|Reviews for Pride of a General|
| Xotchil chapter 25 . 9/6/2012
Hello Nephilim Rising,
I just finished reading your story. I liked it a lot! Really.
I am, like you, a big fan of Sephiroth, and I love fanfiction with a happy ending regarding Seph and Genesis.
Also I noticed the last chapter was posted in Sept 2011.
Are you going to finish the whole story?
Please say yes!
| SherrySummer chapter 25 . 10/2/2011
I had to smile at Genesis’ bitterness at the thought that Sephiroth would have fared better. :) The rivalry between Sephiroth and Genesis is just as interesting as their attraction towards each other. I hope his defeat isn’t going to create a gap in their relationship, but I love how you bring out this side of Genesis because it is an integral part of him. For now, I’m happy that he found a temporary refuge where he can recover and perhaps he did more damage to Clark’s force than Clark would have liked.
“I will know no rest until fate, which had befallen him, will become lucid to me.”
That captures very well Sephiroth’s mood after Genesis has gone missing. It’s not likely that Sephiroth will despair at this stage or abandon his command to search for his lover. But he will feel nonetheless restless. It’s a believable reaction and as always, I love how you keep him in character. :)
And the confrontation between Mikelle and Sephiroth was nice. XD She can be a match for Sephiroth when it comes to sarcasm. I agree with her about one thing though. I’d love to see Sephiroth perform a miracle. XD So is the traitor, her sister, is the key to the president’s short sighted decision?
Thank you for another update of this delightful story!
| SherrySummer chapter 24 . 8/31/2011
I am seriously baffled by what President Shinra’s change of tactics. XD He certainly doesn’t make Sephiroth’s life easy. But I’m sure you will provide us with a perfectly good explanation as to his motives. If I can trust anyone not to be lost on all the intrigues and twists the author devised, it’s you. But in the meantime, I loved, as always, how you captured Sephiroth in this chapter.
I had to smile at the first segment. It was nicely done and his views on people and insistence on truth were very much Sephiroth. In particular, I liked how you showed Sephiroth’s perceptiveness. He maybe clueless about social interactions but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand them at all. He probably can’t emphasize with them, but Sephiroth definitely knows how to manipulate and that requires understanding of how human mind works.
The sex scene. It’s by no means explicitly described, but I had a feeling that you got more comfortable with writing a sex scene. XD The resulting image was more explicit than usual, and I also thought Sephiroth’s feelings in these scenes were closer to how men would have treated sex. They are often less sentimental about it than women. The scene came across both sensual and realistic and I liked your comparison between triumph (or passion for battle?) and lust.
I’m not quite sure why Sephiroth didn’t give away the spy to the Turks for interrogation, but other than that, his decision to execute him was perfectly in his character. So was Angeal’s protest that the spy was unarmed and harmless. :)
Overall, it is beautifully written and flows smoothly. The bleak mood and frustration among soldiers come across well. And it’s always nice to see Sephiroth acting as a professional. It seems that the direct confrontation between Sephiroth and Clark cannot be avoided, unless Genesis deals with him first. Either way, it’s going to be interesting. :) So, are we going to find out what Genesis had been up to in the next chapter?
| SherrySummer chapter 23 . 5/9/2011
I’m sorry that it took me this long to give you feedback on this lovely piece of work. My life is kind of crazy at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy any less of your Sephiroth stories. Well, first of all, I’m happy to see that Shinra forces start to gain ground on the Wutai Army. After all, I love seeing Sephiroth victorious and I also liked seeing how Genesis coped in the absence of Sephiroth. His campaign against Shinra in the canon shows Genesis’ talents for strategies and it’s lovely to see it shown here too.
"Nobody was proud of what I achieved. Not even Hojo. So my motivation was always inherent, coming from the innate desire to surpass and prevail. I found it to be most satisfying."
It’s an interesting interpretation of Sephiroth’s life as a child. It’s believable that Sephiroth’s achievements were not much praised when he was a child, since the expectations of his potential were so high. And as for Sephiroth’s motivation for achieving more, well that is quite Sephiroth and it makes a delightful contrast with Genesis’ personality.
The Interlude. You describe some powerful images. The Nibelheim image is powerful of course, but your interpretation of it, why it happened, brings out Sephiroth better. Also, I find the idea of self as a prison interesting, and I believe what Sephiroth tried to achieve was to merge with other consciousness while keeping his self awareness, a difference between a component of Life stream and God.
A very thought provoking Interlude, my dear. :)
| Linnya chapter 23 . 5/8/2011
Nyaaargh, I can't believe this - you deserve so many more reviews for this wonderful piece of art, and yet, in a frustrating kind of way, it also took me forever to finally press the review button.
