|Reviews for Right of Conscription|
| kev chapter 1 . 12/14/2013
now where are the others.
| Telelli chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
Also, I loved the Molly Weasley quote.
| Beocidas chapter 1 . 12/16/2010
Jowan/Amell, -because they're cute together
Brosca/Tabris, -interesting with a warrior and an assassin and the dwarf and elf culture clash
Aeducan/Ser Cauthrien (if you recruit him Gorim if not),
Leliana/Zevran -too fun, loads of humour potential since both are snarky people, and Mahariel/Tamlen
| 2278084 chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
whaa. I hope that you might one day continue this if only so I could find out how you plan on working everything in. (As well as how you'd have Ser Cauthrien - sldfkjslkfj YES! - conscripted.) : )
| A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA- Fairy chapter 1 . 4/22/2010
no! dont conscript Cauthrien... the stupid cow... i hate her... i chopped off her head and then before the Landsmeet she popped up again! to try and kill me again! i mean! GAH! and aww... i was kinda hoping for a female Surana who would be in a relationship with Zevran and then the female Tabris would be in a relationship with male Mahariel... i like that couple a lot, and i dont know why! :) this is a good first chapter, please continue!
| Menamebephil chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Everybody loves gratuitous Harry Potter quotes. Well, I do, anyway.
You know, there is something that usually repels me from Dragon Age fanfic ("Usually". Hah. I only finished the game about two weeks ago). The thing is, I liked "my" Warden. I liked him a lot. And any fanfic featuring a Warden that wasn't him would seem... off.
But. You seem to have him in your roster. Male Elf Mage that falls for Morrigan. Now if only he were an Arcane Warrior as well as a shapeshifter we would be in business. Of course he'd have to be a total sap as well, and fall in love with Morrigan through a combination of general good-naturedness and hopeless naivete, but that remains to be seen. Of course he would have to have a dark brown ponytail too. And frankly gigantic ears.
(Arcane Warriors are pretty cool, you know. They're sort of like jedi or something. I'm not hinting or anything. I'm just saying. Oh wait you've already got an AW. I missed that first time around. Dang.)
LOOK AT ME TALK ABOUT MYSELF. I THINK I SHALL DO IT SOME MORE.
Also I actually had a similar idea to this fic about a week ago- recruiting all the Wardens. I thought the idea was unworkable, at least with my modest skill. But you seem (so far, it's only chapter one after all) to be able to pull it off. I hope you do.
Anyway, I think my review here is overlong and insubstantial, but I'm wracking my brain for something intelligent to say. I liked this chapter, it worked well as a character-building excersise, but that's all I can really comment on right now, what with this being basically a novelisation of the Human Noble origin.
I promise I will be more coherent next chapter. Or at least briefer.
| Merithea chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
I'm just curious, what happened? I just came across this story, it looks like it was set up to run further...?
| TK Grimm chapter 1 . 1/14/2010
Wow, that was great! I love how much you added to the human noble origin, and I'm so excited you're going to add a bit of the other origins in as well. You really captured the love with the Cousland family, and I adored it very much. I have to say, though, the Dalish Elf origin is my favorite, so I'm really looking forward to when you write her in.
On that note, I like all of the pairings you picked out. The Brosca/Leliana is the only one I've never considered before, but it should be interesting. Tabris and Zevran definitely - they share a common bond with their past, in a way. Alistair and Cousland is really a given, I agree. Mahariel/Tamlen and Aeducan/Gorim is just fate. Enough said - those two were meant to be.
Oh, actually, I rather like Ser Cauthrien. I read her background in the codex, and when we spoke to her before the landsmeet, I found her to be a very strong, honorable woman who wants the best for her country. I have a great respect for her, and would be very interested to see you conscript her.
I for one am looking forward to your ten plus pages of party banter! Those are some of my favorite moments, but I also look forward to the actual adventure, too. I really enjoy your style - it's got good detail, but not enough to make my eyes cross.
I really look forward to an update! Good luck!
| Cupcake Heart chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
Amell/Cullen forever! Banter... after/before chapters?
Good idea, I'm going to be keeping an eye on this.
| Isobel Kelte chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
I am really excited about this story! Hurray!
As for the shipping, I cast a great big vote for Jowan/Amell (BEST EVER). I'm also fond of Aeducan/Gorim.
Can't wait to see more!
| Trayus chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
Molly Weasley reference ftw
| XxXTwilight-SinXxX chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
I love how you've written Elissa. She's actually how I pictured her when I played the game. I can't wait to read more of this.
| truthrowan chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
Of course, it's Molly Weasley, from HP:Ghostly Hallows, as she battled Bellatrix! Love your fic, am looking forward to seeing how you work in all the orgins.
| MyrmeenLhal chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
A strong start for an interesting series concept. You did a good job fleshing out the Cousland family. I loved Eleanor saving Elissa from imminent rape (go go action mother!). I loved the interplay between Fergus and Elissa during the fight scene at the start. Bryce's pride in his children was well done too.
Unfortunately, there were a few places where I was clenching my teeth and wincing at your wording. The two most glaring examples - Elissa wipes her eyes on Ser Gilmore's "chest metal"! Umm, no. Maybe she wipes her eyes with her hand, like the rest of us mortals. Metal in eye/on eye equals owies!
Bryce Cousland laying in a pile of blood? I think you meant pool of blood (I'm guessing that may well have been a typo).
Oh and another word based issue... The use of the word "Mom". That's a fairly modern word, and quite specific to North America (most of the rest of the English speaking world uses Mum). It jarred me every time I read it.
Take care that Elissa doesn't turn into a Mary Sue. She has the makings of one - being blonde, the most beautiful woman in Ferelden, knows how to wrap people around her little finger, everyone loves her etc. A single mention of arrogance is not enough to tone it down either. She should have other flaws too, as she is (or should be) only human. ;)
Also, another criticism of your Elissa - she screams. If she's a rogue or a scout (someone who relies on stealth to get things done), as implied in the story, the inclination to scream at the first sign of danger (or when surprised) is something that would have been trained out of her. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that that inclination would be trained out of ANY fighting person, warrior or rogue or war mage.
Well, that's my piece. I look forward to seeing the next part. :)
| Cloaked-Kelpie chapter 1 . 1/6/2010
Mahariel should be a girl~
Nice story, I'm looking forward to when Zevran shows up, if only because I'm a fangirl of his. Anyways...
Looking forward to the next chapter. (So long..D:)