Reviews for The First Love Night of L and Light
Guest chapter 1 . 1/25
this is stupid very bad grammar
Someone chapter 1 . 3/14/2016
Someone read this at a bad fan fiction panel and I've never laughed so hard in my life this is amazing.
"Light them reached his pleasure obelisk at L's catacombs of honey."
horrified chapter 1 . 6/17/2015
please read a grammar book
Guest chapter 1 . 9/4/2014
Great man lol
Guest chapter 1 . 7/17/2014
I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude but this is very gramatically incorrect and the spelling is horrid. I love the story, but its all over the place...
Guest chapter 1 . 5/27/2014
eewwww
GGMK chapter 1 . 3/22/2014
This was more gross than funny, but some of the over the top moments made me laugh.
Guest chapter 1 . 2/21/2014
That is the most screwed up Fanfiction I have ever read. but then again so is light... and I always thought L was a little off too... mmm.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/21/2014
Awful. Learn how to spell.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/23/2013
cum watermelon very satisfied L and Light
CuddlingL chapter 1 . 11/8/2013
Ohhhhhh, *tries to stop laughing* you've made me feel better.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/21/2013
so weird o_o... i read it all so i guess i liked it XD
seitokeiseiyuo chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
cried alot. touched my harto and soul. luv the quote ending
LOLZY chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
penis. L started to lick and the swallowed his member, salivating all over it, chocolate and almonds. And then, he begun thrusting and sucking, but the lettuce in teeth was bothering him.

"Light, I need a toothpick..." and Light gave him a toothpick. L picked his teeth, and Light looked the picking and enjoyed, being very lascivious and putting his thumb in his mouth and pressing his teeth against it.

"Oh L! Pick me too!" said a very hard and passionately full Light. L curved over Light and started to pick him. Light was feeling good as L passed and cleaned his mouth of dirty and embedded food. All of that movement was exciting him, and him penis was full of pumping blood from such a exciting act. He couldn't kept his juices any longer:

"Ohh...L, I'm gonna cum!" and L readily put his mouth on Light penis so as to not lose flavorful juices. Light shot very tasty enjoyable cum, it smelled like fine carrot cake.

"Hhuuummmmm" groaned L, licking his lips with pleasure and rolling his eyes. Light's tasty juice was something he never experienced in his whole life. It was sticky, but very refreshing and had sedative properties. L felt his mouth dampen as the juice ran from his tongue, falling on Light's pelvic skin. When Light was finished, L put the cum on a cut watermelon that was on the bed.

"Cum too L, I wanna see!" and L started jerking off his on the watermelon. Light was very shocked and liked the view of a beautiful almost yellow snow shower.

"Light, let's eat!" and Light and L went to their with their mouths the to the fresh cum covered watermelon. They licked and chewed, always kissing one another in lust and much desire. As they kissed, they started to play with the watermelon seeds with their tongues, passing from on mouth to another, all while the delicious cum was flowing in their mouths in a graceful dance, the pure love of two delightful men.

It was the end; they were very tired and needed to sleep.

"L, this is the happiest night of my life!"

"Light, I love you so much, never leave me alone!"

And again they kiss, this time eating the ham and cheese spread on the bed, sharing the fine flavor of refrigerator contents, full of chocolate and oil. The bed was full of food, the smell was like a forest of wonders, with fatness and sweetness and moldiness, all dancing all refreshing odors of a finally achieved passion, but that doesn't matter anymore, their love conquers all.

The End
LOLZY chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
The First Love Night of L and Light

L and Light were chained together because of L’s distrust of Light. The chain was long and unbreakable, and many months passed since they were first cuffed. Light said:

"L, this can't go on, you have to trust me to capture Kira!" he tried to look convincing.

"That is impossible Light, you agreed with being bound." L responded looking for slips on Light’s part.

"Okay L, but my personal life is suffering, I need intimacy with someone, I just can stand this anymore. I think I'm going to cry."

"We must make sacrifices Light, we're getting nearer to Kira..." and then the two went to sleep. L laid on his bed and Light on other bed. The lights were turned out.

