|Reviews for Break To Breathe|
| Lynx chapter 50 . 8/1/2017
AHHAHHA I LOVE IT. But the ending was sad tho. I want them to be together forever.
| Minimama chapter 45 . 5/28/2017
Neji lifted his hands to frame Shikamaru's head, leaning in until his words shivered out against the Nara's mouth. "You break me apart…but you're all I can breathe…"
And in this moment I SCREAMED BREAK TO BREATHE.
And in what I believe are the well-fitted words of Birdman in this aviary inspired story...
I have come to the reviews section to put some respeck on ya name.
| helegg chapter 24 . 4/6/2017
the song Nicotine by Panic at the Disco
| helegg chapter 1 . 4/5/2017
"tonton, Tenten" lol
the comedy in this chapter flowed really well!
| smolgatito chapter 4 . 2/23/2017
THIS IS SO GOOD!
| jess.c.kong chapter 41 . 1/28/2017
I love how you balance humor and drama! My favorite banter was the 'lovebird reunion' scene (the "flock mentality - you mean 'mob mentality'" barb made me laugh!) and my favorite "drive by" slapstick scene was when Hibari gets propositioned by Lee! Hilarious!
I have more grammatical suggestions:
1) "this" should be "his" when Neji first regains consciousness and assesses his injuries.
2) when Hibari and Shikamaru talk about the future of the village, the verb tense should be "knows" instead of "know".
3) when Kitori touches Neji's collarbone, there is an extra "his" in the sentence.
4) can't remember where I found it or in what context, but the word 'symbols' is used instead of 'cymbals'.
5) it might have been in the last chapter (now that I think about it...oops) but the verb tense "chased" was used instead of "chase". I think it was when Neji and Ozuku were facing off but I couldn't find the reference again to confirm...
| jess.c.kong chapter 40 . 1/26/2017
Haha! Love how Hibari just now notices Sakura...Neji's reaction is priceless! Now we get to the true heartbreak! I'm already mentally preparing...
The only correction I found was after Neji flushes out Ozuku in the temple, the line where he doesn't have time to react, the first "to" should be removed.
| 91Silver chapter 50 . 1/23/2017
Oh man, I think BtB just broke me...complements to the author *tip hat*.
| jess.c.kong chapter 37 . 1/22/2017
A-maz-ing. The unbridled, raw feels within this one chapter...steadily building from chapter one. Gods, these two are delicious! Your level of suspense and emotion is untouchable! I am anxious to continue because I know where this leads but I never shy away from angst! I love a slow burn! ;)
My only question is what happened to Shikamaru's hand injury? Minor detail but after he ran into Neji, it just kind of "went away".
| jess.c.kong chapter 36 . 1/18/2017
Ooo, Neji, you butthead! I can't believe you hurt Shikamaru like that! And all he's done is protect and defend you! Even though I remember all the angst, it still kills me! .
Some more suggestions if you want them (though the last two might just be a turn of phrase I'm not aware of):
1) past tense "chased" should be used when Shikamaru tries to deter Naruto from coming with him to find Neji (which I just now realized, was Hinata supposed to go with him to rescue Neji or was he just asking for her support on his decision to go after Neji? Because he says something to the effect of, "I'm going to need you with me on this" or something.)
2) when Neji confronts Ozuku, Ozuku says even without his eyes, "you're pleasing to mine" - should it be "me" instead of "mine"?
3) when Shikamaru almost wishes he hadn't figured out Neji's "missing pieces", you write he should have "given the answers back" - should "given" be "taken", or is it "given" because he is giving Neji back his secrets that he 'stole' from him?
| jess.c.kong chapter 35 . 1/18/2017
Morning! (At least in my time zone)...two suggested spots of revision:
1) there is a period missing behind "disk", when Shikamaru joked about slipping one.
2) when Neji stalked off to the other room. I think the line flows better if the "been" is removed before 'allocated', or the word "to" is added after 'allocated'. I think the latter makes more sense in context...
Another great chapter-we finally get to the crux of Neji's drama, and poor Shikamaru has to take the brunt of it. Literally. To his head. Again. ;~; this is my second time reading your story and I find it just as intriguing as the first time. I get to rediscover all of the breadcrumbs I may have missed the first time around. Thank you for continuing to share this lovely gem of a story!
| Jessica chapter 33 . 1/17/2017
I am an avid fan of your arc and just had the sudden urge to re-read "Break to Breathe". I've commented previously to how amazingly complex and fluid your understanding of our favorite ninjas are (the whole Konoha gang!), so I'll spare you all the gushing ;). My comment is to merely point out a typo (I see you've been editing the chapters so I figure it helps to have the readers' eyes help you out)...the word 'fetuses' was spelled incorrectly ('foetuses').
Also, I meant to comment earlier but forgot. The chapter in which Shikamaru flashes back to his discussion with Tsunade about Neji, there is a point she mentions Shikamaru's name in the sentence but there isn't a comma after his name. If I see any more, I'll let you know.
Again, big fan! Hope to read more of your future work!
| Mr. Shy Rockstar chapter 49 . 12/22/2016
(I'm posting this on this chapter because I can't leave more than one review per chapter...)
So I was craving some neji/shika fics (which I haven't read in years) and my friend recommended this to me. Which ironically she did around the same time like 3-4 years ago. Im pretty sure I read it then but it's been so long I was more than happy to read again. This was a crazy ride from start to finish and it tore at my heart strings and weighed so heavily on my mind for the past week as I've read this, it made working hard. It's so hard to function in society when your heart is stuck worrying and digesting the lives of two deeply moving souls. I was so thoroughly invested and now I feel lost, troubled, yet settled, because I have a conclusion but not the one I want. I have answers but not the ones I need. They left it on a note of forgiveness but the separation... I... I'm so baffled and lost and happy and settled. I'm torn and not sure how to feel. I loved every second of this and if I thought my brain would let me I would willingly dive into the deep dark depths of this again right now just to resink myself into something so full of emotion I suffocate in it.
| Kaz the king chapter 27 . 12/10/2016
can't think straight alrightʖ
| Kaz the king chapter 27 . 12/10/2016
reading this while my mom scream at me for eating too much,