|Reviews for Paying Penance|
| idkimcanadian chapter 7 . 11/22/2014
I hate the pov switch and why did you skip three years ahead? I want to know what happened in those three years and why bring the cullen in it? Or there pov? I don't care about them. Im here to read about the OTP, David and Jane.
| sephchipmunk chapter 28 . 7/5/2014
more give me more NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
| sephchipmunk chapter 10 . 7/5/2014
i would think that jane would act tsundere when in love
| MariamneMANIA chapter 28 . 1/13/2014
What would Jane and David do to you after one year and a half?
Please, please update! :) Your story is sooo good.
| Madmaxi chapter 28 . 2/24/2013
Wow! I've gotta say...this story is a welcome departure from the norm! With such an intriguing plot and well thought out characters, I am enjoying every second reading it! Can't wait for more. Hope David and Jane show up soon to help you get your a$$ back in gear! It's past time for a new chapter sir! Perhaps this time they will carry a blowtorch? In any case, well done!
| JESUSSAYSNO chapter 10 . 2/10/2013
Sorry, derped and hit post. Stupid phone...
But don't he me wrong, the first couple chapters were great. It displayed great emotion and you really felt for David and his hardships.
But the plot didn't leave me guessing once the timeskip happened. I can see this only going in one direction; a war with the Volturi, having them being the standard black and white villan.
Your OC was alright, as most male OCs are. No need for over detailing on hair or body type. But this might just be your writing style. I got a good picture from him, but that's mainly because I made him David Mason from Black Ops 2. He fit the bill, and they both had the same first name.
Your writing is good, but I can't get behind the mentality of it. I'm sure most readers in this catagory would enjoy this, but not I. By all means, this is just my personal opinion, and you should not take it to heart, as I am the outlier in this section, dispising fluffy romance, vampires that don't act like vampires, and female main protagonists. By all means, keep writing, dispite my gripes, this is one of the better Twilight stories I've read.
| JESUSSAYSNO chapter 9 . 2/9/2013
As much as I can say I enjoyed the first couple chapters, I'm finding it difacult to keep myself engaged in the story.
At first, I saw a great story that had mystery, suspense, violence, and overall enjoyability. This quickly left after the extremely abrupt and story ruining time skip.
I honestly don't know if you are correct about the degree thing, but I feel as if it was an excuse to send your character to school, just to give a familiar and comfortable setting for yourself to write in, dispite the fact that it completely ruins the feeling you have set up.
The romance felt extremelly rushed, even without the timeskip. It could have been made better by maybe making Jane question her feelings, denial, and rage when she realized what she felt.
I was honestly expecting this story to have guns, violence, blood, guerrilla warfare, vampires, and a dark, somewhat corrupted romance on the side. I was hoping for to much.
Not only that, but you bring in the bloody Cullens. The most disfunctional and morally fucked up family ever created. And they clearly aren't the antagonists, so I can't say I enjoyed you throwing them into the mix.
Another thing. Why would Jane go vegan? There is absolutely no reson for it to happen. David himself said he didn't mind her drinking from humans. There is not enough research put into it to say that it really erects the mental state, if anything, accepting the fact that you are a creature that survives on death and embracing it would make you a great deal more mentally stable than trying to deny it, and fall into a deep post manslaughter type depression when you loose your bearings and kill someone.
| justanotherdude chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
please please please...continue this story i have spent a very long trying to find a good "jane" fiction
| Sara chapter 28 . 1/15/2013
Awseome , how the next ?
| jelci chapter 28 . 12/31/2012
Have you thought about putting Alec and Tanya together?.. It could be interesting! Or what if Janes more 'conservative' brother finds out what it's like to fall for a human himself? Perhaps Rebecca is single? I love your story so please please update! Thank you!
| Nomore1234 chapter 28 . 8/22/2012
I'm curious on who else has left.
| Angel of the Night Watchers chapter 28 . 7/30/2012
Great, great chapter! I can't wait to see where you go with this
| Pixie2804 chapter 28 . 7/20/2012
Yay you updated! Great chapter, and please update!
| ColdOnePaul chapter 28 . 7/19/2012
Great chapter! Please shoot us another chapter soon :)
Salem sounds uber-creepy and downright dangerous. I hope he is dealt with decisively.
When will David be turned?
| LordXeenTheGreat chapter 28 . 7/19/2012
Awesome Chapter...love teh POV