|Reviews for The Chaos Theory|
| limemargaritas chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
the first time i read this story the initial time you published it, i loved it. i still do. :] thank you for putting it back on fanfiction. update soon please! if i remember correctly, this was the last chapter that you updated last time? it's the last chapter that i remember at least. :] thank you for your hard work!
| DAngel7 chapter 15 . 4/3/2010
The chapter was really heavy. So you present that as a flashback - I wonder from what time (in the future). This wasnt messy or complicated so to try and understand the reader what is happening but it was so heavy with what happened and is deep emotional. I want to congratulate you for the balance you make in the try with chapters. The chapter was really good. I really want to see what is next. Please update soon.
| 8sword chapter 15 . 4/3/2010
After rereading your author's note about this being a flashback (AFTER already writing my review), it occurred to me that possibly maybe the events of this chapter are what happened in the past BEFORE the Mirai characters came to it? If that's true, I don't know how much of this review still applies. But if it's not true (which I think it might not be since Hinata does think about Mirai Sasuke at one point), then never mind. _ sorry, I think I've confused myself. Anyway, here's the review I wrote:
This had to have been a really hard chapter to write. How much to focus on the rape after the fact, how to write from Hinata’s PoV after it. I almost think it would have been more effective to write the last part of the chapter from Sasuke’s PoV also, instead of delving into Hinata’s. I feel like you would have been able to portray her upset much more effectively by allowing us to see her actions and emotions from an outside lens instead of herself. Especially because Sasuke has showed himself pretty perceptive when it comes to her, I think he could have picked up on her feeling of being used and animal and her fear of what the Hyuuga will say/do. Writing from Sasuke’s PoV instead of Hinata’s also would have protected you from having to write from the I’ve-just-been-raped point of view, which I think is EXTREMELY hard to keep from becoming a little unrealistic. It was a little hard to swallow Hinata noticing that Sasuke looked human when he slept after she’s just been raped, for example. But if you wrote from Sasuke’s pov, you wouldn’t have to worry about making missteps like that as much.
I also feel that Sasuke’s point of view instead of Hinata’s would have been good because it would have continued that sort of motif you started in the chapter when Hinata bit Sasuke. We saw Hinata and Sasuke sort of switching their normal roles, with Hinata becoming the closed-off, slightly dangerous, tortured one instead of Sasuke, and I think you could have continued that here by depriving us of Hinata’s PoV.
Anyway, that’s a lot of blabbing on about PoV. Sorry. It’s a compliment, because I have to be really passionate about your characters and story to have thought so much about them, right? :Lol. I have a lot of problems with who to give PoV to in my own writing, so it’s a bit of an obsession.
I do really miss the other characters (especially the Mirai ones) in this chapter. I didn’t realize it before, but I think their presence and all their various different motives and goals keeps the story propped up from becoming too…much. Too angsty? Too something. With only present Hinata and Sasuke and a little bit of Sakura, the chapter felt a little disconnected from the rest of the story, both in content and tone. I think even just a scene of one of the other characters would have improved this, even though I know you were probably going for a finally-we-see-what-happens-to-Hinata-I’ll-devote-this-chapter-entirely-to-this-hugely-important-event effect.
It was pretty cool that Tsunade’s seal kept him from going after Hinata. A little sad, because it seems like after all the deliberating back and forth that the Mirai characters have been doing about the future (and after we saw how they really have changed the past/present with Kesshi now existing instead of Kasai), I think we expected something to go differently for Hinata and change her past. I see how the new route, with Sasuke kind of taking care of her like this, will hopefully lead to the future that the Mirai characters want with them getting together and having Kasai after all, but I still feel sad that we didn’t quite get to see some EFFECT that all this has had on Hinata. So far, she still seems kind of like the same character, while Sasuke seems to have matured greatly in his capacity to care.
So. That’s a lot of talking, sorry. I just love this story so much. I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen. And I really want to see more Mirai Sasuke and Naruto. It will also be interesting to see what the Hyuuga do. If they kick her out(bastards), will Sasuke take her in? And how will the Mirai characters react to the Hyuuga kicking her out? Ooh, the possible confrontations are so exciting…
| zuul chapter 15 . 4/3/2010
Very good chapter. It will be interesting to read about what happened in the alterated past.
And what will happen to Hanabi...?
| Mabel chapter 15 . 4/3/2010
Only you could make me believe that Sasuke would randomly, in the middle of the night, invest himself with Hinata's wellbeing. I think the beginning tidbit that illustrates his mentality helps to serve as an explanation for that.
As always, I really appreciate your narrative voice. People are often telling me to take up writing professionally, but I tend to disregard those comments because at the end of the day all I write are silly Naruto fics. You, however, somehow make these things meaningful. I hope that doesn't creep you out.
| mialuv998 chapter 15 . 4/3/2010
Is it wrong that I'm still rolling my eyes at the people who just can't put two and two together? Anyways, I've enjoyed reading this most awesome story over again and look forward to new chapters (hopefully!). You are, as always, one of the most talented writers I've had the pleasure of reading.
| SinShu chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
well wow! but hey, this chapter confused me a little bit. was it because hinata was unrecognizable that sasuke and sakura could,'t really tell that it was she? but didn't they all spar earlier? oh maybe its cause i'm totally waisted that i can't really think strait. oh well hope you continue?
| fhclause chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
"If you die, I die," he mentioned. "Tell me when you're ready."
I just realized, that is more or less a love confession from Sasuke, if he's aware of it or not...
| loyal reader123 chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
that was intense...loved it..
| mistressofdarkness962 chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
woah so intense O.O very well written, can't wait for more.
| NanamiYatsumaki chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
Great chapter, helped to explain a lot about how Hinata and Sasuke came to be. Thanks for the update!
| Lems chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
oh god, that was so tragic and made me shiver. this chapter has so much drama i loved every single sentence ! so intense !
ah i wish this story would never end, kind of like torn from renoa which is probably my top favorite sasuhina fic with this one.
keep it up!
so she really did get raped, tsunade died, hanabi was kidnap, kasai might return and so what will happen? what did mirai sasuke planned during the fated night, what the hell did he do, and what about the others ... damn again so much suspense, so much unanswered questions, so much angst, so much drama ! argh I LOVE IT !
| cheh chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
Woops, sorry about that, i didn't notice that at all last chapter, i need to start reading these twice. So this is how things started, i wonder if this part will change in the present or come to the same result but in a different way, probably the latter. I can't wait to see the next interlude that shows how this will form into a relationship. I have this worried feeling about what Mirai Inner Sakura will do after present Hinata is raped.
| Shadow of Miracles chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
This chapter was always very beautiful in a way, I'm not sure how to explain it. I guess its cuz of the whole 'the sun will always rise' thing. Lol I don't know I think its an important concept. Anyways, we're almost there! I think its like one more chapter till the brand new chapter right? Then update soon
| sassafrasss chapter 15 . 4/2/2010
I don't think I've expressed to you just how much I appreciate this story in it's complexity, plot, and style. I have read and followed it each of the different times you have posted it, and I'm so sorry you have to explain yourself to some of the less astute in your readers.
Personally, I have had NO trouble following this story. I don't know some things about it yet, but thats because you have left them out on purpose. I find this one of the most exciting and well written stories i've read on this site yet, and I just wanted to thank you for writing and posting it in the first place.
So thanks :)
Also, I think I'm starting to get a grasp on how Konoha was destroyed... and I'm excited to see if I'm right!
Update when you're ready,