|Reviews for The Harem War|
| CelticKnight2004 chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
I'm sure i would not be the first to point this out :
Its Queen Elizabeth the Second. NOT FIRST. *laughs*
en./wiki/Queen_Elizabeth_II Of course... for you Americans, the wikipedia.
Other than that tiny mistake, which need a good solid slapping if you were British! (I'm Australian). The story is good and well written.
I'm liking the plot and looking forward to the action of a war, and the comeuppance of the Malfoys!
Keep up the good work!
| Elemental Balance chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
I'm liking this. An interesting take on the standard 'slave-girl harem' cliche.
Only one minor note here (and this is because I'm British myself); the current queen is Elizabeth the Second. The First was from the Tudor line, back in the mid 1500's.
Just a minor historical nitpick.
| Panaka chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Late model spitfires had larger fuel supplies and could carry drop tanks. If you have those in Harry's airforce you should be able to get at least a decent combat covarage of southern England and Wales. Especialy if the Pilots go ultra conservative on fuel use on the way in and out. Not the best models to go invading England with from where you are, unless the RAF opens up a field in the South for use by Harry to refuel.
For low altitude combat and ground attack you might be better writing in a squadron of Hawker Tempest aircraft. It's the follow up of the Hawker Typhoon and saw service as a low altitude fighter and a ground attacker. range with two 90 gallon tanks is 1530 nautical miles. It's armed with 4x 20m cannon, up to 2x 10lb bombs and if they got the after war upgrade up to 8x 3in rockets.
The Mossies can go anywhere you need them at speed. Depending on type you can use them as fighters but dedicated fighters would be better. You'll need to decide if you have the glass nosed, gun armed, cannon armed, nightfighter or anti shipping (nose mounted 57mm canon besides 3 50. machineguns) version. For Harry's purpose the gun armed solid nose version would probably work out best.
The Lanc is a heavy bomber. nothing else needs to be said.
From a range point of view it would be best to write in P-51's (B, C or D model), P-38L's or late model P-47's (N or M model) but those are american fighters and while I know the RAF used those I don't know if they used the late war models.
| KashikoiNekoHu chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
I love your 2 chapter updates (even if I'm confused sometimes xD), but there was (or at least I thing there was) a minor glitch: why didn't you let the Royalties sit before Harry was questioned? I mean the others, not just the queen could have asked Harry the "difficult" questions, and it seems a bit awkward to imagine them just looking at each other and so on.. but all this is just my...niggling...or what's the word you use.. :)
| major wallace chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
| romulus lupin chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
The thing I enjoy about your writing (among other things) is that you post updates somewhat regularly. The thing I "hate" about your writing (smirks) is that the chapters end and - while not exactly cliffhangers - still live me hanging and waiting for the next one.
In other words ... I'm envious.
Yours is the kind of writing that I have always wanted to emulate but have been unable to or, at best, come to a pale comparison of. But then again, as a mentor once suggested, 'find someone you want to emulate and strive to match or surpass him or her. You may not achieve what that person did - but at least, you're aiming higher than what you would normally go for."
Which is, ultimately, what I totally enjoy about your stories.
They are among the best I've read (fanfiction or 'real world' fiction) - in terms of story, concept, approach and narrative style. (Although it may be a bit dull and boring, especially when information is being relayed, everything fits together like a precision watch - and works together like a well-oiled machine.
Plus the fact that your stories both go into a lot of depth as well as being extremely thought-provoking.
I must admit that my eyebrows were raised to the ceiling when this was posted - another 'harem' story? Sure, I love reading smut (I think I mentioned this already in a previous review) but there has to be something more than the smut to keep me interested. After all, how many ways can one describe the physical and emotional joining of the act?
And again, this has that 'something more' - and much more.
First is the moral aspect of the tale - which again, goes beyond the merely 'moral'. There is the logical reasoning behind the 'system' (the need to preserve both lineage and the magic) as well as the original moral imperatives behind the bonds ... as well as the reasoning behind its perversion. Juxtapose this with Harry and Hermione's moral codes - true, there is Hermione's slutty smutty nature (as I recall somewhere, Hermione's been called the 'slut' of the Potterverse) and yet, this is given play or allowed to play out because the situation and the circumstances call for it.
True, they both have their fantasies - but it is also quite clear that the fantasies would have remained that way if, as said, the circumstances and situation do not call for it or allowed for it to happen. Which leads to the second great point about your stories - the narrative (and the situations portrayed) not only 'allow' for it - it simply has to happen because there are no other real options.
Harry, Hermione and everyone else may be out of character here but their being OOC 'fits', for lack of a better word. They react to the situation and circumstances presented to them but in doing so, they do not stray far from the moral codes which define them (or which we, the readers, have imbued in them) and we find ourselves accepting them because we can sympathize and understand them.
I cannot help but think of Hermione's attitude to the 'harem'. A lesser writer would have her going gaga over the possibility of having multiple partners or even the chance to play dominatrix ... in this tale, they are a fringe benefit of the need to support Harry's 'saving people thing' which she, herself, has in spades. She wants the harem not because of the chance to play with a multitude or range of boobs, assess or pussies - but because the alternative is morally repugnant and ethically unacceptable.