I don't really understand why, but it's strangely hard for me to adequately phrase how much I love this fanfiction. Even now I won't be able to find the proper words for my sheer admiration, but until I do, please note that this story has gotten to me like not many before, and I am absolutely looking forward to seeing it continued! (Okay, you said you'd put it on hold for now - maybe I'll find the right words before the next chapter, then. I'll try.)
So, in any case: thank you so much for writing such a wonderful fanfiction!
| hypnoticaa chapter 23 . 4/28/2011
I must say that Pride of a General is easier to read than Devil's Spawn. Sephiroth's personality doesn't seem so complicated in this one.
| Avid Fantasy chapter 22 . 3/19/2011
Hi, I am not on long, so I have to make this review short. I am sorry for that, but I love this chapter anyway.
Very nice job with the story about the Leviathan. You are so creative. I do not believe anyone else has ever given the Wutai history or legends. I wonder how it will tie in to Seph and his own power and if it means anything when people limit break?
I loved all the scenes with Seph and Gen, as I always do. You made them cute, funny and I love that Seph is falling even more in love with Gen. They are absolutely perfect together.
I loled that a girl was hitting on Seph. To funny. :D And it was also funny that Seph thought Lazard was sleeping with her. I think Seph needs to learn how to spot other gay men.
I was getting mad at those other reporters who would not leave Seph alone about Clark. He should have hit them with his car, but I have told you this before. :D
Neph, I love you very much, so for me, please, please, please do not let Seph kill Clark. He is such a good OC. Maybe Seph can let him go if he promises to go into hiding or something. Please.
Okay, I have to go now, but I will PM you next time I am on and we can talk. Big Hugs
| AlexJ69 chapter 22 . 3/15/2011
I have to say that I think this chapter is proof of how much your writing skills have improved, as well as your English. I know we talk about your improvements, especially your use of the English language all the time, but this chapter made it tangible.
Your writing, in terms of description and word structure has improved ten fold, and what I mean by word structure is that the way you shape the words in your story is flowing, vivid and engaging.
As for the content, this was a lovely chapter. Starting with Seph in the library. I could see him clearly, shifting, pacing and reading, I particularly enjoyed the lighting technique you implemented during that opening scene.
The legend of Larke was very creative and well thought out. I adored it, especially how he lost his lover. And I loved how you tied it in with the Leviathan, that was just awesome.
I love Genesis, you knew that, but I think I should state it again. I LOVE GENESIS. And you had him cracking me up. He keeps talking about Seph getting naked and Seph...oh poor Seph. That was just great. But I can see how Seph trying to temp someone into turning trader would be way more convincing if he were asking naked. I love you Gen. :D And poor Gen, being confused with a girl, but at least he got ice cream out of it. LMAO.
OMG, this chapter had me cracking up in so many places. Seph being flirted with by a woman and he doesn't know how what she was doing. Poor Seph, why do you abuse him so? Hahahah.
*"I would be jealous if I didn't know that you take more interest in your Masamune than in any woman's breasts."* BEST LINE EVER! So much WIN!
Really like Seph's plan to set a trap for Clark, its a good one, and one he's sure to walk right into. I just hope next chapter we will get to see Gen and Geal in action. They could use the spotlight for a little bit. I also liked that Seph finally understands what Gen means by wordless conversation. That was just a nice touch for me.
Oh, the press conference was brutal, but you handled that perfectly. I loved that even after his betrayal, Sephiroth is still loyal to Clark and the service he preformed for Shin-Ra all the years before. There is so much honor and loyalty, which we have agreed on many times in the past, that Seph is a very loyal person.
Again I cracked up when Seph's assumptions about the reporter and Lazard turned out to be wrong. I was even thinking...NO, Lazard is just too gay to be with a woman. I loved the spin you put on that.
There are probably things I overlooked or forgot to mention in this review, and if so, i will just tell you later personally.
| SherrySummer chapter 22 . 3/15/2011
As always, it was lovely to see an update from you and so soon after the last update. I loved the library scene. It was a fine idea to let Sephiroth search his answers for a triumph against Wutai in a library. And Sephiroth being Sephiroth, his searches will always be linked to the question of his origin. The atmosphere was a nice touch, reminding your readers of the library scene in Nibelheim. The idea of Mako enhanced warriors through rituals is interesting and explains how Sephiroth could have had a rival in Wutai, though I trust that with his Jenova cells, Sephiroth should come out stronger when he builds up more experience. As he said, he had been training from very early ages. It was good to see that Sephiroth planned to strike at the very source of his enemy’s strength. :)
Sephiroth/Genesis scene was delightful. You bring out a playful atmosphere when they are together and capture Sephiroth’s humor well. In particular, the below observation of Sephiroth made me laugh. XD What acute an observation of Genesis! It’s a tribute to Genesis’ depth of character that he could still manage to hold the affection of Sephiroth and turn his fiery temperament into something of attraction.
