Reviews for The Fair Maiden and the Lord of the Underworld
ColaGummyBears chapter 1 . 7/8/2015
Brilliant, simply brilliant! Great job! :)
CheshireKitKat chapter 1 . 6/19/2015
this was definitely interesting! XD
Skywroe chapter 1 . 11/30/2014
That was so great :) I would love to see a sequel to this. I love the dresses Haruhi and Ranka-san wore, I could imagine such beauty and they looked amazing, I'm actually loving Hades just because of this story.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/27/2014
This was awesome! The storyline was incredible, I enjoyed it greatly! Even the ending was good. _
It's rare I find such a well thoughtout and well written Fanfic.
uyay chapter 1 . 8/18/2013
I like the beginning and middle, but I'm not sure how I feel about the ending, I feel like it needs a follow up, like a second chapter or an epilogue that continues or at least tells us if they get together in the real world.
littletigery chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Are you doing a sequel? You should, you left it at the perfrect spot for one.
EndlessChains chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
I must say that this was pretty funny. I like how you incorporated a Greek myth with these two. It really fits their personality. The poetic description you put into the story was beautifully chosen and vivid. It was interesting to see how they will get to know each other and soon fall in love with each other. Kyoya's jealousy is justified but who knew that is what will start the kidnapping. By the end of the story, I did not expect it all to be some shared dream that Kyoya got from Nekozawa. He can be really tricky when he wants to be that is for sure. The story was nicely written and the plot was really well though out. For a first story it is well done. The plot was really interesting in its own way. Thank you. Keep up the good work.
AnimeApprentice chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
That was genius. I just can think of nothing else to say.
Senseijordan chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
Love love love love it! Love the twist at the end sooooo amazing love how you mix in Greek myth
setlib chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
For a first story, this was very well done. First of all, the IDEA was fantastic! I'm a sucker for a Haruhi/Kyoya pairing, and for any Hades/Persephone story, but to combine the two was just brilliant. I even liked the end, with them waking up and the bit about the shared dream spell (room for a sequel there!). Also your vocabulary is sophisticated and your descriptions are lovely and detailed. You definitely have the building blocks there for being a great writer!

There are two suggestions I would make for improving. First, my pet peeve is head-hopping. If you're going to use multiple points of view at once, make sure it's really clear when you change between them. For example, the paragraph where they're riding on Acheron (which, by the way, was a totally HOT mental image for me!) - the paragraph started out in her POV and ended up in his. Make sure you at least start a new paragraph when you switch POV.

Second, your sentences sometimes run on a little too long and I begin to lose track of the subject. Try making your sentences shorter and more direct, so that your meaning comes across more clearly.

I wouldn't bother writing such a long review if I didn't think you had great potential. You have the ideas and the vocabulary, the actual writing will become more refined as you practice. So write another story!
Cactus2008 chapter 1 . 4/24/2011
Brilliant characterization and laugh out loud funny moments! It would have been a wonderful AU fic as it was, with all the Host Club featured as various Greek gods. Kyouya makes a believable Hades and Haruhi the natural Persephone (pun fully intended). Added bonus at the end when it turned out to be a shared dream, courtesy of Nekozawa's spell. Hmm, he's quite the businessman too, dealing with spells in such a way. Enjoyed this tremendously and look forward to more Ouran fics featuring Kyouya and Haruhi from you. Thanks!
Conanfan15 chapter 1 . 3/9/2011
I really liked it :D

The story was acceptable, everyone in character, and very well written.

Please write more~ :)

Suilan90 chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
Great story! Extremely fun to read!
katarina chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
oh kyouya what will he do next that rich basterd
klaire-chan chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
Marvelous work. :D

It feels authentic and fresh at the same time.

Although some details weren't ironed out and some editing could help polish the narration, then again, these issues were mostly non-essentials anyway.

I was fascinated by how you made the major turns in events so interesting and witty, and how you used storytelling that seemed really alive. :)

It is no small challenge to effectively pattern fanfics after already-established stories, but you did a good job. Congrats!
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