Light is serial killer, but he still has feelings. He's lonely and has no one to talk to. L is still so distant, why is that?

Light got up and tip toed to L’s bed. Apparently, L was still sleeping, even with the chains making soft noises. The light was dim and Light could see L's face. It was very white and soft, not unlike a woman. His pale skin spoke lust to Light, because his loneliness was heightening his passion, loneliness killing his will to live. It was very strange what Light was feeling.

Light thought: Must I do this? He will suspect me? But Lights impulses were stronger than his doubts and he kneeled besides L’s bed. He then approached very calmly to not attract attention and wake L. He must not make contact, or he will wake up.

L was not facing Light, so he would have to turn around to see Light if he awoke. Light started to smell L’s skin. He got near L's neck and breathed in deeply. It was a little sour, maybe because of the sweat of today’s work. Drops of sweat were beading on his neck, and Light, very calmly and gently licked one of the drops. It was bitter and had a horrible taste. But, for a desolate heart, the sorrows of life are bearable if someone is at your side. Light gazed at L's hair. He reached as if to touch L’s hair, but he couldn't touch. He just imagined...the feeling of his hair and his stomach clenched with want. Light’s fingers grazed the soft black strands...and then L woke up.

"What are you doing Light?" asked L in monotone voice, he seemed strangely not confused.

"L? You were wake?" said a very frightened Light with a surprised face.

"Yes, I was feeling what you were doing..."

"But why didn’t you..."

"Isn't it clear, you peeping tom?"

Light smirked and approached L. Their bodies made full contact and got entangled with one another. Without a single world, they start to unclothe one another. They do it quietly, because the chains jingling might awake someone else in the building.

After a minute, they are completely nude. Their caresses were mutual and passionately sweet. Then the moment arrived.

"Who's going first?" Light asked, a little concerned, because all of this was new to him.

"You can go..." said L with a nervous voice.

L turned, got ready and gently lifted his buttocks waiting for Light to come in. Light then gently pushed himself in, trying to be as careful as possible.

"Light! You forgot the lube! You're tearing my ass!" shouted L.

"Lube? But, why?"

" Don’t you know anything? We need to be comfortable."

"Sorry L, I'm inexperienced...”

Light then started to search for lube in the headquarters, but couldn't find any. He started to bring food from the kitchen.

"L, apparently you forgot to buy lube, why aren’t you prepared?"

"I never thought you would come and tease me!" said L a bit annoyed, but not losing his head. He was still waiting for his very first time with Light.

"Okay, so what now? I picked some things in the kitchen. Milk, detergent, ham, a sausage, lettuce, mayonnaise, a watermelon, ketchup and mustard, a tomato, salami, olive oil and cheese." said Light confused with so many options.

"Are you mad? You want to put food in my ass?"

"We have no options left L, sacrifices must be made!"

L with disgust readied again and waited Light's final selection. Light then poured detergent on his dick, hopefully it would work as good lubricant.

"AHHHH, it's in my dick hole! It’s burning!"

"Oh God!" L quickly began to suck out the detergent out of Light’s dick.

"Faster L, it's aching!" said Light his skin was turning red. His legs were trembling and his face was contorted because of the pain.

"MUHHMMUHH!" mumbled L as he sucked out detergent.

L pulled away and spit detergent on the floor.

"You idiot! My mouth is all bubbly now!"

Light felt very bad, but he wanted to compensate his awkwardness. He picked mayonnaise and put it on his dick, rubbing to disperse it all around. He then poured more on his belly and chest, so it would be more sticky and sexy. Then, Light picked up some mustard and ketchup and poured it on L’s ass. L felt a chill in his spine:

"It's delicious Light. Ahhhhhhh...so cold...so...tasssssssty..." said L his neck got goose bumps. L's hole started to throb with enticing food on his body. The adipose smell of the mayonnaise impregnated in the bedroom. The nauseous odor of the fatty mayonnaise started to make the lovely couple dizzy, penetrating their nostrils and stimulating their manly sexual organs. They were feeling drowned and filled with passion for one another.

