|Reviews for Brother|
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/13/2017
This has been up for ages bit please still update if you can
| BetaWolfSis chapter 3 . 9/6/2014
Hug from Hex is ze bezt. Oh my god what happened to him is terrible... But your fanfic is rly well written! Oh please continue it!
| Sukuangtou chapter 3 . 8/29/2012
Awww, my poor little Hex *Grabs him* I'll protect you!
| lepidopteran chapter 3 . 2/15/2010
Poor Hex! Though this is all terribly sad, you managed to keep the famous Alpha Force lightheartedness that I'm so fond of. I particularly giggled at this line:
"Heck, I doubted we’d make it to the hospital in eleven pieces."
I also loved the part with Alex showing his ID. Classic.
I can't wait to read more!
| be-nice-to-nerds chapter 3 . 1/17/2010
This is so sad...
Short, but good. I liked how you didn't make Paulo's english perfect - it's improved a lot by Untouchable but still probably wouldn't be as brilliant as the others' is. Only one nag - didn't you say they were in London in the previous chapter? Or at least that Hex was?
On another note, always gald to see people using Ben, even if it is to kill him off... ;)
Keep it up
| be-nice-to-nerds chapter 2 . 1/16/2010
So I'm away for a week, and I find out that there's more action in the Alpha Force fandom than there's been for months. Murphy's law, I guess.
This is a really promising and exciting fic which I can't wait to see more of. You managed to get the character interaction pretty good, and I'd love to find out more about Hex's family.
It's a nice combination of action and the AF humour, which is really good. Though a bit more description would be nice, and maybe slightly longer chapters.
This is a good first (second, whatever - you should get what I mean :)) fic. Keep writing, and feel free to pop over to the forums.
| spinkle22 chapter 2 . 1/7/2010
Wow, OK! Poor Hex, for starters! So I enjoyed this; I loved the friendly teasing between the team about who likes who/etc. There are one or two things I picked up on. Firstly, I'm aching for a little more description. You said 'The car stopped and a man led them inside.' Inside where? You say there was a conference room, but give us a bit of information about what it's like, just so the story isn't action-action-action. Not that actions a bad thing ;-) Also, this seemed a little far fetched: 'Hex is in hospital with 15 gunshot wounds.” “It was nothing too serious.” ...15 gunshot wounds sounds pretty serious to me, considering most people die from one. Anyway, I'm nitpicking. Well done! It was a good chapter, and I'm glad the boldness has gone :-)
| emmadactryl chapter 2 . 1/7/2010
Oh dear! Poor Hex :( I'd like to invite you to join the "We love to torture Hex because he's amazingly cool" club XD Pretty much everyone in this fandom is a member. Confession: I *love* twists and unexpected aspects to a plot; your fic has just taken on a whole new level of "yay!" for me now. Also, I usually have Hex as the pathetic driver, so it's nice to see Alex have a shot at that role. Very happy on the super quick update and no need to apologise for the bold; I have issues with the document uploader *all* the time. Now even more excited to see where this is going.
| emmadactryl chapter 1 . 1/6/2010
First I must do the compulsory "WELCOME" and let you know that you should drop by the forums. It's just a little ritual I seem to do with every new person XD
An interesting start and an interesting take on the situation. One small, teeny little complaint is the whole chapter being bolded; it's a bit annoying, to be blunt :) Stepping away from that, though, I enjoy reading another first person fic. I think you've found Alex's voice quite well here. There are a few mistakes with grammar, tense and whatnot, so just be aware of that with the following chapters. I'm intrigued as to where this shall head, elated we have another AF fic up, and eager for an update.
| spinkle22 chapter 1 . 1/6/2010
Ooh! Well I am intruiged. I LOVE Hex-centric fics. That aside, I'll try to sumbit an unbiased review :-P I like your POV; coming from Alex, it's very interesting and we get to see a different side of things. And I'm looking forward to the next chapters, where we'll get to see the story from the others' views. I would suggest you double check your chapters before you post them. There were a few errors, nothing major, just something I picked up on. You could always look into getting a beta just to check things over for you before you post a chapter. I have to say, I loved Paulo in this, too. At first he's all concerned, he's checking over Alex to make sure he's OK, and then the big friendly guy we all know and love comes bouncing back with his grin. I can't wait for the next update.
And I'm glad this is set after Untouchable; I always wished Chris Ryan continued a bit further :-)