Reviews for Damned Bloody Assassins
Dav1d chapter 8 . 2/1/2011
Thoroughly enjoyable so far, well within the genre and plausible. Nice plot development and nothing overdone so far. Refreshingly good spelling and grammar. Several opportunities for a good twist to surprise the reader. Am looking forward to the next installment(s). Good character development without over embellishment. Keep going :-)
The History Buff chapter 8 . 1/21/2011
As a Discworld fan, I must say that I am impressed. While the style of the writing is definitly unique, it has certain pratchet-esque qualitys. Some things to note. The footnotes, while very reveiling in some of the backround and humour of the story, get a bit tiresome after a while. Pratchet usualy only put a few footnotes in his novels, and they tend to be spred out. While it works sometimes, it is always best to do subtext in moderation, lest it becomes integral to the plot. Commander Vimes in this story, seems to be very open with his opinions, rather than keeping his thoughts to only a selcet few officers. This may be due to his stress, or possably it is a character devolpment that has changed since 'Thud!' I remember, from past chapters, the interactions between Colon and Nobbs. I wish to see if that minor conflict was ever resolved. Other than that, please keep up the good work. It is hard to find active stories these days, and I feel that my time is waisted when I review dead Fics. All in all, a very strong story with an interesting plot. I can hardly wait for the next update.


The History Buff.
ozymandius the albatross chapter 8 . 1/12/2011
See I told you I'd read it :)

Very good as always: loved the various metaphors and especially the bit where Vimes gets back to the yard. Keep up the good work :)


mischieflover chapter 8 . 12/31/2010
Oh dear. Someone can see Death, but he's not dead, a wizard, or a cat? That's interesting. He sounds like he's a werewolf, but I'm gonna stop my guessing right there before I look like an idiot :)

I love your footnotes. I just blazed through two of my favorite Pratchett books and then reading this is that much more enjoyable! Footnotes make the world go 'round ;)

Nice chapter, and I hope more is on the way!

mischieflover chapter 7 . 10/25/2010
Nice chapter! I could have sworn that I've been reviewing, but I guess I haven't, so many apologies! I usually am really good with that.

Can't wait to see what's next!

randomer chapter 6 . 9/16/2010
love this story.

also love being the authors BF. now i get to go read chapter 7 mwahahahaha!
Ella Greggs chapter 6 . 8/22/2010
I read the whole story over again leading up to this chapter so I'd come to this chapter with the rest still fresh, but my head is nevertheless swimming with the ever-growing list of physically and emotionally maimed characters. To which we add another practicioner of precognition, newly minted Lance Constable Sadik, wearing "the faintly glazed look of déjà vu sufferers everywhere." Very much enjoyed the conversation between Andrei and Mrs. Cake (who doesn't like a nice confusing chat with Mrs. Cake?). And Andrei shares a certain lupine connection with Angua, apparently. So the fellow lying dead in the King's Way alley with a belly wound, that was the Bastard's latest victim, yes? And was it the discovery of this latest victim that caused Vimes' latest "Damn"? But where is Biondi? Did Vimes actually throw him in jail for trying to help? I confess to feeling like there are just too many people in this story and so having trouble keeping track of their comings and goings, and I'm hoping it won't be too long before all the different strands start coming together. Which means I'm looking forward to chapter 7 being posted soon.

In terms of writing technique, very much enjoyed watching Dawn make her rounds about the city, with varying results. And also really liked how you portrayed moonlight in the previous chapter as a pitiless mistress. My favorite Pratchettesque moment in this chapter was probably "Assassins had far too much class to bustle. But it was busy in a way that preserved the same subtle distance from bustle as, say, an alcoholic did from a drunkard." Not sure what it means, but it sounds very clever!
Katamabob chapter 6 . 8/20/2010
The writing is, as usual, great and the footnotes incredibly Pratchett-esque :D I love the description of the light creeping across Ankh-Morpork, really beautiful. But maybe it's because I haven't read this in a while, but I'm slightly confused by the plot, especially since I rather forget who some of these characters are, and if they've been mentioned before. I read back over the last chapter too, but remain a little confused. Who is Andrei again? And is Sergeant von Uberwald Sally, promoted and living with Mrs Cake, or Angua being referred to as 'von Uberwald'?

