|Reviews for Before and Beyond the Beginning|
| Queen Ghidorah chapter 12 . 6/3/2010
In-TENSE. I hope you plan to update again soon because I am so hopelessly hooked. Even the profanity seems to have a legitimate place, and I usually hate profanity. Oddly enough, the only word I'm having difficulty accepting is 'wanker'. I just can't hear it in Cheech Marin's voice, lol.
| tearthgrrl chapter 12 . 6/1/2010
Alright, don't get your panties in a knot. Of COURSE you deserve a review for this! It had everything (I want Banzai to kill Fisadi slowly and painfully, if you were wanting suggestions...). Hope Ed can get to Banzai and Banzai get to Shenzi before it's too late. (Also, Shenzi could possibly help mutilate Fisadi, couldn't she?)
| SGT.CJC chapter 12 . 6/1/2010
You got a cheek chum! You have a nerve to take months in updating then say if we don't review you don't update. This chapter was nearly smaller than the others and you have the cheek to imply it's our fault. (Kidding, never flamed and never plan to)
Good expansion of the story, I really hope Fisadi falls off a cliff or dies particularly slowly.
Come on Breech Loader, you really need to keep the story going. By the way, since Fisadi isn't in the 'Lion King' and Banzai and Shenzi are friends,(probably more) as well as Shenzi being Matriarch. All in all I say this: Kill Fisadi BEFORE the hyena's role in the start of the film. As in kill him dead, as dead as the skeleton Ed plays the drums on.
Keep it up.
| gilgamesh0 chapter 12 . 6/1/2010
Ahhh at last new chapter! The patience was profitable ;)
I must congratulate you Breech. Recently no story engrossed me this way as that one.
I just cannot wait. What happend with Banzai? I have a hope that that's all will end well.
Million reviews ? Its kinda impossible... I think so XP
| Rhonda Petrie chapter 12 . 5/31/2010
Wow, I cannot believe Shenzi's mother just passed away; that is such a hard blow for her to take. And now she might have to compete against the other females in order to become the next matriarch of the hyena pack. Something tells me that Fisadi might have to do something with Kiruu's death; it was almost as if he was happy she was dead. Poor Banzai; I hope he finds his way out of the heap of bones and convince Shenzi to be his mate. I wonder if there's still any hope for him.
| SGT.CJC chapter 11 . 5/6/2010
Wow! that WAS an unpleasant ending. Well done on the writing sorry I missed the update but my computer was acting up.
Well done keep it up.
| Fangsire chapter 11 . 5/1/2010
Been following this story since you started it, just haven't had time to leave a review, and for that I am sorry. I've enjoyed reading what's happened so far, and look forward to what happens next. Hopefully Fisadi will get his in the upcoming chapters.
| SGT.CJC chapter 9 . 4/8/2010
Hi sorry for being late. Computers get sick you know. good chapter and keep it up.
Hope you're closer to two million revs. (Har-har)
| tearthgrrl chapter 10 . 4/7/2010
Counting this, only 9,0 reviews to go. Loved the new chapter. And I really think your idea of Scar's first plot to kill Simba is clever. Still, it does seem a bit un-Scar-ish for Scar to hold some leverage over the trio, without any threats or downsides to make them go as well as good sides.
But maybe that's just your way of portraying how much power Scar thinks he has over the trio, by simply only offering them good things. It's a nice way to portray such a conniving villain.
Anyhow, my apologies for not reviewing earlier chapters as much, but I'm ear-deep in finishing some updates of my own. Still, this was worth the time. :)
| tearthgrrl chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Nice! Glad to see an update! Dang, Fisadi is such a [bleeping sound], hope Shenzi sees him in his true light.
Keep it going!
| Rhonda Petrie chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Well, this was a very good update. I cannot believe that Banzai managed to kill Chukizi in a fight! And it is really scary to see how FAR Chukizi would go to make sure that his son becomes the alpha male in the pack, even if it meant seducing Shenzi himself and killing his own son. To me that is really, really disturbing. And it was good of Shenzi to defuse the situation before it got worse.
| SGT.CJC chapter 8 . 3/15/2010
whao! I didn't expect that to happen, well you were right about strange and interesting but also in my oppinion slightly off. (Even if I was depressed out my mind I wouldn't speak that way about a woman even if I thought she couldn't hear. But it fit so well and now for motives that are only plain to you, you have now made Shenzi extremely pissed at Banzai. I must congratulate you on this chapter as you have kept me reading due to the fact that I so didn't see that coming. Well done Breech loader you've done it again no mistakes whatsoever and a 'dues ex machina' that would make the thriller writers proud. Outstanding job.
