Reviews for The Immortal's Child
Tee chapter 5 . 3/22/2013
i think your story was waaaaaaaaayyyy to fast, add more detail next, time (not for the *ahem* parts)
Anon chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
Just gotta comment on two things, firstly I'm pretty sure at some point in the books someone mentions a lack of fertility for immortals? and second unless you have decided immortals pregnancy happens super fast, taking a test the morning after would be useless. I'm not trying to flame, just a bit confused.
brittney chapter 2 . 12/2/2012
Hello, my name is Brittney, and I just wunted to say that I saw that u said it was your first time...I understand. Wen I wrote my first book, it was really bad...im not saying that urs is, its just that you probably wanted tovdo a little more research before you put that stuff in there. First, u can't tell that ur pregnant right after you do that. Second, it would take a lot longer for a baby to be born. e because its an immortal baby, Idk but it was confusing. U have an awesome imagination, but u might want to put more detail into your story oh, and this is just constructive critisam, not trying to be mean or anything :)
Jessica chapter 5 . 11/15/2012
I loved your story of Ever and Damen having a kid! Alysson Noel should have wrote that it would have made the book way more awesome.. expect mabey they should wait tll the end of everlasting so it be like a couple years later so that the books would have lasted longer!
Anonymous chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
I'd like to say that overall, the story was not well written at all. Not only were there run-on sentences, there were a lot of sentences that didn't make sense in the way they were written. I understand this is a work of fiction, but you need to have things that make sense. There is absolutely no way Ever could possibly find out she is pregnant a few hours after they've had sex. Also, there was some illiteracy. "Immortal-ness" is not a word, you should have thought to maybe look up the word "immortality" which is what you should have used. I suggest you work on your writing skills.
Tobias' Heart chapter 3 . 6/18/2012
Update sooner!
Tobias' Heart chapter 2 . 6/18/2012
They're having a baby :)
Tobias' Heart chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
But she can't know that soon, right?
Love is Fearless chapter 4 . 5/6/2011
great story, extremely well written
anamous chapter 5 . 4/6/2011
i really like the concept but the writing was really not very good. (run-on sentences)
lowshie chapter 2 . 12/2/2010
ahaha october 1st is my birthday! srry and this is a pretty good story :-)
aiden-san chapter 5 . 10/4/2010
omg i am loveing it so far
madisnk chapter 5 . 7/11/2010
aaww how cute! it is too bad its so short... maybe u can rewrite it in a few months and make it longer :)
Amanda-Roach15 chapter 4 . 7/6/2010
you know thats not cool they are so short and pretty cool. plez update soon.
madisnk chapter 4 . 6/28/2010
aaaww why was it so short? and in bold? siiiigh... update plz
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