Reviews for demons and witches
tuxxeTW chapter 1 . 10/23/2016
Once upon a time, in meme hell.. “Emma!” Tory shouted from her front porch, “Get your fucking bike!” Emma snorted and lifted her bike tenderly from her car.
“Hold the fuck on,” Emma explained as she wheeled her bike over to the porch where Tory was standing. “Jesus Christ,” Emma retorted. “Stop being so salty.” Tory ignored her remark and hopped on her bike, while Emma did the same. Halfway down the road, Emma asked, “Where are we even going?” Tory glanced up for a second and winked.
“You’ll see.” A few minutes later, Tory pulled into a driveway. Emma followed. The house looked abandoned and destroyed. Tory and Emma parked their bikes against the house, on the cracked driveway. Emma tagged behind Tory as she confidently walked up to the house, grabbed the door handle and flung the door wide open. They both walked in, ignoring the muddy floor and shattered windows.
“Why are we fucking here?” Emma asked, spooked.
“You’ll see,” Tory said and winked again. Suddenly, Tory stepped out of the house and shut the door. Tory shouted through the door, “A quick phone call.” Tory stepped further away from the house and pulled out her phone. She dialed a number. “Sriracha, I need you to pull up, now.” Tory said quickly.
“Sure thing,” Sriracha replied. “With the others?”
Tory replied, “You mean the potatoes and Mjung, right?” Tory said quickly, not wanting to leave Emma in the house for too long.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sriracha said hastily and hung up. Tory sighed of relief and strutted quickly back to the door and opened it.
“Sit the fuck down,” Tory said. “And stay here. Until they come.” Tory finished.
“Um… Who are ‘they’? Emma questioned. Tory took her finger to shush Emma up when a white van blasting ‘Meme Machine’ pulled into the driveway. On the side, words written with Sharpie-scrawled ‘FREE SHRIMP’. The back of the van flung open, revealing Mjung carrying a sack of potatoes. Mjung dropped the sack of potatoes on the concrete and Sriracha got out of the car. Sriracha was wearing sunglasses with ‘I’m’ written on one lens with white marker, and ‘Gay’ written on the other lens. “Looking as hot as ever,” Emma said from the pavement.
“Mhm, I know.” Sriracha said smoothly. Suddenly, the group heard footsteps coming toward them against the pavement.
“Hm?” Mjung turned around and saw Angel.
“Angel?” Tory said.
“Sriracha,” Angel said. “I saw your van going by, something important, hm?”
Sriracha glanced around and said, “I got called here,” Sriracha tilted her glasses down and relaxed a little. Tory started for the door. The rest of the group followed. Mjung picked up the sack of potatoes and walked inside, overwhelmed with the size and weight. Tory held the door open and took the sack from Mjung. While dropping it on the floor, the rest of the group sat on the muddy floor. Tory sat down as well. “What the fuck are we doing here? Was I called for nothing? I never get called for nothing. My number is like 911, call only if you need me.” Sriracha explained. “I could’ve been browsing Pornhub.”
Sriracha quieted and turned to Emma, “Yeah, same here.” Tory winked at Sriracha and Emma’s remark.
“This’ll be better than Pornhub,” Sriracha turned to Tory with a look on her face while Mjung immediately flushed at her comment. Angel snickered from the corner of the room. “This will be interesting.” Suddenly, with all of the heat rushing through the air between them, Tory and Emma suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to fuck. They came together quickly, rolling around on the carpet making out, while the rest of them just stared in awe. Tory had her hand down Emma’s pants before they knew it. Sriracha and Mjung stared at each other then back at them. Mjung grabbed some popcorn. Tory and Emma were soon naked, rolling around on the floor, making out on top of all the clothes. Angel snickered again, more loudly this time. She was getting something out of this. Sriracha didn’t know what to do except sit there and watch, the same story with Mjung. Sriracha locked eyes with Mjung then switched her gaze over to Angel. Mjung reached out to Sriracha and Sriracha peeked over her glasses.
“You're not doing what I think you're doing,” Sriracha explained to Mjung.
“Yep,” Mjung suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to fuck someone, anyone. Sriracha was closet. Tory and Emma kept making out, this time lying still on the carpet. Emma whispered something to Tory and then they began to really get at it. Mjung grabbed at Sriracha desperately. Sriracha didn’t know what to do. Her keys were on the other side of the room, too late now. Mjung pulled Sriracha closer, while watching Tory and Emma. While Mjung and Sriracha started to make out (Mjung silently ready for suicide), Tory and Emma slowly got up. Emma pushed Tory against the wall kept making out, harder. Tory moaned. She thought it couldn’t be better, but it could. Angel was still in the corner, filming the whole thing.