Please update soon.
| TigressPL chapter 7 . 3/9/2010
I'm not sure what did you mean by being the 'anal' type, but you're right about the cubs. I still can't stop wondering how did feline animals got such dog-like appearance though.
As for the story, it seems to be developing very well. The romance thread, unwaveringly the leading one, fits the personae's maturation. Fisadi's even brasher in his courting methods, Banzai's actions are more thoughtful... The insight into Shenzi's way of thinking about her two 'possibilities' was also showing that certain feature well. Also, I don't know if it's done purposely, but you repeated one of Fisadi's lines in both 6th and 7th chapter ;)
Now, a word on the single scenes. Though introduced briefly, the scene of Mosi's death is written not half bad. Outcome of this event's also well-thought, but what stuck out most for me is the 'Banzai-punch bag' topos. Nearly every story including Banzai makes him the most unlucky hyena ever. I wonder if it's just the influence of the movie - in which he really seemed to have no luck - or is there something more to it...
On to the Rafiki-based scene in chapter 6. As it has already been mentioned, it is definitely fun to read, but what's more important - for me at least - is how you wrote the very scene, as it is clearly based on Simba's confrontation with the old ape near the ending of the original movie. A common mistake in such moments is copying too much of the original event into fiction, making it sound fake and suggesting that author had no better ideas as to how to write a scene. Thankfully, you're making a great use of the Disney basis and letting the characters sound plausibly.
In response to your author's note in chapter 6 - why would a year of difference in age mean the trio cannot be siblings (however weird such thought sounds)? Sure, they wouldn't all be born at the same time, but the Internet suggests pregnancy time for a hyena would be under 150 days, so there shouldn't be a problem for hyena siblings to have only a year of age difference. Unless the official count was made in 'hyena years', as then you'd probably be right.
To say a word about chapter 7 too - as it practically consists of a single scene I'll refer to it en masse - the beginning's humorous and plausible. Even though in the whole meerkat-involving scene there's not much added to the plot of the movie, it goes smoothly with the rest of the story. Only the part of meeting Scar seems to have needed more attention from you, especially when Scar says that "the cub born to Mufasa and Sarabi is a lion cub". Did they expect an elephant?
Also, if you're as meticulous as your author's notes suggest, you might want to correct one of Shenzi's names, as it's actually Jacquelina.
And, in reference to your last published words, TLK 4 really sounds far too self-confident, but remember that TLK 3 was alternatively called TLK one-and-a-half - you might as well think of your work as, I don't know, TLK one-and-one-third ;)
Good luck with further writing!
| SGT.CJC chapter 7 . 3/8/2010
wow! that was... unexpected, I always saw TLK3 Hakuna Matata as a little bit of a spoof. I thought it was a good insight into Timon and Pumbaa's story but some parts were just a bit too silly, (not that that is a bad thing) but it was odd to see it put in this story.
The meeting with Scar was as I thought it would be I just thought it may be a little more casual, and before Simba was born, but then I'm thick.
And I can just imagine Banzai's reaction when Timon proposes to Senzi during the stall tactic,( if you decide to put that in) shredded Meerkat anyone.
And yes calling this TLK4 is a bit ambitious but who knows it may turn out good enough to be one. I just know a few fics that have done that and turned out to be the bad seeds Zazu ate. So I'm just saying 'Be prepared'.
You still have about three years in which time to eradicate Fisadi and get to BanzaixShenzi as well as build Scar's relationship with them,(assuming Simbe and TLK characters age like humans.
Very well done keep it up and I'm looking forward to the rest of the story.
| Opal Koboi the Evil chapter 6 . 2/28/2010
'What are you, a fortune cookie?'
HA HA HA HA HA HA. Oh my god I laughed out loud at that part. Fisadi you moron stop gloating! Fisadi is starting to get on my nerves. Evil little jerk. But anyway, I like the tension, and how the hyenas think. I LOVE real hyenas. A hyena is one of the only things that can kill a lion.
I can't think of what to put here,