|Reviews for Ghost Raised|
| gamerjamc chapter 7 . 4/21/2011
good story are you planning in continue?
| Nahilius Ocran Viet Artur chapter 7 . 10/12/2010
interesting story so far. gonna mark this one as i want to see how it progresses
| Orchamus chapter 7 . 9/22/2010
Tsurara is the definition of MILF.
| Ryoko-rei chapter 7 . 9/22/2010
question the crossover with rorsario vampier is it for the manga or anima?
| Dumbledork chapter 7 . 9/22/2010
I like the backstory. Quite interesting.
| OBSERVER01 chapter 7 . 9/21/2010
| Dark Vizard447 chapter 6 . 9/8/2010
| alichi chapter 6 . 6/27/2010
Truly, there are too few fics with a well adjusted Ranma when it comes to social interaction and his curse.
Btw, I might have missed it in the earlier chapters but since when was Ranma part ghost? Not that it makes much of a difference.
Love the overall setup of all the characters. Really looking forward to see where things will go.
Eagerly waiting for the next chapter.
| Blackdex chapter 6 . 5/29/2010
| Blackdex chapter 1 . 5/29/2010
whoops, wrong ghost alchemist. hehe, should have checked the crossover tag, oh well, its still good, and i liked the game, so, tally ho and onward i go. ciao
| Orchamus chapter 6 . 4/27/2010
This is pretty good, but could use more alchemical practice.
| Orchamus chapter 2 . 4/27/2010
This is pretty cool, but I hope your not implying he has as serious as a canon type story problem with his curse.
| Necratoid chapter 6 . 4/26/2010
Okay, I've waited a few days to let my thoughts settle on this one. So here is a review by someone trying to help.
1) This entire thing comes across as part two in a series. So far everything really intresting occured in the unwritten part one. As a consequence most of the plot points come across as just plain shallow. Things like the rich backstory of Pamela Ibis that is clearly in your head and important to understanding things... and is not available.
Frankly, what happens off screen is far more intresting than what occures on screen. This is again blatant with 'Ranma' and his wanted romantic intrests. So far, outside a mention of letters, there entire relationship could be nothing more that the result of 'Ranma' lacing the paper he wrote those letters on with that love potion, the one Jess found, as the liquid part of the Alchemy of his handmade personal stock of zettel. This is supported by:
2) 'Ranma', note the air quotes. You keep telling me its Ranma and how awesome he is... and showing me a spoiled, rich boy with a bag of grendes and a unrevocable liscense to use them. Then you tossed in Roxas and I thought, 'Oh, imprinting on his new father figure, I guess'. However, I wouldn't be able to even guess that unless I actually played the game first. Back to the air quotes issue, If we renamed the 'X' or 'Billy Bo Bob Ray', or 'Thistle von Wigglybottom, the twelveth' and dropped him into a random scene with other random characters... he'd be an unidentifiable original character. One best suited to be the git of a rival of the protagonist.
The over reaching problem here is your violating a very basic concept in writing. SHOW, don't TELL. One of the cardinal rules of writing quality and your repeatedly ignoring it, on major plot points. What this story needs is a series of side stories explaining what happened in the background. What Pamela did to get Japanese Super Citizenship (first guess is she made the youki freak out into submission). Letter samples between 'Ranma' and his two other members of his threesome appartent. How Pamela managed to find Roxas after he got punted in time. The mega adventure in which Pamela managed to do enough to monster society to become a 'living' god. Serious 10,0 years old and apparently never sealed away... We are talking fighting Cthulu to a stand still level power here. Before we get to her alchemy skills.
So that should give an overview of what you've told me that I'd like shown... now lets go over what I've actually seen. Lets start off with 'Ranma's' stationary of love (see above)... it apparently extends to his homemade uniform as well. Kuno in particular seems to be weak against it. To the point attacking male 'Ranma' may be him freaking out over the bizzarre attraction he is feling. Akane on the otherhand seems to be alergic to these clothes of love or suffering from an inverse reaction to the formula. Her reaction to 'Ranma' does seem rather close to those Nikki got after using the inverse, a potion of hate. In game terms, 'Ranma' is constantly casting Provoke on Akane... which is not helping him in my eyes.
The problem here is that I don't think that is what you were going for. Why? When I came back I read your profile... what I see there is a profile about how much the Nerimite choice for a wife are wrong for him... as seen through fanfiction fanon goggles. Why do I say this? First, keep in mind that I'm not trying to discourage alternate parings for Ranma. I'm not trying to ship any of the Nermites. I'm stating the clues as to my conclusion.
Shampoo is pretty much dead on (for those not in the she is pretty so all is forgotten groupies). Ukyo has that never smacks him around with a baker's peel whille embarassed vibe. In cannon she sees him as an ideal and a way out of her father's grasp... this wars with her actually liking him... I blaim Ukyo's father. Kodachi listed as putty... you actually give her points for letting him do as he please... you fail at Kodachi analysis. Seriosly, she paralyses people then decides is make out time. Control freak is watching you. She is even worse in the manga. Then you go from 0% match to 75% if we apply a Mindrape makes everything better approach, now with more drugs. Moving on.
At the start of that list was the big tell. Your story here has a bigger tell, specifically a bad fanon Akane... namely Chatroom Banbot Akane. A single issue banbot: If target pervert, then target Akane SMASH!. I could go on, but its not the real issue here. The only girl in her entire class with an kind of issue with Ranma in the girl's showers thing is just freaky. Granted the not in the boys showers is dead on logical, but the principle (he who is unrevealed) deciding to put something like that to a vote? The problem, ignoring the girls will be splashing 'Ranma' as they are bascially just as bad as the boys, if more subtile more often, is that only Akane disagreed. The main reason appears to be that 'Ranma' is using a love potion as the liquid component of making his clothes. The raw volume of the deluge of date offers of all sexuallities backs this up. (That or a Aura of lust/smooth as this 'Ranma' is a badly disguised SI)
For the rest of the Tendo's, Nabiki is logical and coherent, Soun actually gets character developement to the point of looking of completely sound mind and skilled in sizing up opponents (grant he routinely overacts on purpose in the series). Kasumi is smitten in a way that makes her just plain shallow. Then we get a near mindless Akane who gets grenaded 4-7 times a day. If she wasn't a banbot 'Ranma' would be in real danger of dealing with someone immune to his grenades. Granted he has his mindslave girlfriends now... but even then they wouldn't be near as effective in a few months. Though Moka going unsealed in a public area of a public school infront of a great number of people tells me that Ms. Ibis did something major to alter things... and infuriatingly, its off screen where I can't actually see it.
I think the is enough for a prelim. To recap, the story has an intresting premiss and there are many parts that intrested me (largely the parts that aren't really covered in detail)... the big sin is an Unlikable, jerk SI as a lead character that is near completely unlike the character he is derived from. The main antagonists are useless and one demoted to near mindless automoton... in the name of not matching her with the male lead.. who she wouldn't like in the first place.
I'd give it a fair grade, it would get far higher... but the constant feeling of not reading the nonexistant previous story and the constant feeling the 'Ranma' is one of those explitive princes he keeps beating up, combined with a gutted antagonist is not helping it.
| Dumbledork chapter 6 . 4/4/2010
Loved it like always.
| Dlikee chapter 6 . 4/4/2010
i love the story glad to see you are aloowing a chance for kasumi to be friends with ranma, i do hope you have ranma ease up on her, ranma doesn't have to get engaged to her but at least he could be nicer to her or become friends