|Reviews for Mausoleum|
| Trevor X chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
You write beautifully. I have to agree with a previous reviewer about writing professionally - if you did, I'd buy the book. And probably read it once every two weeks.
Somehow you make angst turn beautiful instead of ugly. Even when it has down to earth dirt on its shoes. I don't know how you manage it. It doesn't feel too unwieldy, or unbelievable. It's Kent's view on the matter, and how he sees things in a light that none of his companions bother to consider. Of them all, I think he could have understood Lyn's loneliness the best, had she shown him even a hint. I loved how he remembers his promises to watch out for Florina, even when he's too distraught by Lyn's departure to do much else. And the descriptive phrases... wow!
He got a tombstone as a gift, so someone else could have a ticket.
I'm so tempted to write a follow up to make Kent have happy ending instead. But then I'd have to figure out HOW to make Kent have a happy ending...
Anyways, Happy New Years - and Happy Writing!
| Mark of the Asphodel chapter 1 . 1/1/2010
Ooh. I quite like this one. Kent seems quite young in this (though, of course, he *is* young) and perhaps a little...contemporary in spots. And the "heart" metaphor is more grotesque than romantic ("digging into the soft, vulnerable organ"), though that might be the point. Kent, after all, has probably seen more of the human heart than anyone wants to see. But the drudgery and the pain of this one is terribly affecting- I found the confrontation between Kent and Florina particularly devastating, and Wil's succinct farewell followed through on that nicely (quibble with the Sain scene- it reads like omniscient POV for bit). Anyway, I think you're right in that there is more to this one than meets the eye. I don't think you were painting Lyn in a bad light at all- this is just a very plausible perspective on a thorny situation. In short, there are a few rough spots, but this one really hit home for me.
| Caellach Tiger Eye chapter 1 . 12/31/2009
No, you're right. It's in human nature to do things we want to do - that we sometimes feel we NEED to do - without possibly considering the consequences these actions will bring. Lyn could never have brought herself to stay in Lycia - her soul, one realises, would ache for the plains of Sacae, the oceans of grass and the wind and the beasts of the plains. I imagine that she did try very hard to get Eliwood and HEctor's aid in merging Caelin with Ostia, but ... poor Kent.
I can certainly see why you love the Lyn/Kent pairing - it works on so many levels, and the characters have the best chemistry together. As much as I love it, however, I can really see this outcome as a possible ending for them. Kent does not refuse Lyn's request; Florina follows her best friend, returning to Ilia but residing in Sacae; Wil fulfills Lyn's request to finally return to Pherae; as for Sain, I don't know what you thought up to drive HIM away, but I can see him growing in maturity and becoming a devoted spouse in the future to a nice girl, not to mention retaining his sense of honour and fighting injustice.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - you have a MARVELLOUS way with words. You could write a six-book series (each 600 pages), with each two making up one story in a trilogy - using all this depth of description and lovely flow - and I doubt people would be bored of it. OR ... you could write a single novel with all the emotional depth of a trilogy, and it would be as fulfilling as reading another two books. Have you thought of taking a professional career in writing?
Keep it up with these lovely ficlets - they make me love these characters even more!