“Even the irrational minds are capable of making flawless logical conclusions. Sometimes.”
Hope Sephiroth’s plan to catch Clark unaware go well. I can’t wait to see Shinra’s campaign succeed, now that Sephiroth is the General.
| SherrySummer chapter 21 . 3/8/2011
Apologies for not reviewing your delightful work sooner. I was happy to see Sephiroth as a General. It felt like he was in his element, which was wonderful to see, even though he hadn’t yet worked out how to secure a victory against his enemy. It was also nice to see the complexity of his feelings towards Clark, and I believe he would have decided to eliminate Clark. Your idea of the media is just as critical and I dare say realistic as mine. XD They would probably sell their souls for a sensational headline. And of course Sephiroth would have thought a co-operation with the media as a waste of time. I loved his distrust of the media. It was believable. Genesis’ scheme to the publicity disaster was so Genesis. :) I hope the media get to taste their own medicine. The last scene was interesting and I liked the idea of a disrupted ritual turning against those who wish to benefit from it. I wonder how you are going to make Sephiroth exploit the experience and can’t wait to see him turning the tide of the war.
| Gavrilushka chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
Oh why hello.
For so long I have been wanting to do one of these non-anonymous critiques/reviews whatever people these days call them.
I've read till the current end, yes, but thought I may just stick my review here. Now enough drivel and more decency.
I must say, I love you as much as a healthy gay man could. I enjoy your portrayal of Sephiroth, it really strikes me in its flawlessness and I suppose its raw intensity. I find that this story of yours (and many others - yes I've kept you under my watchful eye!) has the best representation of his character, in fact, I become so immersed in this piece of fiction that it becomes reality. I can hear his soft baritone ringing my ears rather than my own voice in my head as I read each word. You've really captured his character and I am so grateful!
Quite clearly he must be your favorite character (mine being Genesis). I don't blame you - you seem to adore him for all the right reasons rather than his swoon worthy good looks. Unfortunately I'm a victim of that. :(
But I mean, not only is it in the voice of the character, but the actions as well - the situations, his responses...I'm starting to believe that you are Sephiroth, and if you are then send me an autograph on a photograph of you (I shall have it framed immediately!).
Though it does not simply end with your characterisation of Sephiroth. It extends to Genesis and his obvious, yet subtle flamboyance and flirtatious tendencies. And Angeal and his...well...Angeal-ness. XD
Even the minor characters are depicted so well.
Then it comes to setting and word choice...for being in a 1st person perspective, you execute this very well indeed.
Oh I could go on about how wonderfully you write! But I would be here for days simply praising you.
I really do love this. Enjoy it to the fullest! So do keep writing this. This, I believe, is literature. Yes, literature - a true diamond!
Well I do hope I got my message across.
| Avid Fantasy chapter 21 . 2/25/2011
*Loud squeal* You really dedicated a chapter to me? That makes me so happy and I feel honored. Thank you so much. I love you.
I could not believe who the traitor turned out to be, and that hurt me a little, because I liked him so much. Thank you for not killing him yet. I know that Seph is going to eventually, but I am happy he has not done it yet. Seph's feeling about him stood out in the final scene and it was really good to see.
I like how Seph is handling his new position as General, and like Alex said in her review, he is sexy. I also like he gets to use his own tactics and not have to follow the orders of someone who is not as good at tactics.
I am sorry but I laughed when Seph to Angeal about Gen almost dying and then saying he almost did too. I giggled cause I thought of Angeal saying, that sucks you almost died Seph, I am going to go make sure Gen is alright. That thought made me laugh.
Those stupid reporters. They made me mad and I hope Seph blows them up for the story they wrote about him. Maybe he could run them over with a car. Using Masamune on them to kill them would be a dishonor to Masamune.
I am glad that it was Gen who delivered the news though. It lead to wonderful Seph/Gen interaction. Gen being haughty walking into the kitchen was cute and so was his question game that he made Seph play. The massage was not even erotic but it was still steamy and I liked how Gen did not let Seph tell him no for sex at the end. I love those two.
I was so mad at Kyle for talking to the reporters, because I find him kind of cute. Maybe he learned from his mistake.
