|Reviews for FFVIII Fatali Complex|
| Caleb Nova chapter 2 . 2/15/2010
It's been so long since I've read any fanfiction in this fandom that I don't feel I can really speak to the characters all that well (save for the notion that, in the first chapter, it is probably slightly out of character for Quistis to 'giggle').
My first and most immediate advice is, clean it up. You've got spelling errors and grammar errors and you frequently mix your past and present tenses. There's a story here, and even a promising one given some of your amusing imagery ("The second she heard that Rinoa was involved, she quickly grabbed Irvine by the hair and headed straight for the Conference Room"). But it's buried beneath mistakes, a layer of grime that needs to be wiped away. When your story is difficult to read, it becomes that much harder to interest potential readers. Have spelling errors in your summary is practically a warning for most readers to steer clear.
Have someone else look it over before posting, preferably someone with a strong working knowledge of the English language. It's hard to catch your own mistakes. For characterization, try to compare your written reactions to those present in the game. If your characters are reacting to a situation that has no analogue, you must extrapolate, and then it gets trickier. Develop a firm enough grasp on the ins and outs of a character's mindset and you will find that they almost write themselves.
It's not easy to write something compelling. My last bit of advice would be to keep trying. Practice hones all things. As I continue to write, I continue to improve, and I'm sure you'll experience the same. Don't be afraid to write things that will never be posted. Sometimes developing an idea is more important that building an audience.
| MonMonCandie chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
I love how Squall is still in disbelief about Laguna being his dad! XD So funny!
I wonder what will happen in the upcoming chapter! :3
| lyss222 chapter 2 . 1/26/2010
i'm interested to see where it's heading.. i like it so far!
| Scribbleness chapter 2 . 1/25/2010
"Two years, and still can’t believe THAT’S my father.” . i wanna know who that mysterious figure is! oh, and what really happened to rinoa? what's the mock battle? why is she really in esthar?
lots of questions going in my head right now. so if i were you, i'd update soon XD
| RainFlame chapter 2 . 1/25/2010
Another excellenc chapter :) Again, there were only a few grammatical errors, but there were fewer than last time, so you're obviously working on it.
You may want to watch your tenses. You seem to switch from past and present a lot.
Again, nice chapter! I'll look forward to your next update :D
| MonMonCandie chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
Oh I wonder what will happen in the next chapter? :D
The beginning of the chapter was a really good attention-grabber. Especially when Laguna got mad and did a complete 180. XD
Hehe, I'm gonna keep an eye out for this. It's really good so far. The only thing I would suggest is to watch for small spelling and punctuation errors.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
| RainFlame chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
Excellent first chapter! Aside from some spelling and grammatical errors, it looks good :)
Squall seems to be a bit out of character to me, but I understand that it could be personal interpretation and it can sometimes take a while to get in a characters head, especially on a first fic.
Keep up the good work! I look forward to your next chapter!
| rach981 chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
For a first story this is great! I'm hoping you'll update soon and I can't wait to see what the call is all about. Keep up the good work!
| Scribbleness chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
HEY HEY HEY! congrats on your first chapter! :D
anyway, this is good for a first chappie, since you're already shown us the start of the story's problem... but my favorite part goes to the angry laguna... he proved to have a sensible side after all being a funny man.. haha! also, i was left hanging with what really happened to rinoa, and i can't wait till i hear more when xu tells squall and the others...
i do hope you'll update soon! keep up the good work! D