|Reviews for The Chaos Theory|
| Candiddify chapter 22 . 4/5/2011
Why oh why did Kakashi give Hanabi another chance?
Now I understand why Mirai Hinata despises Hanabi. Hate to say it but they should've never trained Hanabi. Chibi-Hinata was seriously a baka for not putting the seal on Hanabi.
This story better be a happy ending! ;~;
| Its A Raquel Thing chapter 22 . 4/3/2011
I would like to know the mystical secret. It is making me pretty mad that i can't update. Oh and also i really like this story. I think it is so cute how they both calm each others nightmares. Please update soon!
| TwiliFay chapter 2 . 4/2/2011
What did Hinata offer insted of her eyes? I didnt catuch that part srry can u tell me plz
| Achalys chapter 22 . 3/28/2011
Oh. My. God. This is sooo amazing! I have a renewed sense of awe every time I read another one of your chapters! There's just so much to comment on, and so little at the same time! haha
I sort of feel bad for Ino. Hanabi is sooo getting on my nerves. I absolutely looove how you write Sasuke.
Please please please update soon! Have a great day!
| MmmmChineseFood chapter 22 . 3/24/2011
WOW this is getting deep. It's so refreshing to see a SasuHina with an actual plot. I'm anxious to see if present day Sasuke can find her! Please update!
| shnickers chapter 22 . 3/24/2011
Wow. I haven't read this in a really long time, and apparently I've been missing a lot. Somehow, this story seems to flow a lot better the second time around. It was still confusing, but you did a good job of filling in the gaps, explaining things, and providing the flashbacks for context. And also props on the original concept-even after getting hints of the who the betrayer was, I never expected her to be the sole cause for the destruction, just that maybe her abilities were used by others or that she was deceived somehow.
I have never read a Hanabi like this. Kudos to you for infusing her with so much...apathy. Though she claims to be lacking it, there's enough emotion-the wrong kind-to be appropriately chilling. Now it's easy to see how she went from her self on The Seventh Day to becoming the sole reason for the Mirai's escape back to the past.
It's interesting how you depict her relationships with the men around her. She seems to want something from them, but at the same time allows herself to become disillusioned by them. And the depth of resentment and annoyance she holds towards Hinata is an interesting new way of regarding their relationship-one benefits, one suffers in indirect correlation.
You always do an incredible job with Sasuke. He can be one of the most complex characters to deal with, because you just don't know what he's thinking. But somehow, every interaction he has with the characters around him, and his mental processes all seem to just make sense.
One thing that isn't clear at this point-and I'm pretty positive you want it to remain so-is how exactly the "pale, white man" that Hanabi summoned is related to Naruto's jutsu-can any Hyuuga perform the jutsu? Is Hanabi special? Is the white man just some representation of death and the afterlife, or is there more to him than meets the eye?
I can't wait to see how things progress in the present past (?), now that the past/future has been changed...
| the aspiring cynic chapter 22 . 3/23/2011
Your story is simply beautiful. It's a little rough around the edges with a few mistakes but nonetheless it is a masterpiece. Please update soon.
| Djomar chapter 22 . 3/23/2011
Wow,Hanabi actually killed I understand why Hinata from the future wanted to kill her and gave away her love for her story,there's so much suspense,and each chapter increases my curiosity,what will happen next,Sasuke definitely needs to find Hanabi before she gives away her they don't succed and are late in saving her,will they kill her?or just lock her up?they'll have to do something if they find her too late
| jaja59 chapter 22 . 3/23/2011
I don't know why didn't I give this a shot on every freaking instance I came across this story and now that I have, I feel like an idiot for being so late to discover such a wonderful work. I was thinking that I would not like it since it's drama and you proved to be a great writer by shifting genres. Did you know that you made a mark on me because of your story 'Ultimatum'? That's the very first Sasuhina I read and that got me into the fandom. Look how your writing has influenced me. Ok, real review, though I was kind of having a hard time during the first few chapters due to 2 Hinatas, Sasukes and the likes, I adjusted and came to love it! How I wish that you would update on every freaking chance you get. But really you gave me addiction with this pairing and Kassai. So please make her come back. I grew to love her. And Omg don't tell me that Hanabi killed their first child, the one with the Hyuga eyes? :O So please enlighten your readers by uploading the next chapter! NYAHAHA :D
| onlyluna chapter 22 . 3/23/2011
i can't believe hanabi's turning so evil. oh god. i think c's gonna kill the child too since this baby has white eyes. hope all goes well. thanx for the update and your response
| non ame chapter 22 . 3/23/2011
YAAA! :) u updated, but doesn't hinata baby has sasuke eyes?
