|Reviews for Cutting Loose|
| Ziltoid chapter 19 . 12/16/2014
Kinda regrettable the story was apparently dropped. Was a nice NaruTen fic, with a neat role for Kitty-chan, but the lack of an ending is rather disappointing :(
| EagleJarl chapter 16 . 12/15/2014
Good fight chapter and I liked the combination jutsu from Naruto and Tenten. A few problems, though:
1) Having Maeko suddenly come up with some magical super-bloodline that had no foreshadowing? Deus Ex Machina.
2) Expositiony conversation is expositiony.
3) The part where Naruto tells Tenten about Maeko's bloodline, and then they talk about doing the Flaming Metal Storm jutsu and then they talk about how Tenten has been planning to surprise Naruto with her new fire chakra? Starting from where the laser hit the tree up to when they actually started doing the jutsu, I read all that dialogue out loud with a stop watch; it took over 3m15s to get through it all, and that doesn't count any extra time that Tenten spent rifling through her pockets to find stuff. There is no way that Itachi just stood there for that long while they chatted.
4) After the jutsu went off, while in the *world* didn't they just run? Instead, they stood around talking for 1m30s. (Again, I timed it with a stopwatch, again that time doesn't include the time they spent doing anything but talking.)
5) Itachi captured Naruto, then was distracted by Sasuke long enough that Naruto gets away. Naruto and Kisame start fighting, then Itachi shows up. Basically everyone else is down at this point, so it's Naruto and Temari against Itachi and Kisame, either of whom can beat them both. Why did the Akatsuki just run off instead of recapturing Naruto?
| EagleJarl chapter 15 . 12/15/2014
Wow, talking really IS a free action!
Ok, really it was Itachi taking the time to set up traps while they were in a genjutsu. Still, why didn't he just take them out instead? Should have been pretty easy, since they were just standing there.
Nice to see Gaara get smacked around a little without outright bashing. The boy is irritating enough that I don't mind having him get taken down a peg.
I look forward to the conclusion.
| EagleJarl chapter 11 . 12/13/2014
That battle was excellent. You did a great job of making it clear that Yugara's power and skill were utterly dominating without making it seem like the others had simply been Worfed, and the win at the end made sense based on the foreshadowing you'd done. I was a little surprised that Gai didn't open the Gates but meh. In particular, I like when he juggled Naruto and used him as a shield / weapon. I was surprised that he didn't shove him underwater and try to drown him, but it was believable that he didn't - it would have given Naruto a solid position to attack from.
At the same time, exposition thinking is exposition. You told us that Yugara's arm was practically blown off and then promptly had him repeat that fact in his thoughts. More importantly, you had him do the disuption technique, then promptly exposition what he'd done. Don't assume your readers are too dopey to figure things out. The only thing we needed to know there was that the technique disrupted his Tailed Beast as well, and that could have been a sentence instead of a repetitive paragraph. Better yet, it could have been something that the other characters SAW instead of having him explicitly think about it.
| EagleJarl chapter 10 . 12/13/2014
Couple of nits:
"Ensorcelled", not "enscrolled"
"Clinch my victory / position / whatever", not "clench"
Most of the conversation in this chapter is exposition for the audience - the characters should all know everything that's being discussed so they wouldn't be discussing it.
I liked the "put him in a genjutsu" solution to handling Naruto; very slick. And you were clever to think of the "ninja in constant pain can't be genjutsu'd" thing - I haven't seen that before, and it makes perfect sense.
Looking forward to the big Naruto / Yagura fight next chapter. I hope that Naruto gets whomped; he can certainly out-muscle Yagura, but Yagura is so much more experienced that he really should pull off the win. Either way, it'll be exciting.
| EagleJarl chapter 9 . 12/12/2014
This chapter was pretty heavy added. You don't need to have Guy and Kakashi explain that Mei is trying to control Naruto through flirtation, and so on. Just show the original action happening, then roll along.
Turtle and sparrow summons, huh? I wonder who holds the naked mole rat contract.
| EagleJarl chapter 8 . 12/12/2014
Well, that was interesting. Looks like Naruto just started World War IV.
| EagleJarl chapter 7 . 12/12/2014
Concrit: several times in each chapter you words left out or repeated. Reading through should spot them easily enough now that you've been away from writing them for a while and can see them with fresh eyes.
I was surprised when Naruto didn't give up the details; it seems like there should have been a simpler way to handle it but what he did seems about in character.
I'm trying to guess who the jonin will be. Gai, Kakashi, and...Anko? She's got some genjutsu as I recall and she's pretty badass. Not sure who else.
| EagleJarl chapter 5 . 12/12/2014
That was a great fight. Both of them fought smart and played to their own advantages, which was good to see. Naruto sticking around and fighting at the end instead of trying to escape or make more clones...not his brightest move ever, but very in character.
| EagleJarl chapter 4 . 12/12/2014
Hard to believe that a jounin wouldn't check for poison in food that an unknown ninja gave him but, okay.
TenTen didn't put it together quite as fast as I would have thought, and it would have been smart for her to leave a note for the guys before running out, but she DID figure it out, and I have to admire her guts.
| EagleJarl chapter 3 . 12/12/2014
"What's a jinchuuriki?" Heh.
I found your link over on TvTropes under the recommended fics. I'm enjoying this, although you've done a little TOO good a job keeping Naruto in character. He's just as annoying as in canon.
| loopy dane chapter 19 . 12/9/2014
Fun so far, but you don't have even one team that passed the 2nd stage the correct way? There was still one earth scroll out there, it should have been possible...
| Guest chapter 19 . 11/24/2014
Please continue this story!
| Guest chapter 6 . 11/19/2014
were is the passion as i am reading you have a few things that would be brilliant but do to a lack of emotions that lead to it or that should be there makes it all flat. for a few examples guy should have tried to stopped yugito from revealing an S class secret. and after that naruto was no were near as devistated as he should have been and he got back up way to fast even if the hokage told him it would take more effort. next one is that naruto should have been abused to make the offer more atractive to naruto and an explanation of the PR campaign that makes kumo more exepting of jinjuriki and their is more but i don't want to make this too long to put it short you need more emotional pull
| Guest chapter 4 . 11/19/2014
the reveal he is a jinjuriki had too little emotions to work period and why did guy let it happen naruto's status as a jinjuriki is suppose to be an S class secret punishable by death. the only way to salvage this is to have a political shit storm for kumo trying to steal naruto, konohas jinjuriki aka konohas weapon. and are you sure you want to go naruto was just ignored because i just don't see that happening at least a few attempts by some drunks