|Reviews for Ratchet and Clank Future: The White Tigress|
| Veldinmaster chapter 9 . 8/21/2011
That was awesome, i was worried that you stoppped then i got the email alert and it kicked ass
| Toxic Ink chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
Amazing. Mind blowing. Your skill at this is TERRIFIC. Hell, lengthen this up to about 3 Chapters in 1, and you've got yourself a best-selling novel. KEEP ON TRUCKIN', DUDE!
| freewolf770 chapter 8 . 2/28/2011
this is gr8 stuff! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON! :]
| The Dragon Knight chapter 3 . 2/17/2011
so far so good.
your a hellva writer
| Ratchet Soulraven chapter 1 . 1/9/2011
Excellent stuff. Detail is everywhere in this adventure. I have yet to read the entire thing as my patience easily wans, but I'll do so when I can.
| Veldinmaster chapter 7 . 9/8/2010
great chapter, this is way better than the dimensionator being the lombax secret
| BlackDragon01 chapter 7 . 5/26/2010
i love this story soo much please continur the story so i don't die from BOREDUM!
| Flameheart11 chapter 7 . 4/30/2010
I so wanna know what happens next! Venus is awesome. Continue this story soon!
| JMH guy chapter 7 . 4/4/2010
hi, great story. may i sugest "animal crossing:heroes to the rescue" by hoverbike girl? trust me its awsome. by the way, female lombaxes dont have tailes.
| Swordsman289 chapter 7 . 3/9/2010
Amazing chapter! I like how you describe the battle scene, it was pretty intense! I wonder what the Shraalites are going to do with Clank. If it's something to do with "live-bait", it's either a trap or something terrible for the heroes. I'll just have to wait and find out. Update soon!
| Swordsman289 chapter 6 . 3/3/2010
Pretty good, I like your story so far. I have some constructive criticism for you: when you end a character's dialogue, you have to start a new line to do the next character's dialogue. It's a bit confusing on whose saying what if they're on the same paragraph. Also, if you're switching between characters, like what you did with Ratchet and Clank, put a horizontal ruler so you can indicate that you're changing scenes or perspectives. It was a bit confusing for me when Ratchet and Venus were going to the Apogee Space Station and suddenly you changed to Clank getting toss into his cell at the flagship. If you put the ruler in, it would hint readers that it's changing perspectives. Besides that, I like your idea for this story and can't wait for the next chapters.
| xXxAvelinaxXx chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
Ah i love you! yes i shall marry u! i have recently found out about ratchet and clank, and i must say, i am obsessed , and seeing as i am a fanfic twat, i thought 'why not see if they do some for games?' and the first one i checked was ratchet and clank, because its the newest game i have atm lol. and i found your story! its.. AWESOME! please keep it going! i wanna know what happens!
Me lurvs u! marry me XD
Luv ya xAvelinax
| SLTheOneAndAwesome chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
An intriguing idea. I hope you update soon, I'd like to see where this story is going.
A few things that ate at me as I was reading though:
Ratchet's character is a little off. No worries, I have issues with this too... major issues. But Ratchet seems a little too snippy when they're in Aphelion. Sure, he gets frustrated, but he knows when to accept that the other two are probably right. He most certainly wouldn't yell at Clank and Aphelion to shut up. And when they crash he's a little too quick to give Aphelion up. He's been travelling through space with her for, what, years now? And she's sentient. He'd have gotten attached, I'm sure.
You also probably threw in the romance between Ratchet in Venus a little too quickly. They just met! I mean, there's love at first sight and all, but DAMN! There was no build up to it at all. They're just like "Ooh, hot person of the opposite gender of my species! I want them!" You don't even really give Ratchet's thoughts on Venus until she makes that comment about not being pretty where he jumps to say how beautiful she is. And that's pretty out of character for Ratchet too. He's the kind of person who plays it cool around girls... although he did propose to Sasha over a VG90 XDD But unless the person was supposed to be more beautiful than Aphrodite or something, he wouldn't be so eager to tell her she was beautiful. It's just not Ratchet-like to say something like that.
Also... wasn't Venus the name of the robot Clank gets with in Deadlocked? Huh.
A bit of advice, as it's a problem with a lot of OCs, I think you should be careful with Venus's charcter and the part she plays in the story. The fact that she's a Ratchet love interest so quickly could very easily turn her into a major Mary Sue. The fact that she's "beautiful and graceful, yet brave and ferocious like a tiger" and that she's some sort of famous myth don't help her cause either. I realize you were half asleep when you were writing this, I've come up with INSANELY stupid stuff when I'm that tired, or something so freaking amazing, but write it out horribly.
But I do have to say I'm pretty interested in the Lombax myth and would really like to see where that part of the story leads. I'd love to see this story continue and I really hope my rambly bits of constructive criticism didn't put you off. I can't wait for the next chapter