| Andreya Halms chapter 22 . 3/22/2011
I know Hanabi has her reasons and everything for doing whatever she's doing, but now, she's just getting on my nerves.
that aside, i love the way you managed to morph mirai hinata into something extremely un-hinata-ish, and then portrayed sasuke and hinata's relationship. the entire plot's kinda confusing, and so i'm reading it all over again.
oh, and if you don't bring kasai back (i don't care HOW, just DO it), you shall be cursed to suffer from athlete's foot for the rest of your life.
thou have been warned.
| Prose Vanity chapter 22 . 3/22/2011
There is this odd gut feeling in me that just makes me want to roll over and puke because seriously, Hanabi is just grating on my nerves. I don't know what kind of crazed-up girl she's going to be but at least she makes me want so much more of your writing.
Brilliant, as always. (:
| winterkaguya chapter 22 . 3/22/2011
It seemed that Hanabi is now forever lost in darkness huh? Literally and figuratively of course. But why do I have this big feeling that Hanabi might hurt the baby? Ino is already family and babies don't make any difference? So, to what level is she going to degenerate? It seemed like she's some sort of 'serial killer' in some circumstances, ne?
Wow...can't imagine what will happen next. I'm sure the others in the interrogation knew what happened. And what is Hanabi's defence would be? I guess the best interrogation is that someone enters Hanabi's mind rather than physical torture. Maybe physically torturing her would not give serious impact but from what Ino did, mentally seemed very traumatic. I wondered why didn't any of them would send Hanabi for psychiatric evaluation when she was taken those years ago?
Hmmmm...I still think there's a chance for Hanabi to recover since she still "recognizes" her family. The time she killed Ino was more of Ino triggered something in her that she snapped automatically therefore, she doesn't seem to have lost it yet. Just feeling numb. But the more important question is, how long is she going to feel numb?
Looking forward to the next chappie!
| Kurtulmak chapter 22 . 3/21/2011
Well, I'm hooked. Fan Japanese irregularities aside, this is a marvelously plotted fic with (for the most part) excellent characterization and a great use of foreshadowing to create mystery.
The plot device of the pale man makes me think of the "God" beyond the Gate in "Full Metal Alchemist." This sets a tone for the entire series of cruel choices, sacrifices, and proverbial (and maybe literal) deals with the devil. Combine that with Naruto's subtle corruption by the Nine Tails, Sakura's unbounded "inner" side, Hinata's shattering by rape, and Sasuke's... well... Sasuke-ness, and you've got quite a collection of imperfect and unbalanced protagonists whose presence may be making things *worse* in equal or greater measure to how much they make it better.
I love the bit at each midnight where you mention the changes taking place and their awareness of it. I love the tension in between Sasuke and Hinata - the incompleteness of their love and its cruelties and clashes juxtaposed with how they are still better together than apart. I'm also deeply enjoying the Interludes and how they finally reveal aspects of the plot that you'd been whetting people's appetite for for several chapters.
I'm intrigued by the choice to make Hanabi a villain. She has so little canon characterization that she's practically a blank canvas to paint on, and you've used that canvas well. Based on her start of darkness and how she turned out later, I have to wonder whether she's a hollow innocent, a monster in the making, or both.
(And I've *really* got to find out how Hanabi turning "evil" leads to the destruction of Konoha and the creation of an enemy that can fight the four heroes to a standstill.)
I also really want to know what Hanabi's sacrifice did to her and the relationship between her "mother" and the pale man.
As for the main pairing in the fic, I have to say that in the flashbacks, you've made Sasuke & Hinata work pretty well. Sure, you had to basically shatter Hinata and replace her with a new character, but it at least didn't come out of nowhere or feel like someone just possessed her with a different character. There was logical character growth that led her there, and the new Hinata works well is Sasuke.