“Guys, mind if I post this on Pornhub?” No one responded, so she kept recording anyway. Mjung and Sriracha were really getting at it now, with Sriracha still a little uncomfortable, but Mjung was content (but kinda high on berries). Still naked, Tory and Emma began to fuck, with Tory moaning steadily. Now it was getting hot. Sriracha didn’t mind it anymore. She was loving it. Mjung was happy too, and Angel was getting a kick out of all this, laughing at her recording.
“Fuck,” Tory moaned.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Jesus, it’s so good!” Emma said. In all of their action, Tory kicked the bag of potatoes away by accident, sending the potatoes flying. None of them noticed. Suddenly, a potato hopped out of the sack. The potato is wearing a Waffen SS hat. Then it fell over. Potatoes can’t walk you fucking dumbass. The potato rolled away and out the door. Tory and Emma were finished, same with Sriracha and Mjung. They all gathered their clothes headed out the door. Angel tagged behind them, rendering and posting her video on Pornhub. Emma and Tory lazily grabbed their bikes and rode off, looking at each other lovingly. Sriracha and Mjung climbed back into the van, and loaded the potatoes in the back. Sriracha noticed that the Waffen potato was missing. She ran out of the van and picked it up, dropping it in the back of the van with the rest of the potatoes.
“I can’t afford to lose you,” Sriracha said to the potato.
“Yeah, I know. I pay your rent,” the potato replied. Sriracha hopped back in the driver’s seat and took off.
“What a fun evening,” Mjung said.
“Yeah, certainly interesting.” Sriracha replied, as they drove back the way they came. The following day, Emma proposed a karaoke night. That night at approximately 6:00 PM, Tory called Sriracha.
“Sriracha,” Tory said, “Mind if you pull up at my house?” Tory finished.
“Yeah,” Sriracha said, “No problem. Coming over now.” In less than 30 seconds, Sriracha pulled into Tory’s driveway. As Sriracha rolled down the window, Tory peeked her head in.
“Mind if we get in?” Mjung and the sack of potatoes were outside of the van, waiting.
“Yeah, yeah. Get the fuck in,” Sriracha replied. “Where to?” Sriracha asked.
“Emma’s,” Tory told Sriracha. They all piled into the car, and soon enough, they arrived at Emma’s house. As Sriracha pulled into the driveway, Emma flung open the door.
“Are you READY?!” Emma shouted,
“YEAH!” Tory yelled. Without question, Sriracha and Mjung got out of the van and looked at each other questioningly. They both shrugged and Sriracha walked through the door, greeting Emma on her way in. Emma nodded at her and Sriracha looked over her glasses in acknowledgement. Mjung was soon inside the house too, carrying the sack of potatoes and setting them down on the floor by the couch. Tory was the last to come into the house, high-fiving Emma on her way in. Emma shut the door behind her. Tory soon turned around to the sound of shouting. Outside the house, wildly waving, was Angel, holding her phone in the air.
“I’M READY TO RECORD!” Angel yelled. Tory opened the door and Angel rushed inside. Tory shut the door again and greeted Angel briefly before taking a seat on the couch beside Emma. Emma got up and plugged something into the wall before sitting down next to Tory again. Sriracha, Angel, and Mjung awkwardly tried to fit onto the loveseat next to the couch, where Tory and Emma were spread out, enjoying the leg room.
Emma got up again to announce, “OK EVERYONE! Thank you so much for coming, and as always, thank you Sriracha for driving all of these plebs here.” Emma looked at Sriracha then back at the group.
“No problem,” Sriracha said, “Any time these plebs need a ride.” Angel had her phone out, ready to record, in case anything interesting was to happen. Emma gestured for them all to stand up, so they did. Tory reached down to pick up the karaoke microphone. She knew what she was doing. Tory started singing “A Thousand Miles.” When she finished, Emma clapped wildly. Sriracha, Mjung, and Angel clapped as well, but not as wildly. Emma gave them a look. Then, Emma grabbed the microphone from Tory as Tory sat back on the couch. Emma started singing various Panic! At the Disco songs while the rest of them watched, thoroughly amused with her performance. When she was finished singing, the group stood up and started clapping. Tory bowed to her with a smirk, then sat back down. Sriracha was the next one to grab the microphone and began to sing other Panic! At the Disco songs that Emma missed. Sriracha kept singing, but she also sang Twenty One Pilots and My Chemical Romance songs. When Sriracha was finished, Emma stood up and high-fived her. Tory stood up and saluted her, again, with a smirk on her face, then sat back down. They could tell she was thinking about something, or someone. As Sriracha sat down, Angel complimented her on her song choice. Mjung was up next, with Angel now recording. Mjung stood in the center of the room for a minute, thinking about his act. Suddenly, without warning, Mjung began fucking screeching the W
Commanding After Dark chapter 1 . 7/7/2016
So I finished chapter one. Now for my first impressions.

