|Reviews for The Harem War|
| Guest chapter 56 . 4/18
Nice story but a lot of repartition
| Rayray15 chapter 72 . 4/10
I am a Brazilian reader, I love the fanfic only giving a review for one thing I realized in some chapters is that you lose a lot on where put some assusnto especí chapter you put Harry as if he did not know the Horcruxes being he knew almost from the beginning of the fanfic for what happened in the bond hour with was not a thing I noticed now but since the middle of the fic but now ...
| Guest chapter 46 . 4/8
| Newbie1104 chapter 5 . 3/29
Sorry for going back on my words so soon but I just couldn't continue anymore. An entire chapter just for a brief introduction of the house and helping two house elves? Too drawn out. Not to mention the inconsistency.
| Newbie1104 chapter 4 . 3/29
Well to be honest I found this story through Vance McGill's story of the same name. And based on what he said, this one was the original, so I decided to try it out.
I can guess the plot is quite similar at first, so I have no problem with that, I kind of liked it even.
However, in this chapter specifically, I cringed so hard reading some of the dialogues. Swearing I don't mind (but it was a bit jarring seeing how often you used them), but the part between the Grangers and Harry at the platform...ugh... What kind of father asked a boy in the middle of a crowded platform, with his daughter present, if he had shagged (actual word here) her or not? Seriously? Who asked a stranger that on their first meeting in a public place? And the asker was the Grangers at that, who were supposed to be well educated and had good manner. All in all, it was too crude and unnatural.
Second of all, Harry cried way too easily. He was a private person with a temper toward those did harm to his friends. Otherwise, It wasn't easy for him to display emotions like that, especially in front of people whom he just met for the first time (okay maybe second, they met once in the summer before second year, but I guess you got that wrong too since you wrote as if that was their first meeting, or it was just part of the AU). To sum it up, that was an abrupt OOC with no explanation, which was hard for me to accept. I literally went WTH when I read him crying...
Thirdly, Harry and Hermione threw away the years long friendship with Ron waayyyyy too easily and quickly. I saw that they'd already pushed Ron away since Hermione was still in the Hospital Wing, which was just a few days after Ron fought side by side with them in the Ministry. Really? I thought Harry and Hermione might be much more royal and forgiving than that (not to mention extremely ungrateful: Hey, that dude just risked his life because of my stupidity, so let's dump him aside for his past mistakes and make out with the girl first!). They hadn't even discover his betrayal yet (if there was one). Another abrupt OOC.
At least in those three points, I can see Vance executed them much better that you did. However, as this story's already had over 70 chapters out, I will keep reading and hope that it improve in the future, since the plot was awesome.
And I know this story's most likely dead, but I couldn't help myself from commenting. Sorry about the rant.
| MsQueenWitch chapter 48 . 3/27
okay i;ve been thinking this since I started this yesterday... why the fuc do you have the key every freaking chap... I can understand when new concubines/wifes are added.. if people are stupid then there is no helping.. you have long chapters you don't need the extra wordage for the chapters if fucing stupid.. your word count is wrong cause of this.. your word count is probably half of what is actually recorded bedause of this...
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 76 . 3/26
no... Where is Harry gonna stash a bunch of Giants? Recruits get schooled, all around, 76 chapters invested and it's not finished?
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 74 . 3/26
out of the blue...
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 72 . 3/26
for a simple story, this has more ins and outs than expected. Well plotted and scripted.
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 68 . 3/25
I wonder if magical Ireland could take a position of refusing access to Voldies crew and the dark mark and his supporters simply because they are working against the ministry-that seems legal, and then since they would be set -up, once that is done, just sever relations with magical Britain and work from there. Their border defences would be in place, the floo blocked, and say bye-bye. The Brit army reps could help justify this as removing safe havens for the bad guys and would be working for the queen that way. Then they would leave and Magical Ireland drops the hammer on Magical Britain. What are they gonna do?
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 66 . 3/25
Irish, Orphans, re-pats bonding? the little unspoiled paradise is not gonna be that much longer. Schools, medical facilities, housing, transportation, doubling the population, gotta be paid for and space found someway, somewhere. paying the military, supporting it? Don't want to be in Harry's shoes. Any ICW action on his further demands from the ministry for the damages on the infiltration teams? daddy took it fairly well, but what's he gonna do anyway
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 64 . 3/25
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 63 . 3/25
reckon Harry still has that saving people thing going on... well scripted
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 62 . 3/25
I haven't looked into the histories the author has gone into, and of course, the magical side is a secret so can only be speculation unless the author... but from what I CAN recall of history in the area (and this was studied back in the 60's, he seems to have it pretty down pat. I'm impressed. school sounds very aggressive, hope it works out. Getting overwhelmed by women
| stacygrrl2002 chapter 61 . 3/25
kewl about the flying, still wondering abut the re-pats. Arthur thinks the plane was wonderful, wonder what he's gonna say when he learns Charlie flew over by dragon. Iriish gonna hit the Brits from the other side while Harry kicks butt. Super.