Which, again, lifts the tale from the mundane and ordinary to something extraordinary.
And now, a few questions and thoughts (some of which should have been raised earlier but better late than never) ...
One, rather surprising that the Charenwellians haven't made the conceptual leap of female pilots ... or is it female pilots in combat? As I recall from somewhere, the Brits and Americans had female pilots in War II although this was more to ferry planes across the Atlantic or around their bases than being engaged in actual combat operations. Harry's grandfather should have met these women ... unless he (and most other Charenwellians) haven't yet heard of women's lib and the burn the bra movement?
How will they react to Harry's idea of women on the front lines, I wonder? Of course, given that Harry's Harem will be right there ...
Which leads me to another tangent, recalling one of the advantages of the bond - being able to 'travel' or 'shift' from place to place through a means which is not apparition. Might prove to be a major advantage in the event of a bailout from a disabled aircraft ... no need for SAR even.
Anyway ... second point. We haven't seen much in the case of Voldemort and his reactions to events. Last we heard, he was in a magical coma (has he woken up yet?) when Harry and Hermione bonded and his horcruxes were destroyed ... wonder what his reactions will be now that his finances have been jeopardized and his Inner Circle (except for Bella) still in gaol?
Dumbledore had thought, during the will reading, that Harry's actions will invite major retaliation from Voldemort but against who? The Ministry and the British wizarding population? This plays right into Harry's hands - it is his plan, after all, to allow the Brits to stew in their juices for a bit until 'help' from any side (or from Harry) is something they'll be screaming for - but with Harry holding the cards, they'll have to give in to what he wants or let themselves be buggered by Voldemort.
Unless Dumbledore can point or redirect Voldemort against Harry and Charenwell? Or will we be looking at an alliance between the two to take down Charenwell - if they can find it, that is, on the principle of 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'?
Or will Dumbledore 'suggest' an attack on the muggles to draw Harry out? Or will Dumbledore 'stake out' Ron or Arthur in order to draw Harry out?
On the other hand, if he susses out that Harry is behind the buyout of the Muggle-born concubines ... I can just imagine him asking Snape, Mundungus, Dawlish, Elphias Doge and others to polyjuice themselves as the potential concubines and send them to Charenwell ... oh. The wards prevent polyjuice. Ops.
And finally ... a point of interest to me. When the DEs attacked Luna, they simply stunned her and 'left' her behind before attacking her house and killing ol' Xeno ... why stun her? Why not kill her? Plans for her to be the centre of entertainment, perhaps? The interesting or intriguing thing is that Mad-Eye mentioned something about a 'Ministry spy' in Voldemort's ranks ... was this the one who stunned Luna and then got killed by her Dad or did he or she escape?
That's all for now ... and am looking forward in eager anticipation for more.
| pfeil chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Our first-person plural slips at times.
| Tentrees chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Loved the Chappie!
Great Background build up for the Charwellian point of view about magic and technology. Loved the backstory lesson from their point of view. Wonder if the Queen could use a few Briefing books on the backstory from their pint of view. Not the purried watered mush that Dumbles and the Ministry are on about feeding her. Poor Harry is going to have too explain the backstory to the Queen now.
Wonder how she'll react when she finds out his long term plans for Magical Great Britain. A full-up magical Civil War with Armies and bombs isn't something she would want to happen but could let happen to get the current leadership out of control in magical Britain. After all the magicals havn't kept her informed of anything and this gives her plausable deniability. Especially using the dated equipment.
'The RAF is not using suchdated platforms' we don't even have thatmany in the meuseums and private collections.
THe magical world is wide open for a airborne blitz. They just don't know it!
Loved the thought of Ginney's revenge! Hope Arthur has ditched her by Christmas and comes over to Harry's side. He would be a loving Grandfather and a great help with the horde. Unless he goes runningfor the hills when Ginney pops of a set of Triplets.
Wonder how Harry and Dudley will get along?
| PeterJAC chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
It almost seems mean to make Harry explain Consort & Concubine bonds to The Queen. I look forward to the next meeting between Harry and Dudley!
| Tentrees chapter 36 . 1/27/2010
Duddlys best move would be to say nothingtohis parents. Unless he has to talk to the plant manager there is no rson for Harry and them to ever meet.
Dudly and Clara getting together is classic kick Vernon in the bits revenge. His boy dating a witch.
Loved Clara's point of view about life in Charenwell and magics uses and limitations.
Loved the flying school and the base. Looks like Harry is thinking the RDCAF needs to be more than a side show and also needs to have real teeth. Love to see how the how that turns out.
| ladysavay chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Glad as always when you update but I felt rather jarred at the end of this chpater. It stopped in mid coversation with Quen! I mean, can't they behead at the Tower of London for that?
| Lientjuhh chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
I like it.. Well done.. :)
| Zicou chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Great chapters :)
I can't wait for the auction, to see the face of all those who wanted to buy slaves :)
| BioHazard82 chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
Another great chapter.
| Slytherin66 chapter 37 . 1/27/2010
I liked Ginny’s idea of revenge on her mother, it is good Cissy is being looked after. Nice way to end the chapter I look forward to the next.