Reviews for Victoria's Return
Guest chapter 1 . 12/4/2014
I do not like how you think it's funny that Bella got raped
Heyitsacookiemonster chapter 4 . 6/1/2012
OMgeeezzziiiessssss thats soooooo goooooddddd. Tooodaayyyy i likeeeee uusssinnngg xxttrraaa lettersssss ::::DDDD

heyitsafreakingcookiemonster

btw - i added the freaking par X)
TwilightMakesTheWorldGoRound chapter 4 . 3/31/2012
PLEASE UPDATE
Lei-lassassin chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
I burst out laughing at the thought of Edward screaming in the backgroung like a little girl while his dad was on the phone. You've somehow managed to make Stephenie Meyer's meyerpires more of a joke than they already are. Well done to you! Well done!

Blue
xXbeautifulIllusionsXx chapter 4 . 9/29/2010
I like it :)
The Swagalicious Mermaid chapter 4 . 9/11/2010
Absouletly love this story! Please update soon! My fav part was when she was singing. sooooo funny! I could totally imagine and picture that happening to me! except my bro would be in my closest spieing on me and post it on youtube. But still awesome story dude!
What a B1tch chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
This is . . . bad. II'm not going to elaborate fully, but the emo angst and moping, coupled with the excess caps locks and the terrible grammar, make it rather boring and headache-forming read.

-Lover of Gone
KatishJohanson chapter 4 . 7/27/2010
PLZ, PLZ, PLZ, finish the story! I really like it! It's AWESOME and FUNNY and SO COOL! Plz update. -Aylablue99
vamp1001 chapter 4 . 3/11/2010
its good u should finish it
Numero Uno chapter 3 . 3/2/2010
gr8t story1! fix the on dialog punctuation and grammar on ur speshul story and u'll b all ready to go1! or try a beta u will receive over 90 internets

forum. fanfiction topic /61196/23249607/27 /#top

the weeabos are going kill your story1! they are all going to attack you like the soviet on eastern europe the tos can't stop them, they is speshul they received over 90 internets chuck norris even can't take them down if they start the lolocaust it's all good it's all good
Dora701 chapter 4 . 2/6/2010
So wait im confused. is she prego? Update soon please.
Enchanted-Bewitchment chapter 4 . 2/5/2010
Love this so far! Is Bella Pregnant? I think that she should be. EVIL TANYA! MWAHAHAHA!

Teeghan XOXO
Glimmerous chapter 3 . 2/1/2010
One thing you must work on is punctuation. Your grammar is pretty consistent, but the punctuation needs some work. One thing you need to focus on is where to put the quote marks, or these things: "". You tend to put too many quotations. Such as:

"EDWARD!" HER FUTURE'S DISSAPEARING!" "DO SOMETHING!" Alicen screeched.

It should read:

"Edward! Her future's disappearing! Do something!" Alice screeched.

Which brings me to another point: spelling.

So, punctuation and spelling. They're basic parts of a story, but they make all the difference.
Jebbykins chapter 2 . 1/9/2010
I was...not impressed. Your spelling needs work, as does your punctuation. There wasn't much wrong with your grammar, but you have a tenuous grip on the basics of writing. Some of your sentences are simply too blocky and choppy, almost as if they're forced.

I suggest a total rework of both chapters.

Final Score: 4/10
District14 chapter 3 . 1/7/2010
Naw. Did you delete my EBUL review?

Intorqueo Sursum Frown

If you wish to complain about me in a loud and rebellious way, please visit my forum. You can get there from clicking 'my forums' from my profile page.
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