|Reviews for Torn|
| patch138 chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
amazing...i used to love doing these assignments in my creative writing class in high school...
| Takemeawayfromitall chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Succinct yet utterly beautiful...as is the source of inspiration
| chele681 chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Incredibly poignant. When Edward ponders how much more he can take before he cuts his losses it seems like he's on the precipice of doing so, but also subtly screams that he is not ready to.
You've touched on such a universal theme, but made it so intimate and personal. When Bella reaches out to apologize and they come together, I really want to believe that this is the beginning of the road home for them.
As always, very well done.
| SubtlePen chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
man, you packed a lot into that one.
| Candidus Casus chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Oh! What a beautifully sad story. I really like how you haven't described everything to death - you have let me use my imagination. Well written short story.
| sweet2you chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
So soft, so touching. I like it.
I must say that I normally don't like or read "hurt/comfort/angst" stories, but this one I enjoyed.
| Jessypt chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
This is absolutely beautiful! I adore this line... the imagery is so powerful - "I can barely hear her apologies, tangled in and braided with the tears, but they're there."
| cheddah chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
*tears* thanks for writing something 'real' in the land of fiction.
| dorothy's ruby slippers chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Wow. That was heartbreaking and spectacular. Well done, MsK.
| MasenCullen chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Oh my Lord... I'm all choked up over this. THIS is RL. I mean we've all been there right? RL is a bitch sometimes, we lose sight of what's important, take things for granted, get lost along the way. I'll woman up and admit I've been there before... it's not pretty... you've captured the reality of the situation here... with this.
I love the visuals... they help me hone in on where Edward is atm... how he is atm... what he looks and feels like atm. I especially love that he adores... no, no no that's not right... I love that he would never, could never, get enough of her body even though she sees herself in a different light... HE stills sees her as beautiful. I LOVE THAT! I love when he says, "We can fix it, baby, I promise." ::wipes tears:: She has somehow, somewhere, lost who she is along the way and by admitting to herself AND now Edward... asking him to help her... oh God... I need more Kleenex.
| addictedtotwilight79 chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Wow. I think you hit on so many things with this. I know all to well the fighting over useless stuff. Who knows why we do it. Great job. Really, really great job.
| Decadent Anarchy chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Poor Edward and Bella :(
This line really made me feel for Edward and dispise Bella ever so slightly "Instinctively, I curl into myself, pulling the blanket tighter around me." Then the ending brought them back together, and I felt for her too. I wonder why exactly she is 'so' broken? I love how they can always reconnect through their physical relationship, hmm is it pervy to say I love this about them.
Why does Rob have to make smoking look so damn sexy, it makes me want to light up!
Great entry Mskathy. I hope you do well in the contest!
| justginger chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
really beautiful. do they fix it?
| CorrinaTFF chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
I liked this very much.
The sex on the back porch, near the beach, with the kids inside ... naughty but good.
| n0 l0nger in use chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
What a beautiful imagination you have. I love that picture of Rob and you took your inspiration and really ran with it. Even though this one-shot is so much shorter than what I usually see you write, it is just enough and perfect.