|Reviews for The Final Testament of Phoenix King Ozai|
| Nikolai22 chapter 5 . 9/10
The only part that absolutely sucked was everytime you had someone say Banzai...this is avatar not Japan have them say Long live the fire lord or something avatar related Banzai had me snap to attention like "wtf" breaking the connection to the story but other than that it was well done
| Lord L.H.J chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
| underoriginal chapter 4 . 1/2/2012
I think this highlights the important parts of the series and Ozai's views pretty well, but I'd like to get a little more info on Ozai's thoughts during his little face off with Zuko during the eclipse. You seem to focus more on what he does, which anyone reading the testimony could have found out from another source, than on what he thinks, which is information that only Ozai would be able to give.
I like how even after everything there are still shades of the arrogant Phoenix King Ozai left. I will now go see if you have any other fics that may interest me.
On a completely random note, I love that you have a name for the capital.
| Green-Raincoat chapter 5 . 9/7/2011
Hey there! I'd like to first thank you again for linking me to this fic! I really enjoyed the story; you have a strong story-telling ability and the concept behind this was very original in the ATLA fanfiction vernacular (as far as I'm concerned). The execution of the story itself was also well done, but there were a few things that I would like to nitpick as you invited your readers to do in the first chapter. ;)
The biggest thing for me was your tenses. You weren't always consistent with them and consistently employed the wrong ones in the wrong situations. So, just be careful with them and make sure to read over what you've written every once in a while as you're going along.
On a similar note there were more than a few occasions in which you mixed up the uses of "on" versus "in", so be sure to watch for this distinction as well.
Also, once in a while your sentences ended a little awkwardly.
I really feel that with your writing abilities these are all things that can be fixed with proof-reading or, if you find it difficult to do proof-reading yourself, maybe ask someone else to do it for you? I also advocate reading your work out loud to yourself to hear when sentences are awkward, or even what tense would make a sentence more correct, etc etc.
All in all I really enjoyed the story, and thought that it was well done, but those are just a few suggestions that I think would really improve everything. :)
| BulletProof Daze chapter 5 . 3/14/2011
I liked this story alot, I always wondered what could have possibly be going through Ozai's head when he committed all of those crimes. You did a great job developing his character. Keep up the great work.
| piratechicka chapter 5 . 1/16/2011
Great story! I throughly enjoyed every moment of reading this, and I thought you did a wonderful job at keeping everyone true to their character! No one felt out of character, and as Ozai talked I could actually hear his voice speaking the words! Great job again!
| angel chapter 3 . 1/3/2011
lol i do remeber that line from hp ozai is truly evil good work
| sakurazukamori8 chapter 5 . 12/6/2010
I agree with "bluelion" about the "Banzai" word.
Banzai is the word to mean : "We get it", or "we'll win". It's not at all the same same meaning that "Heil".
And Japonese still use it in their common language.
| BlueLion chapter 3 . 12/6/2010
Hmm, I don't see the parallels between "Sieg Heil" and "Banzai" you're describing. You're comparing two phrases that aren't as similar as you make them appear - I recommend en. wikipedia wiki/Ten_thousand_years for reference ...
| Black391 chapter 5 . 12/6/2010
OMG I loved it. Yeah I could sense the Green Mile infulence on this...this was so good and very heavy if you get what I mean.
That was really deep! loved it!
| Alabaster86 chapter 5 . 12/6/2010
Nice job, Lionheart.
That's the way I see Ozai going too, full of himself until the end and unafraid, disdainful of anyone showing any kind of feeling.
You've made a sort of bland character come to life.
| sakurazukamori8 chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
Very Nice ending.
But don"t forget : you can kill man not Ideas.
We have to be careful to not let another tragedy happened. And It's the very difficult part of this story.
| Summer Sweetheart chapter 5 . 12/5/2010
Wow. For a fic like this, it had a good ending. You know I'm not into these type of things. Just read this as a favor to you (not that I regret reading this). Kinda sad and morbid, but good nonetheless. Can't wait to read more from you (possibly a more light-hearted fic... or Kataang! You know I like Kataang!) Anyway, talk to you later. Less than three.
| BlueLion chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
There are some content errors in here:
First, Ozai didn't wage war against the airbenders, they were already extinct when he took over government.
Second, neither did he initially wage war against the earth kingdom, at the time he got to reign the fire nation, he acquired leadership of a nation already in the state of war. I'm not sure the same can be said of the water tribes though, but I tend to believe that Ozai's father Azulon also opened that front.
I also miss charges against General Iroh who played a pivotal role in the war against the earth kingdom of Ba Sing Se.
Taking all that into account, categories one and two crumble down.
hehe, I like to play the advocatus diaboli!
| Summer Sweetheart chapter 4 . 12/5/2010
Wow. Nice ending! Aside from some typos, that was very good. Though about Azula executing a few Kyoshi Warriors, I don't think any of them died. They looked like a full group when they got back together. Just saying. ~_ Anyway, can't wait till the next chapter! Less than three!