|Reviews for Of Elves And Humans|
| Lombus chapter 129 . 5h
Glad to see another chapter up :)
Even if it's been a while, the story still feels real, the characters familiar and the all kinds of awesome.
I really liked what you did with Anders, if you ever decide to write your version of DA: A with Lenya it will certainly spice things up. And if you ever dive in DA2, hell it's gonna be fun.
You're scaring me there with Evelyn, but maybe she could join a certain order before it's too late *hint hint*
I forgot for a moment that Zevran had died until I saw how Leliana was, so yeah, that was nice. Hopefully she'll be back, she deserves to see the celebrations.
It's been a hell of a ride so far so the ending will surely not disappoint.
Keep writing and update when you can, and in the mean time take a good care of yourself.
| Kanta48 chapter 129 . 5/20
You have no idea how happy I was to see the notice of another chapter. I had feared that you were not going to finish. This was again another great chapter, lots of anguish, but then there would be after such an event. Love how Alistair recruits Anders into the wardens. Hoping that Evelyn will become a warden and not a corpse. You have wonderful characters and I would hate to see another lost. Hope to see another chapter eventually.
| Candle in the Night chapter 129 . 5/19
I was thrilled to see an update. It's been a while sure but my enthusiasm for this fic will not wane because of mere waiting.
It really tore at the heart strings again. Reading this has been akin to a rollarcoaster, full of ups and downs in the feels department, and this chapter was no different. We had the joy of Lenya surviving, and then the grim reality of a slow recovery, and Leliana parting in grief. Alistair's guilt very much mirrored my own, as in my happiness of Lenya's fate I completely forgot about Zevran and his death affecting Leliana. It was really sad to see her leave in such a way, resentful and angry towards Lenya.
I also wonder what part Evie will play now. You've kept her involved in this story for a reason; I'm eager to see what that reason could be.
| Alpenwolf chapter 129 . 5/19
Taking a few moments to think about it, this chapter certainly makes sense. More deaths, almost deaths and an archdemon that fights against having been cheated one last death, namely the warden that kills him. The ritual may have been done, but the fight itself and the ending of the blight certainly don't make it easy to survive for Lenya.
| march4fun chapter 129 . 5/18
Merilsell-senpai! *flying tackle hug* I missed you! *starts crying* And OMG THANK YOU! I was so scared at the end of the last chapter, but BroAnders came through! Ohmygosh, i love this! This is my favorite DA fic ever. *hugs again* I'm sorry writing has been a hassle lately. I've been having that issue with my own stories. Still, I believe in you! You are a fantabulous storyteller!
Always a fan.
| Simply Christian chapter 128 . 4/27
First off, I want to let you know how frustrated I am that after wading through over nine hundred thousand words, I find it only one chapter from being completed. After you finish, I will be sure to return and leave a review with concluding comments and critiques.
Although I don’t like Lenya as a character, I do appreciate the fact she did undergo serious development over the course of the story. The transformation from a bitter, angry girl into a more mature (if still seriously flawed) young woman was well-done.
I really didn’t like how Lenya got away with a lot of malicious decisions early on, and whenever Alistair or someone else tries to protest, they’re treated as fools for doing so. But the crowning moment of her spitefulness was when Alistair actually pointed out the hypocrisy of Lenya wanting to save a Dalish warrior when she had murdered a human soldier in the same situation in the Korkari Wilds, and it’s treated as Alistair being petulant.
Lenya has also proven to be irrational and spiteful to the point of endangering the success of the mission. When Alistair called her out on her prior prejudices as mentioned above, she sends him back to camp. When she gets into a disagreement with Wynne, Lenya orders her to stay behind despite the fact that a mage and a healer would have been of vital importance. And again, no one calls her on her poor decisions.
For all Lenya’s complaints that the Chantry “shoves their religion down people’s throats,” she has no compunctions about shoving her own bitterness and hatred in other people faces if they so much as offer a benevolent greeting to her. Really, Lenya, by herself, shows more religious intolerance than all the Chantry-aligned characters combined throughout the story.
I really didn’t like your theme of “humans are the worst.” Between Lenya spouting off how awful humans are and Alistair even feeling ashamed to being one, and the lack of alternate perspectives on the matter, it’s difficult to believe it’s just a case of Unreliable Narrator.
