|Reviews for GSG great escape|
| Chronic Guardian chapter 27 . 12/1/2013
I like the thought process you had for Rico in this chapter. Very childlike in its odd figuring of cause and effect.
Also, although there were little hints here and there earlier, I think this was the first chapter where I really recognized this as an intentionally fabricated AU rather than just a morph AU that split off from the original at a certain point. Stating this earlier may help readers accept some of the changes more readily.
You juggle a VERY wide cast of characters in this story. So much that it seems sometimes the names get a little mixed up. Despite this, I feel like you do a good job of keeping everyone present for the most part. Especially with the cyborgs, everyone is always pulling their weight. Some of the character adjustments took a little getting used to, but you made it compelling enough that I'm willing to overlook that.
With only four chapters to go, it's hard to see how you're going to wrap everything up so quickly. However, considering there is a sequel you DO have a little leeway. I just... I really hope the Handlers are homefree before the end. Their safety is the most volatile factor in the mix, and I'm just waiting for the horrific moment when the government decides they're expendable.
Onwards to the end,
| Chronic Guardian chapter 7 . 11/9/2013
Now that's what I call a plot twist. The Padania weren't originally evil? It boggles the mind!
Concerning the immediately previous chapter: Bringing in elements that can stand up to the cyborgs is difficult to approach, but I like how you have it here. Especially since these weapons can now be used by the not-entirely-trustworthy SWA.
Things are in for a slow build, but seeing as there ARE thirty one chapters I suppose that's permissible. Tempers seem a little volatile in my humble opinion, but that's okay. Again, should you seek a cleaner I believe I could spare some time to eliminate the typographical errors.
Reading again when possible,
| Chronic Guardian chapter 2 . 11/8/2013
It always hooks me when someone looks into the Jean/Rico fratello without making Jean a total lost cause heartless psychopath but still keeping him in character. Pre-series Jean is a wonderfully ambiguous position to approach, and one I often wonder about myself. Your interpretations here are both interesting and engaging. I assume this happens in place of the Enrica ghost, an odd switch but fitting for your purposes. You're setting up all the pieces before the whole thing falls to dominoes. It makes me wonder what you'll do with Marco.
Are you interested in revising this tale, though it is marked as complete? Grammar and minor adjustments only, of course. If so, mayhaps I can offer my services to you. Think about it.
Oh, and the first chapter was well done too. It's nice to get things from Hilshire's perspective, the man who only sought to do right from the outset. Him and Triela make a great duo and it's nice to imply that they'll be well involved in the story.
Mayhaps I shall read again when I have time. Thank you for the beginning,
| J the Drafter chapter 1 . 11/19/2012
I love this story idea, and I appreciate all the time and work you put into this story as well. However, it really needs some editing. There are multiple places where a comma would make the sentences flow much more smoothly. As it is, the chunky sentence structure is actually giving me some difficulty getting into the plot. There are some paragraphs that could stand some elaboration, too. I do like the story idea though, and I wish you the best of luck with your writing.
| Dancing-Souls chapter 31 . 8/17/2012
| Dancing-Souls chapter 30 . 8/17/2012
Hehe! How nice!
| Inori. D chapter 31 . 7/31/2012
Amazing, can't wait till next arc
| flaxj chapter 31 . 7/31/2012
great chapter. I'm going to enjoy the next arc. I hope that everyone survives.
| Asukaforever92 chapter 31 . 7/31/2012
This was real good though Beatrice is definitively OOC here. Anyway, I'm going to look for the next too installments and see how it goes.
| kopakanuvafan20 chapter 30 . 7/31/2012
So you plan on turning Nunnally into a cyborg?
| Thescarredman chapter 7 . 6/24/2012
Yoiks. Another plot twist that sends handlers reeling away from their canon attitudes. We're setting up for a very big departure, I think.
Seems like Jean and Jose's lines are mixed up in places about midpoint in the chapter. The character addresses Jose, for example, but the quote phrase states that Jose is doing the talking. There are several instances of that.
| Thescarredman chapter 5 . 6/18/2012
What a nice change. Gunslinger Girl is usually so dark and fatalistic, it's great to see them acting up and behaving like girls. And who ever thought Jean would turn into a human being? But you make it believable.
Did you ever find a beta, I wonder?
| flaxj chapter 30 . 5/28/2012
Good Chapter. I hope that I can enjoy the action in the next chapter. I like a good sneak preview if you have a chance.
| Woody G chapter 29 . 5/18/2012
OMG! You're writing is so detailed and the narratives so fluid. I can't stop reading your work. You did a great job fleshing out all the characters though it was kinda monotonous after a few repeats on all the characters.
I look forward to the wrap up an a happy realistic ending. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
| Phantasmagorical Carnival chapter 19 . 3/27/2012
Hello, this is my first time reviewing, and the reason for that is that I would read a chapter...and immediately go to the next one and then read that one and then go to the next on and so on so your little authors not reminded me to review. I just want to say that your story is a good one but I'm kinda thrown off by the scene changes so I have to go back to reread to see what happened and...that's all I can think of and this is a really run-on sentence.
By the way, love your pen name.