Then, the moment came. Light gently put his dick on L’s asshole and without entering, started to make circular movements. He went right and left very slow, feeling that delicious piece of a man. L was feeling relaxed, because mustard is slick to skin and ketchup is full of sugar, and L likes sugar.

"Hey Light, pick some chocolate bars for me please?" Light brought the bars. L started to eat them as Light played on his man hole. It was a very sugary bar, with almond inside it.

"Do you want some Light?" offered a very lascivious L. Light nodded and L bit off a piece. Light went to it; licked it longingly then...they kissed passionately, spreading chocolate all over their faces. Their touching mouths were very hot, and their lips started to melt the chocolate. A small river of lukewarm chocolate flowed from their lips, flowing on their chests, covering their members and dripping on the bed sheets, turning them brown and delectable. L and Light lowered their bodies and licked the bed sheets, swallowing the mayonnaise and chocolate that is all spread in their love nest. Then, L shouted:

"Oh...Shit! An almond piece is in my eye!" Light went to the rescue. With his chocolate covered mouth, he licked L eyes sucking out the bad invasive almond shard.

"Thanks Light, you are the man of my world."

"No problem L, anything for my love..."

Light resumes the cock rubbing on L’s ass. But at that point the ketchup and mustard dried.

"Light, I feel things cracking in my hole!"

"Don't worry L, I'll stop It." and Light picked the Gorgonzola's cheese and cut it into small pieces. He put them on his hand and started to rub L's ass with them.

"It's working L!" said Light as he rubbed the cheese firmly to peel off dry parts of the condiments. The Gorgonzola was all over L's ass. All that cheese turned L's skin mildly green, a blue-like green, and Light looked at it, enjoying the sights and licking his lips. Never he saw such a beautiful lad in so incredible and rewarding shape. L's pale skin combined perfectly with the cheese fungus, and that moment...Light would never forget. He’s over the cracking now, Light put more mayonnaise, ketchup and mustard. He picked the olive oil bottle and dripped olive oil on L's ass, to keep the condiments from drying. Light rubbed gently to feel the softness and grace of that frail, but at the same time wholesome man. Now L’s ass is well lubricated.

Light then pointed his dick at L's ass. Light was sweating a lot, he had never done this before and its new to him. Nevertheless, he went to push a very little bit of his member inside L. L let out a moan:

"Ooohhhhh" and Light went with very slow movements in L's hole. Light wanted to be very gentle, so he was slow and attentive. L picked Light’s hand and started to suck his fingertip. But something was wrong:

"Light, you didn't clean your nails, they’re full of chocolate and mayonnaise. blarg, I think I'm going to vomit..." and L’s stomach hurt, because the mixture was disgusting.

"Don't vomit L, I have an antidote" and then Light, continuing his thrusting gave L a lettuce leaf. L put it in mouth and chewed:

"This lettuce isn't fresh Light, we need to go to the market tomorrow..."

"Yes, we’ll make the list after our moment...don't forget lube"

As L chewed the lettuce, Light went a bit faster on L's ass, because he was confident and feeling anal contractions in L. Light then picked up a tomato and cut in half, an put one half on L's back and started to move it in all directions spreading tomato goop and seeds.

"Ooohhhh Light, this is refreshing, I want more..." moaned L.

Light then started to Lick L's back. His back was very clean and no hair was present. L was very feminine indeed, masculine enough to not bother Light.

After a bit, Light tried to go faster but the olive oil had been absorbed into L’s skin.

"AHHHH, you're bruising my rectum!" shouted L painfully. Light quickly pulled his dick out of L's anus and apologized.

"Sorry L! I'm a shitty lover!" cried Light-putting both hands on face to hide his shame.

"Don't be sad Light, you didn't mean too" said L, calming Light's sadness very patiently. L said:

"Why don't you suck a bit, I need penis stimulus." L asked politely.

Light was salivating. He put his mouth on L's penis and started to suck. He got very slow but was confident and got faster:

"Shit Light! Watch out for your teeth! You almost ripped my dick!" shouted L nervous.

Light was almost crying, because his sexual experience was very thin. He need counseling, but couldn't tell L, because L thought Light was smart, and Light couldn’t disappoint him.

"Oka
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