue this; just don't writing all together because your stories are gems!
| thenextGayleKing chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
Searing. Sore. Raw.
Truly, I have nothing to add with my pitiful words because I can feel it radiating through your words.
| winterstale chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
"I clutched my ribs, as if my hands could withhold the spilling of my insides.
Stop my intestines from flopping like dead eels, my heart from pounding into slowness then racing in fury." Plenty have used the pervasive image of Bella holding herself but nothing I've ever read has ever been able to articulate what Edward's cruel abandonment felt like for her.
The anger is so appropriate. Women are taught to focus on the ache of their hearts, the loss, the immobile feelings. I love that you gave Bella her rage, let her destroy what he didn't hide in his clumsy attempt to submerge their together memories but not erase them.
"Yes, just like one of Charlie’s trout wrestling to oust the hook in its gills.
An orphan urchin amphibian floundering and finding sure legs on land."
Great rebirth imagery - made over and reborn but left to nurture herself the only way she can.
And as always, even as hardened as they are by separation, they still fit.
These collages (I looked it up!) are so perfect for the way you use language. I sense that doing these really gives you room to spread your wings and play around with intense emotion, imagery, and your ever-sumptuous words. You know I love your more traditional narrative work too but this feels like the form that lets you fly.
I'm glad for the hand holding, Sweet-Tart. When I hold your hand, you hold mine, too. : )