|Reviews for demons and witches|
| Commanding After Dark chapter 1 . 7/7
So I finished chapter one. Now for my first impressions.
The summary for this story is incredibly underwhelming. The only reason I clicked on this was because you mention Ulquiorra being in it, so I was mildly curious. If someone isn't curious in Ulquiorra, you've failed to yank them in.
Superb, I rarely see people who get near perfect spelling on this site, even with its built in grammar checker. Even I sometimes misspell words, so well done.
You really need to work on your English skills. Too often did I find dozens, literally, of sentences that needed to be capitalized and should have been so.
In Character/Suspension of Disbelief:
This is the largest problem the story has, even when it didn't have many. It is like a broad side cannon scoring a direct hit on a wooden vessel. Look up "When Snape isn't Snape" and you'll understand my irritation with the portrayal of Ulquiorra. He is a highly reserved person, rarely showing the wide display of emotions you depicted.
Additionally, the cast seems all over the place. It just so happens that the fictional Left 4 Dead's Green Flu infected the world and the survivors are people who played Left 4 Dead? That doesn't work, you literally can't have both and have a story worth its word count. That is like Master Chief from the critically acclaimed Halo series play Call of Duty: Zombies and then a zombie outbreak occurs and it comes out that Master Chief really sucks at killing zombies.
These were my gripes and my pleasantries.
| ZERO chapter 3 . 5/9/2015
Interesting...When's chapter 4?
| weasel AKA boundedsumo chapter 1 . 2/15/2015
| lightwithinthedark chapter 1 . 8/30/2012
I don't know why you ever stopped this! This is really good!
| sendicard chapter 3 . 5/25/2011
Ahh. No worries. Ulquiorra wouldn't leave you in the woods. He would simply stab you to death.
| sendicard chapter 2 . 5/25/2011
10 points for originality.
-15 points for the errors.
10 points for keeping it interesting.
5 points for the comedy
Wow. 15 points. Aren't you awesome.
| sendicard chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
Wow. I hate to break it but I used all my good detailed reviews earlier today when I wasn't tired.
| Sam Leonhart chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
Is this supposed to be a one shot...?
It doesn't matter. Just the characters and story makes it seem like that...