It was very nice how you laid out the village and the mako bath and everything. Aside from the setting being pretty, the interaction with Seph and Clark was great, but it made me sad. It also made me sad that everything fell into the mako lake, but it was still pretty. I agree with the Turk, too bad none of the reporters saw that. I am wondering what Seph and Gen's plans are to get back at the reporters who wrote that stupid story. Maybe they are thinking about my idea to run then over with a car. :D
Again I love you so much for giving the chapter to me. Big Hugs. And sorry I am so late, I have not had a chance to get on fanfic for a while.
| Zorrina93 chapter 21 . 2/23/2011
I...wow...Your writing is amazing... I cannot honestly come up with word to describe how much I love this story.
Your representation of Sephiroth is so true to his character it's incredible to read. (Is english really your second language? I would never ever have guessed!)
I started to read this a couple of days ago and it was like picking up a published novel. I found it hard to stop at the end of a chapter and not continue reading.
PLease let this story continue I can't wait to read more of your story.
| AlexJ69 chapter 21 . 2/22/2011
Okay, starting off, I love Sephiroth being General Sephiroth. Just picturing him going around, giving orders is a sexy as it gets. I'm like, yes General, anything you say General. And yeah, Gen feels like that too, only he wont admit it. I really do like how Seph secretly questions the motivations of his men, like wondering if they are mocking him, because he never got close enough to understand how they think, so he would wonder about things like that.
The whole situation with Clark, and Seph's thoughts about him until he sees him again later, is heartbreaking. And the reason it's so sad is because there is no one in the right on this one. I mean, yeah, he ordered his men to kill Seph, but that's how these things work. Clark believes what he did was morally the right thing to do, and Seph believes in loyalty to Shin-Ra. Not because he believes in their cause, but because he is a loyal person. There is no black and white, right or wrong in this situation, and that's one of the things I really love about this whole story. You write as life is, colored in varying shades of gray.
Oh, the media...gotta love em (*sarcastic roll of eyes*) but I did like how Seph brushed them off at first, just too bad it backfired on him, and other people love to take to the press. And leave it to journalists to take things out of context and make up their own news...whatever seems interesting and will sell papers. I felt like Seph did when I read the article that was written. I wanted to choke the journalist, and Kyle. That was such a terrible article to have hanging over Seph's head. It's funny how people in the real world do this all the time. They read into things, or only take bits and pieces of what is said or meant and turn it into their own thing. It funny how art mirrors life.
Oh, the Seph/Gen scene was wonderful. I adore how Gen handles Seph. Gen speaks in riddles, not telling Seph exactly what he means, and Seph gets frustrated, but Gen just walks away. It's too funny. Their dynamic is so awesome and I love it so much. And then they get more intimate. LOVES. I cracked up when Gen asked Seph if he masturbated. That's Gen for ya. The other questions Gen asked were cute. I love this kind of Seph/Gen fluff, even though its not really fluff. Of course it led to sex. That was Gen's plan to begin with. God bless that amazing redhead.
The last scene was awesome. And the name of the ruins reminded me a lot of the name the ancient Egyptians called their underworld, Duat. Maybe you didn't mean to, but I drew a connection. The entire scene was just visually stunning, and by that I mean that you wrote it so well, that I could literally taste the Mako. The rite of the Mako bath sounded neat, I don't think Seph felt the same way. It was nice to see that seeing Clark again really did hurt Seph, and I wonder if the little talk they had at the end will influence the General in anyway. But it was sheer amazing how the whole ruins collapsed into the Mako lake...PURE WIN. I could see it perfectly, and Seph's escape was a great touch.
And YAY for new, young Turks. XD
This was a great chapter dear, and if I missed anything in the review, I will tell you about it in IM.
| Avid Fantasy chapter 20 . 1/18/2011
Oh goodness, you updated and what a wonderful update. I was so happy when I got the update message in my inbox.
I felt so bad for Seph when he was in the meeting and started to blame himself for so many SOLDIERs dying, but it wasn't his fault. I hope he understands that.
I liked how quickly Seph adjusted to being general even though he was a little insecure and shy about it. And Gen's reaction when they were in private and it was just Gen, Angeal and Seph was so cute. He's already jealous, but I could not help but laugh. I LOLed when Gen asked if General Seph was better in bed than SOLDIER 1st Seph. That was funny.
I thought Gen breaking curfew to visit Seph was sweet. I loved that Gen did not get in trouble for doing it either, although anyone else would have. I thought that their conversation was sweet and bonding in its own way, even if it was kind of guarded. Seph and Gen are just like that though, they never learn how to really talk to each other, and I think that is one of the dynamics about them as a couple that I love so much.
Oh my gosh, I can not believe that one of Seph's own troops shot him. I am so glad he only hit him in the arm, and I am also glad the guy is dead.
So who is the traitor? I can not figure it out. Is it Lazard? I know he was in the game. Do not tell me though because I want to read it, so hurry up with the next chapter, ok?