Summary:
The summary for this story is incredibly underwhelming. The only reason I clicked on this was because you mention Ulquiorra being in it, so I was mildly curious. If someone isn't curious in Ulquiorra, you've failed to yank them in.

Spelling:
Superb, I rarely see people who get near perfect spelling on this site, even with its built in grammar checker. Even I sometimes misspell words, so well done.

Grammar:
You really need to work on your English skills. Too often did I find dozens, literally, of sentences that needed to be capitalized and should have been so.

In Character/Suspension of Disbelief:
This is the largest problem the story has, even when it didn't have many. It is like a broad side cannon scoring a direct hit on a wooden vessel. Look up "When Snape isn't Snape" and you'll understand my irritation with the portrayal of Ulquiorra. He is a highly reserved person, rarely showing the wide display of emotions you depicted.

Additionally, the cast seems all over the place. It just so happens that the fictional Left 4 Dead's Green Flu infected the world and the survivors are people who played Left 4 Dead? That doesn't work, you literally can't have both and have a story worth its word count. That is like Master Chief from the critically acclaimed Halo series play Call of Duty: Zombies and then a zombie outbreak occurs and it comes out that Master Chief really sucks at killing zombies.

These were my gripes and my pleasantries.
ZERO chapter 3 . 5/9/2015
Interesting...When's chapter 4?
weasel AKA boundedsumo chapter 1 . 2/15/2015
wow...
lightwithinthedark chapter 1 . 8/30/2012
I don't know why you ever stopped this! This is really good!
sendicard chapter 3 . 5/25/2011
Ahh. No worries. Ulquiorra wouldn't leave you in the woods. He would simply stab you to death.
sendicard chapter 2 . 5/25/2011
10 points for originality.

-15 points for the errors.

10 points for keeping it interesting.

5 points for the comedy

Wow. 15 points. Aren't you awesome.
sendicard chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
Wow. I hate to break it but I used all my good detailed reviews earlier today when I wasn't tired.
Sam Leonhart chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
Is this supposed to be a one shot...?

It doesn't matter. Just the characters and story makes it seem like that...