If it weren’t for the clear racism displayed by the Dalish towards Lenya’s companions, I would have written this off as a “elves good, humans bad” black and white story.
You spent too much time focusing on the negatives that you did not offer perspectives from the other side of the story, nor did you show enough of the positives to truly balance it out.
This is actually a theme I found to be prevalent throughout the story: the cynicism inherent in this story made it difficult to push through at times, and more than once I was seriously tempted to stop reading because of all the negativity weighing down. Yes, it’s true that “Angst” is one of the genre tags, but I think there was too much of it.
The resolution of the demonic possession of Connor was well done.
Although Jowan’s ritual was the decision I made the first time I played “Dragon Age,” I think it was better that Lenya never learned of it. The decision to kill Connor was heartbreaking for her, especially since she had been forced to perform a similar act in Lothering, to the point where she couldn’t bring herself to complete the task, and as a result, Alistair had to perform it and Arai died defending her. If Lenya had known of Jowan’s option, she would have chosen it easily and cheerfully, as it would have allowed her to be free from being forced to kill a child and given her an excuse to do away with Isolde. Though I consider Jowan’s ritual to be the least evil option (compared to killing a child or risking the deaths of soldiers and civilians during the time it would take to get to the Circle and back), the outcome portrayed here was the best for providing character development for both Lenya and Alistair.
I liked the way you handled Morrigan, keeping her a good balance between her antisocial, amoral behavior and her growing attachment to Lenya.
Probably the most defining example of this was the aftermath of the battle with Flemeth. While the readers benefit from viewing the story from Morrigan’s perspective and how genuinely concerned she is about Lenya facing her mother, none of the other companions have this insight, and react accordingly. This leads to a much-deserved… chastisement from the other members of the party (I was cheering Leliana on when she tackled Morrigan for her apathy towards Alistair’s condition, and applauded when Sten straight-up knocked her out). Seeing all the other party members united in their displeasure against Morrigan’s endangering of Lenya’s life was very cathartic; as much as I like her character, she really needs to be taken down a peg sometimes.
I appreciated that scene also because it *almost* seemed like a character bashing moment from a poorly-written fanfic, but it actually is a culmination of the consequences of Morrigan’s isolation from the rest of the party.
I appreciated how spot-on the mutual hatred between Morrigan and Alistair was. While I’m as fond of the Belligerent Sexual Tension trope as the next shipper, this is a situation where it is plain, simple hatred between the two, with the only commonality is that they care for Lenya.
While I agree mostly agree with your portrayal of Arl Eamon as a politician with staunchly traditional values towards monarchy, I don’t think you give him enough credit when regarding his relationship with Alistair. Despite all the ways Eamon had wronged Alistair (raised in the stables, taking it for granted that Alistair would do what he said, etc.), I do think he genuinely cared about Alistair. Arl Eamon won’t be winning any Father Figure of the Year awards, but the fact he took the time to repair the amulet belonging to Alistair’s mother and try to return it to him means that for all his faults, he is not heartless.
Your handling of Lenya’s experience at Fort Drakon and the resulting trauma she has was very well done, and given the respect and direness it deserved.
And your decision not to include rape as one of the tortures Lenya endures was prudent, especially since Rape As Drama is an unfortunately overused trope that is not treated correctly. Still, I must admit, during the time when it had yet to be confirmed either way and I feared rape was one of the trials Lenya suffered through, I looked at the way you had written her PTSD in other aspects, and I thought, “If anyone could pull it off without seeming trite or offensively insensitive, it would be this author.”
Probably the best conflict between Alistair and Lenya (from a literary standpoint) was that of the Landsmeet. Of all the fights they had over the course of the story, this was the one I felt that genuinely portrayed the situation as both parties screwing up instead of Alistair being blamed for being an idiot.
Alistair’s sudden drive to seek the throne after so long of being determined to avoid it was born from being genuinely moved by the plight of the city elves and his feeling of helplessness regarding Lenya’s recovery, and he feels like Lenya is pushing him away while she recuperates. As well-meaning as his motives were, he forgot to take into account how Lenya would feel about it. While everyone else was asking Lenya how she felt about Alistair now pursuing the throne, this was the one time when he neglected to ask for her input in the moment he really should have done so. It was this failure to include Lenya in this decision that was the true mistake Alistair made.
