|Reviews for White Collar MD|
| Gabriel London chapter 1 . 11/13/2012
Ummmmmmm. I really like your idea; it's great. The code is clever and I liked how you had everyone try to guess what was wrong.
However, I would suggest some major proof reading. There were many grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. (may I suggest the use of commas?) This makes the story hard to read. Secondly, stories containing medicine should be well researched. E.i: Liver failure isn't treated with antibiotics, as it is not an infection. Liver failure causes a yellow tint to the eyes and skin, not bloodshot eyes. The characters and plot were inconsistent; this makes your writing seem lazy and unpolished.
I say this with the best of intentions and keep practicing.
| jjgeraghty chapter 5 . 7/11/2012
Loved the story!
| MichaelaTheUchiha chapter 5 . 6/28/2012
You forget an "l" in "Fowler" in the message and you can't use antibiotics to treat liver failure. You have to use dialysis for a while, depending on how bad the liver failure is.
Other than that, okay story. Not the greatest, but not the worst either. Not too many grammar mistakes, but the sentences were rather choppy and the story didn't flow well. A lot of the characters were also OOC, but the fact that you chose to show Chase as someone who wants to decide who lives or dies, especially when that person is a felon, was a good way to show how he still isn't over killing the African dictator. Nice plot twists, though.
I do not mean to offend you, if anything I stated did offend you. I just wrote the review so you can learn how to grow into a better writer. Of course, this fanfiction was two years ago, so you've probably gotten better. I say probably because I wasn't that better of a writer after 7 years (started writing when I was seven, and while I gradually got better over seven years, I was still a horrible writer 'till fifteen where I suddenly just skyrocketed into awesomeness).
Thanks for writing this piece of fanfiction.
| EpikalStorms chapter 2 . 6/17/2012
like Anxiety symptoms. Idk. Great Story.
| Idreamofivan chapter 2 . 12/18/2010
I love the idea of this fiction, and the fiction itself is good, even though some things do not flow awesomely, it is good. What is driving me a little crazy is why is it written in present tense? And even if you wrote in present tense some parts are past tense, which makes it very confusing.
| DaniBD chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
Well, this is a really cool crossover and I'm exited to finish reading it! It would be cool to have a crossover episode with House and White Collar. Almost as cool as NCIS and White Collar. XD
| Naomi Hansen chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
I like the whole idea... But the first chapter was so short that it kinda made me cringe a little. (There were also a few grammatical errors and mistakes with punctuations, but the shortness of the chapter was what caught my attention.)
Don't worry. It's easy to fix stuff like this over time. :D
| HiDiNgFrOmYoU chapter 5 . 6/27/2010
Dang I was wrong :( I liked the story though. CLever coding in the letter
| HiDiNgFrOmYoU chapter 3 . 6/27/2010
Wonderful, simply wonderful. I take back Hypoglycemia. It generally doens't cause vomiting. Considering it all I'm going with the Oil poisoning but I dunno. Hope the crash was just because of the meds but I guess I'll have to read and see. :) I know I'm a little late but this game is fun.
| HiDiNgFrOmYoU chapter 2 . 6/27/2010
Considering it would be relatively easy to spot a stroke and it would probably be revealed on a CT scan.
I'm gonna go with Hypoglycemic attak(and Hypoglycemia as an obvious tag along), Eucalyptus Oil poisoning, or Amphetamine abuse but considering I seriously doubt Neal would use amphetamines I'm going to The Eucalyptus oil or Hypoclycemia.
As far as first chapters go this is a great one. I can't wait to read on.
| Darra Greymist chapter 4 . 2/28/2010
erm, just to point out? Candy STRIPER. Not stripper. Kinda important...
| mjmcca chapter 5 . 2/23/2010
Gosh, where to start. If you are going to write about medical conditions you really should seek advice from a medical professional first. Or at least do really good research.
When a patient is admitted with a fever they have blood cultures drawn, which would show the Strep infection in his blood. Liver failure is seen in a comprehensive metabolic panel, a blood test, which would be drawn on admission. You claim the labs were normal. Also a person becomes jaundiced in liver failure (the skin takes on a yellow cast).
An MRI is not a good diagnostic tool for showing most cardiac diseases, unless you are looking for infection and even then they are not the best test to order. So, it is impossible to rule out Cardiac issues with only an MRI.
The type of toxic shock you are using as the illness in this story can not be caused by a closed bruise. Streptococcal Toxic Shock Syndrome (STSS) is usually caused by open skin wounds (like a cut) rather than closed skin wounds (like a bruise). Plus you failed to mention the bruise in the list of findings.
It can be caused by an internal strep infection like strep throat but that is an extremely rare occurrence.
| randomxobsessions chapter 2 . 2/16/2010
Okay, I do not know what Neal has, but this is interesting.
White Collar and House are some of my favorite shows.
But, please, do your readers a favor?
The mistakes make it difficult to read, and it makes you look like a bad writer.
You're going to loose readers like that.
**goes to read the rest of the story.**
| CuttlefishShiz chapter 5 . 2/14/2010
| TheCresantMoonWolf chapter 5 . 2/4/2010
I have cheaked almost every disease there is i asked my mom to she was a nure it is not vertigo or copd or cancer or ricketts what in th world is it at least give us what cadagory it is in.