|Reviews for New World Alliance|
| spider carnage chapter 13 . 2/24/2014
i like storm hawks and avatar the last aibender they like my shows on tv
| JGM16 chapter 13 . 9/23/2013
Really nicely done!
| Guest chapter 13 . 6/12/2013
Hey, could make one where the Storm Hawks meets Sora from Kingdom Hearts? I am just asking. It's your choice.
| Aegnorosto chapter 2 . 5/5/2012
I noticed a sentence that could be written better.
"The Talon grunted as he stumbled and fell, and the boomerang was caught by the boy."
(about 12 paragraphs up from the bottom of the page)
This sentence uses passive voice. In passive voice, the action is applied to the subject instead of the subject carrying out the action. Saying "the boomerang was caught by the boy" is passive voice. In active voice, the subject carries out the action. Saying "the boy caught the boomerang" is active voice.
Passive voice has some uses but only when you want to avoid mentioning the person who carried out the action. For example, a politician might say "mistakes were made" without specifying who made them.
You obviously are not doing this since this sentence includes the person carrying out the action. As a result, there really is no reason to use passive voice. Active voice is a stronger way of writing since it makes sentences more direct and easier to read.
| Moon Princess016 chapter 13 . 4/1/2011
good job... I LOVED YOUR STORY! I like how everything fit together even though you made Katara sound a bit more helpless than you needed to. You still did a really good job though
| Atharos chapter 5 . 12/27/2010
Nice chapter i am very much looking forward to reading the other chapters
| Atharos chapter 4 . 12/27/2010
I must say i love the little conversations at the end they are brilliant, the story is great, the premise, and potetial of the setting is amazing rivalled only by your skill in portraying it, you are a very good author, and i hope you know it
| Atharos chapter 1 . 12/26/2010
nice prologue it really gripped me can't wait to read the rest
| Leobracer Silvian chapter 13 . 11/25/2010
Nice story you have here, I really enjoyed it.
I liked the interations between the characters, though I half expected them to be skeptical at first, because people don't just find themselves in a different world and immeadiately assume that they're in another world, but then again, since there's like no ocean in the world of Atmos, I guess it did kind of make sense that the Storm Hawks would begin to assume that they were in another world.
I must also say that even though this story is only 13 chapters long, it didn't feel rushed, I could easily visualize what was going on in the story.
Well, that's all I can say for right now. This is the Ghost Reviewer, waiting to haunt your reviews. *fades*
| SkaterGirl246 chapter 13 . 7/17/2010
Awese story! I hope you make a sequal!
| Snoweh chapter 4 . 6/9/2010
At my point in the story Cyclonis seems a little over-powered, but that's just me. Great story btw.
| Amber Pegasus chapter 13 . 5/19/2010
I loved it. I give this story two thumbs up!
| sunkissedvampire chapter 9 . 4/4/2010
It's good so far, but there doesnt seem to be much character development, like you're focusing to much on whats happening and not enough on the characters themselvs.
| Terranova210486 chapter 13 . 3/28/2010
Great story! Good job with it!
| PEJP Bengtzone chapter 13 . 3/25/2010
This story was kind of OK, I guess.