Anyway, interested to see what happens next, especially for the sake of understanding XD Your descriptions were lovely, and the plot is incredibly intriguing (if to the point of slight confusion).

Ella Greggs chapter 5 . 6/23/2010
I enjoyed Biondi's exchange with Vimes - Biondi winding him up more and more with his oh-so-innocent references to all those titles Vimes dispises. Is this Andrei of Maskerade, or another Andrei? Who is the young man in the alley, lost in a dream? I confess to getting more than a little confused at this point with all the characters we've met, particularly what they are all doing in the same story. I smiled at 'Of course, Your Blackboard-Monitorship,' and really liked "It seemed there was a waiting list for doorways." Very clever and Pratchett-worthy.

Oh, meant to say earlier that it was nice to see Brick and know that between Detritus and Carrot he'll turn out okay.
Ella Greggs chapter 4 . 6/19/2010
So your warning suggested this chapter was less harrowing than the last. Not sure I agree with that assessment - the whole attacking Biondi's family scene was pretty you put in some much needed humor to lighten the rest of the piece. I'm guessing those thugs come back into the mix somehow.

Laughed out loud at the line 'My parents were married, Fred' and 'Oh go put your dress on, Nobby!' And I loved your point #4 after Sally's last plea to Angua. And then enter Ankh Morpork's favorite talking dog, yes?

BTW, I think you're missing your footnote 5 for "Borogravian Cent."
Ella Greggs chapter 3 . 6/19/2010
Wow! Very dark, vivid and upsetting final vignette, and a very interesting contrast to the sweet interlude between Vimes and young Sam. So I take it Vetinari told Carrot to fetch Sam to distract Vimes from the case so he wouldn't embarrass himself further? I enjoyed Vimes' inner monologue about bloody this and bloody that. And also his noticing "how can a knock" be apologetic, and yet this one was. Again, very Pratchett-esque and also very Vimes. As to the boy, at this point we've seen a few boys from the Shades, and I'm not clear as to whether they are all the same boy or not. Something that will become clear as I read along? Maybe?

Stupid (or should I say 'bloody stupid') title suggestion #3: "Damned Bloody Assasins!"
Ella Greggs chapter 2 . 6/19/2010
Very curious to see where all thosse little glimpses of life in the Shades are leading us, although, given the chapter title, perhaps they are leading us nowhere. Somehow I doubt that, though... Enjoyed the comparison of Angua in wolf form to all other canines, noting that she would make the most well-bred champion look like he would, if all gussied up, "might just aspire to be the sort of puppy who is given away 'free to good home'. Your Vimes seemed a bit off to me, though. Of course Vimes would go spare to hear that an Assasin is trying to solve his case, but Vimes has more self-possession than to just start shouting 'arrest him.' His is a more quiet, menacing anger. On the flip side, my impression is that Downey has less self-possession than you've indicated, and that Vimes always throws Downey off his game. So I think he'd have been less smooth and more openly hostile with Vimes.

Stupid title suggestion #1 - "Sherlock Vimes and Dr. Assasin"

Stupid title suggestion #2 - "Elementary, my dear Vimes."

(I'll try to come up with other stupid title suggestions as I read on)
Ella Greggs chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
Great start, lots of sly Pratchett-style humour, particularly explaining how "The Bastard" got his moniker. And I can imagine the meeting between Vimes, Vetinary and Downey perfectly based on how you wrote it. Favorite line: Vimes "was beginning to suspect that the man was evading justice purely to annoy him." I also really liked how you described the boy at the start, noting that he was quite unremarkable to everyone around him, and then said "But we've noticed him." Again, very Pratchett-esque, and I mean that as high praise.
Katamabob chapter 5 . 6/8/2010
This story is very well written, very intriguing and exciting. I'd love to know what happens _ I am getting slightly confused, however, by all the characters. Is Bioci the same as the boy who watched his sister get killed? And who is Andrei? Is he by any chance the same as Andrei in Maskerade, or completely different?

Love it! Please continue _

gingerbread chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
EK FEED ME MORE! let me know when more is posted? :D :D :D :D yr awesome!
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