Unfortunately, I can't quite say the same for their teen selves. Sasuke just turns and notices Hinata for the first time, and she suddenly finds herself fascinated by him and his brooding pathos. I just don't buy it for teen Hinata; Sasuke is pretty much the opposite of what her canon self admires in a boy. Sasuke's attraction can be passed off as purely physical, but Hinata had plenty of time to notice /him/ before. At least future Hinata had the experience of having her entire life and romantic sensibilities torn to shreds before falling for the boy who saved her life and who became one of its last fixtures. Teen Hinata is just suddenly captured by The Bishounen Field (tm) or something. Later, some of Sasuke's mysterious attraction gets explained by how much he thinks he should follow his future's footsteps and by wanting Kasai to exist, but it didn't make that much sense at first.
That said, I loved the later scenes when Sasuke's impulsive words came together to convince Hinata that Sasuke was her rapist and where Sakura's showing off strongly altered the timeline. Oh, Kasai, you were doomed from the moment Sasuke realized that upsetting any events that led to getting together with Hinata could erase you! And poor Kesshi! To exist as mistake - as a violation of fate and destiny - and to basically be nothing but an innocent whose existence must be wiped out to save Kasai.
(Or is she? I want to know just what Kasai sacrificed and what Kesshi should have had to sacrifice to exist there. Also, I'd love to know why they're all telepathic now. Side-effect of the process?)
So many good plot threads. Sakura's changes and the sacrifices she's retroactively made are a very bitter way of driving home how much what they change can hurt them. It's particularly bitter when you consider that it's all Naruto's fault that Tsunade passed the technique on. If I haven't mentioned it before, reading a time travel fic that isn't a 100% fix-fic and instead introduces some negative changes is far more fun than one in which nothing goes wrong. I'm loving the drama.
(Aside: Of all the actions that I thought were going to lead to more tragedy, I'm surprised that (a) saving Tsunade and keeping the barrier up and (b) Sasuke using the cursed seal turned out as well as it did. I had expected nothing but tragedy from the moment it was revealed that only Tsunade's death allowed Sasuke to save Hinata's eyes and life.)
I'm also deeply amused by nearly any scene Kakashi is in. His cheerful inquisition and handing off a porn book to a 5 year old were just wonderfully quirky.
So yeah, this fic is addictive, and I'm subscribed.
I just wanted to finish off with a few nitpicks that you may want to polish up:
Ch. 5: "Say-chan" is an odd nickname since Kasai is pronounced "kah-sigh" (technically "kah-sah-ee," but the last two blur into an "eye" sound). Also, when Hinata mentions that Sasuke stresses the syllables of her name wrong, you should know that Japanese doesn't stress syllables (at least not the way English does).
Ch. 12: First spelling error: "nerve raking." Should be "nerve-wracking." Nice job getting that far without one, though.
Ch. 12 (and others): It's very odd for Sakura to call Naruto Uzumaki for two reasons.
First, it implies social distance that is unnatural someone's wife, long-time friend, and teammate and without an honorific it goes further into contempt. You don't drop honorifics on last names except with someone who is a social inferior. If your fic was wholly in English, it might not be so bad, but you have used honorifics on rare occasion, and you do sprinkle in enough Japanese words to switch on an expectation of better use.
The second reason is particular to the Naruto setting. No one in the original Japanese ever uses someone's last name alone. Ever. Which is odd in Japanese, but Naruto seems to be a first-name basis setting to the point that we don't even know if many characters even *have* last names.
Ch. 13: Typo. "Irational."
Ch. 20: I'm not sure if I just don't understand the following sentence or if there's a typo: "She could even hear the differences in her sister's breathing patters than day: heavier; faster." ("That day," perhaps?)
Ch. 20: Another Japanese quirk. Hanabi saying, "Un?" to Kakashi was basically the equivalent of saying, "Yeah, and?" Kind of rude and hostile sounding. Maybe that's what you were shooting for but it jarred with the rest of the scene.
One last note of praise / bemusement.
I am amused by how you have to put authors notes at the top of chapters to tell people what's going on. Despite all the mystery that comes from plot elements not revealed, I think you've done a good job of making a plot that's pretty easy to follow if you're paying attention. On the other hand, I do have the benefit of having read the whole thing from start to finish in one sitting without however many days, weeks, or months it takes between updates. While some readers may be confused, I'd like to voice a note of praise for how well-connected the story is and the skill with which you reveal your hand card-by-card.