For Lenya’s part, she’s still recovering from her ordeal at Fort Drakon, and then she’s struck by the apparent one-eighty Alistair made on the topic of becoming king. She’s justifiably angry and hurt by this unintentional disregard for her feelings and abandonment, and her deal with Anora was a way for her to regain control of her life in a time when she has so little of it. Where Lenya truly erred was her decision not to betray Alistair’s trust and not tell him of her plan. Prodded by the spite that used to rule her entire life, she chose to not inform Alistair about her support for Anora, and effectively stabbed in the back during the Landsmeet.
Their first argument afterwards was eye-opening for both parties as they reveal their motives and unload their burdens on each other as they should have done earlier. They both leave the conversation angry, but the revelations pave the path for a truly moving and tear-inducing reconciliation. They both recognized how they made mistakes that hurt the one they cared about the most, but they also loved each other enough to forgive these actions and move forward together. It is this culmination of growth and maturity that makes this scene easily my favorite in your story.
Given its length, there are many things I did not cover in this review, but I believe I mentioned the critiques I most wanted to point out. To sum up, while there were plenty of things I didn’t like about this story, I salute your skills as an author and the fact you produced a well-written epic of almost one million words.
PS: I admit, I would like to see how Lenya reacts to meeting Velanna (“Please tell me I wasn’t this bad.”)
| Aryassine chapter 128 . 3/30
Wow! Amazing story... from the start till now very entertaining and funny. Tbh, I started to read the story with chapter 5 (because of Morrigan), but after few lines I noticed the remarkable quality and went to the Prologue. All companions have their moments and are well written. I like the handling of the DR, especially the idea of a sort of pain,when the taint is affected by Morri's magic. Nothing comes without a price ;-) But I must admit that I felt no pity for Alistair, only pure envy *ducks and run away*
| Lord Dream chapter 1 . 3/9
A bit of advice your very unlikely to take (though you really REALLY should) would be to majorly condense this story. You have WAY to many chapters for the length of this fic. That 128 chapter count needs to come down around 40 to 30. A good rule of thumb is if your fic is over 200k words, its best to have every chapter be at least 10k to 15k words. As it is, its very tedious hitting the next button every few seconds.
| SwoopingDragon chapter 128 . 11/17/2016
Whoa, the last true chapter! Epilogue still to go and solve the problems you've laid out for yourself, of course, but still: one dead archdemon. As much as I like how you write Zevran, I think killing him was a good move. He's always been Lenya'a best friend, and if you're doing the dark ritual then Alastair can't die, which is sort of too bad; I always like a bit of tragedy to cap off a story. Besides, considering how hyped the archdemon is for the whole game, I always think it's a little cheap to do it without anyone dying. I understand why the writers didn't make possibilities for other party members to die because it would distract from the central mechanic, but that's exactly the sort of thing it makes sense to explore in a fic.
I'm not particularly worried about Lenya because I happen to know you have plans for a sequel, but I appreciate Alastair's fear. What a cutie.
| PinkRedRose2 chapter 128 . 11/16/2016
I balled like a baby when Zevran died and am on the edge of my seat for the epilogue
| Jasmeet chapter 8 . 11/4/2016
Lenia is really really irritating. I am willing to read the next few chapters to see if this fic gets better. If it doesn't, I would sadly have to give up. I know that your writing must have improved in the later chapters, but the earlier chapters desperately need revision.
| Meishuu chapter 7 . 11/1/2016
"Ugly yet cute" is the best description I've read for the Mabari. I love how Lenya is already picturing how she can use him to torment Alistair and the other shems, hehe. Nice to see the quartermaster still remember her too!
(Knowing what happens later makes me want to cry).
| Meishuu chapter 6 . 11/1/2016
"A single day of knowing him and she has already given him a rather...suitable nickname. Interesting young lady indeed." Even Duncan knows. Hah!
I always wondered why our Warden just "happily" drinks the blood, not even a single line of "What is going on here? We are going to drink what?". I guess a Dalish wouldn't put that many objections since the taint is already in their veins anyway. It's nice to see Alistair attempt to comfort her, even when she's still her "ice queen" self (very original nickname, Alistair, really).
| ZathuraRoy chapter 128 . 10/26/2016
... NO. I REFUSE. NOT ON.
| metaladdict chapter 128 . 10/22/2016
This chapter ending...