Reviews for Penpals
Not-a-nerd-still-a-bookworm chapter 4 . 4/11/2016
Damn you Sulu! Why didn't you just tell him you were you and you had to go back early and that was why you called him! This is why I'm gay, guys just cannot think rationally under pressure!
Journey Hates chapter 9 . 6/1/2013
And remind me to check this again. I love this story!
DragonsRme chapter 9 . 3/29/2013
*dies of cute Chuluness* :D
go.suck.on.a.lemon chapter 9 . 12/27/2010
Utterly adorable.
Mus4u chapter 9 . 5/22/2010
Fantastic read. It was adorable and fun.
Meriarijim chapter 9 . 5/2/2010
My goodness, this entire thing was adorable. D:
Seriously, good times. Want more, though XD Will have to lurk your other fics, too, now. But again, much love for those two and this fic~
OpiumPoppy chapter 9 . 2/15/2010
Wow, this whole story is beautiful and it made me laugh at the end, too.
PersimmonSorbet chapter 9 . 2/11/2010

Ah, the epic cuteness. I love them.

So, back to commenting-I got your response and am glad that you appreciate commentary! I may have already mentioned this, but you seem to do a little tense-switching. I would suggest that, in the future, you try to stick to a single type of tense: for example, in a past narrative like this one, use the pluperfect describe events that have happened before, the past to describe the action of the story and the characters themselves (you use the present to describe Aiko's alcohol tolerance.) Similar tenses help the reader out by making the whole thing flow :)

Other than that, it's all great! I look forward to the sequel.

An afterthought-Okay, he's the challenge with Pavel's accent. I love it. I really do. And it's SUCH an integral part of his character, you can't really drop the whole thing. So, my suggestion would be to just do the simplest elements of it (the random bits of Russian, his strange word choice and syntax, his w-v thing, the e-a thing) and drop anything that will make you double letters (ex. 'eet'. Every time I see it, I think German or French.)
PersimmonSorbet chapter 6 . 2/10/2010
Hello again! Just jotting off a note to show my appreciation.

This is the first place where the dialogue/story progression becomes a bit forced and quite rushed. Can you work in a little more background to where Gaila is coming from? She pops out of nowhere, and our knowledge of her relationship with Pavel/Hikaru has been minimal to this point. You just throw a lot of info at us at once, and we readers need a more gradual influx of knowledge to keep us on top of things :) Other than that, everything is great and I'm looking forward to reading the rest!
PersimmonSorbet chapter 1 . 2/10/2010
Okay, before I finish reading, I'd like to point out very quickly that no one-NO one-in San Francisco calls the city "San Fran". "The City", "SF", or "San Francisco" are all perfectly acceptable, but "San Fran" is the ultimate mark of a tourist. I only mention it because, had he any sense of self-preservation, Pavel would have immediately dropped the habit of calling it that. :)

Now, the real deal-I basically love it. Great dialogue, with nice , character-specific diction. I especially appreciate that you didn't use Pavel's accent in text or in the mass narration, as that is both a generic error and obnoxious to read.

So thank you for this! I look forward to reading the rest.
he is the lamb chapter 9 . 1/30/2010
That was so cute~

Oh my god...I have no idea why you don't have so many more reviews than you do.

I loved the idea of this story and like I said, it was adorable x3 Any ideas for a sequel?

Lyricoloratura chapter 8 . 1/29/2010
Well, YAY.

I finally figured out that I had NOT reviewed Chapter 8, so I can use my turn to review your new Chapter 9! Since I used my original Ch. 9 turn to whine and generally be annoying, I think it's only fair.


LOVED it. Yay for Chulu snuggles and for Hikaru's goofy sisters - what a great touch. (Though I thought he was living in the dorm?) And Pavel making the remark about Hikaru liking his stench - I giggled, so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this whole scene.

And my very own shout-out? Well, we won't even discuss how pleased I was about THAT, my darling.

Looking forward to whatever you do next - carry on!

Much love,

Lyricoloratura chapter 9 . 1/9/2010
You really didn't just do that, did you? Really?

I am going to CRY now - where is my FLUFF, and my RESOLUTION, and all that OTHER fun stuff that gets to come at the end of my favorite Chulu piece in recent memory, darn it?

I mean... really?

Karallaye chapter 8 . 1/6/2010
This was sweet! and YAY more of their cuteness! :D
lokipenguin chapter 7 . 1/3/2010
Onlyone more chapter?

You need to do hunders more of them

Love your Story!
18 | Page 1 2 Next »