|Reviews for Heart and Soul|
| desireejones99 chapter 80 . 2h
An amazing story, so very compelling
| elgringo12 chapter 80 . 5/29
This is a brilliant story. I couldn't put it down (no, literally. I lost a lot of sleep because I couldn't tear myself from my phone!) I have wondered about the distinct lack of hagrid. I think his name was mentioned twice in the whole story and never stated if he went after the giants or not. But that's about the only thing I can think of in any sort of negative vain. Loved it from beginning to end, nice work X
| desireejones99 chapter 33 . 5/27
Sbould have been "round up the usual suspects" That being all known Deatheaters just 3 drops and it would have beendone. Everyone talks about Malfoy's power, but they all Forget that Potter is Ancient and Most Noble, Black is Anceint and Noble. So thats my rant, and now on to the next 20 some odd chapters. Thanks for this exceptional story
| bleme chapter 80 . 5/20
I almost didn't read this because the prologue was so slow and dreary but I am now glad that I plugged through, although the author did return to that mood once or twice later on.
What really sets this story apart from the rest is that it that all the characters personalities stay as closer to canon than any other. There is no super-Harry or evil-Dumbledore. This really seems like what could have happened if just 1 (or 2) little things changed.
While not perfect, the writing errors are few enough that it is never a struggle to understand what the author meant to say. The author does seem to over-use flashbacks, almost like he is using this story to practice the technique. He also tends to repeat himself. I bet he could cut 200,000 words easily and make it a much tighter story. I often found myself skimming past paragraph after paragraph that were just re-hashed.
All-in-all, I highly recommend this story. It was truly refreshing to read a story where Harry manages to plug through with expelliarmus and reducto instead of finding a secret book with Nuclearmus Bombus to win with.
| Aya1229 chapter 17 . 5/17
Personally I woulda screamed my fool head off at Molly because she went way way WAY too far with that howler
| Memoirs of a Dream chapter 27 . 5/17
I'm really fascinated by this fic. Your characterization and the slow-building romance are done skillfully, something which is a rare treat in any writing. However, I'm really struggling with your wordiness. You sometimes take paragraphs to say what could more easily and more understandably be said in a sentence. I feel like I'm slogging through a textbook and sometimes the sentences, especially dependent clauses, are so long that I forget what the beginning of the sentence was. For example, in this chapter Tracey has "an opinion which was certainly not grounded in anything other than the truth" but all you actually needed to say is "... Which was not untrue" or, better yet, "... Which was true." I could pull out other examples but I think one is enough. As much as I want to finish this fic to the end and find out where your intriguing plot is going, I doubt I'll even make it halfway. It's too much hard work to sort through all of those extra words. I'm not trying to flame; I'm just giving feedback which I hope will be useful to you in future projects.
| Aya1229 chapter 11 . 5/17
All well and good with that conversation between Hermione and Fleur. However, no one has sat to talk with Harry about this. He IS wholy and completely unaware that haveing a 2nd wife is not impossible
| Anderfail chapter 38 . 5/14
Good chapter, thought the conversation was very realistic and sweet. This is easily the most realistic threeway relationship at .
| Anderfail chapter 33 . 5/14
Sometimes radical change needs to happen very quickly. The American Revolution proved changed can be radical and for the better. Tradition for the sake of tradition is never, ever a good thing when it comes to government because that is how oppressive government arise. The only one who has any sense at all in this chapter is Harry, the rest appear to be clueless. Not surprising though when you consider how illogical the magical world is at times.
An American style democracy would probably horrify everyone there yet it is an infinitely better system of government. It's honestly amazing that the muggleborn haven't joined with the muggle government and crushed the rest of the magical world in the UK. Statute of secrecy concerns aside, in real life there is no way people would accept being second class citizens for long, not when they grew up in a free society. There would be a lot of very very angry people.
Personally I think you went way too soft on the magical world in this chapter. I understand you are not going for gritty realism like some other stories have done, but more criticism is warranted than what is given here.
| heksie chapter 80 . 5/7
long fic, nice ending.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 80 . 5/5
When I wrote my first review, I didn't know you were already published. In hindsight, I should have known that, lol.
Thanks for your persistence and finishing the story!
| V-rcingetorix chapter 68 . 5/5
Ok, just read chapter 67.
Overall, this is incredibly well written. You have meshed the characters and the plot in a fashion worthy of a Top Ten author for the Times. Descriptions and conversations flow well, and while some of the discussions last a little long, I think that's only because this website tends to focus on shorter conversations.
There are two items I do not like in this story, though. First, is how J.S. outright tells Harry he would override any decision his daughter would make, ending the contract. Frankly, that was out of his hands after Fleur decided to accept it. As she is of age, he can no longer give her orders.
Now, he can threaten Harry with ordering his daughter for as long as she is underage (this was written pre-DH I assume?), but only to that point. After that, it's mitts off.
The second thing is how accepting Harry is of the whole Contract idea. You could have made two more chapters out of his fighting the idea.
However, those are the only objections I've had with the story. Each story should be allowed one impossible thing, and the Contract was what I judge to be that thing. Everything else has been superb; well worth the time to read.
Keep up the good work!
| scifianime chapter 53 . 4/28
Love your story so far!
Noted that the last paragraph of this chapter is not consistent with your following chapter in that Mdm Bones, JS and the Aurors emerged from the office (in this chapter), whilst the next chapter had Dumbledore going into the besieged office and retrieving the occupants, not to mention JS' injury.
| Lerris chapter 80 . 4/30
Overall this story is good technically and pretty good all in all. The usage of the canon bad guy set may have weakened it somewhat. Length compared to actual content may have also weakened it somewhat. I suspect this story could have been told in perhaps half the existing length. Fleur automatically offering to share with Hermione, was, perhaps a bit too easy. I wonder if it would have been more interesting if they got to a similar conclusion but for initially perhaps Fleur and Hermione both determined to be the only one, contract or not. It is also notable that in this story I don't think Fleur and Hermione ever fought once. (I skimmed some, so I may have missed it, but I don't recall any.) At any rate, while they are both good people, Harry is a finite resource. I can't imagine them not fighting a little bit. Draco was of course played as the stock incompetent bad guy, save for the one scene with Hermione. Snape was actually interesting, since one could at least respect him as a character. Of course this does have the concept of magical oaths and such, which I'm still less than sure is a good idea. One other thing that was notable is Lucius was portrayed as basically the definition of evil sick and twisted. That kind of evil is not all that common really. It is generally about power or money. People may allow or even cause very bad things to happen for either of those, but that does not necessarily mean that was their intent. They simply do not care as long as their objectives are met. Basically, my suggestion is to consider making your bad guys characters that, while bad, are not bad by every definition of the word. I.E. perhaps we could have seen a bit in the story where it is obvious that despite everything else, Lucius actually loved Draco. Basically adding some shades of grey can add some realism to your stories. For that matter, I actually rewatched an old TV show that used to run on cable in the United States called La Femme Nikita. It appears to be on Youtube. While the show certainly had its problems, it was an excellent example of shades of grey.
Thanks for taking the time to write an impressive story...
| Lerris chapter 69 . 4/29
The interesting thing is Amelia purged the ministry, but no one has purged Hogwarts. Given the stakes asking people to choose between leaving and giving an Oath not to support the bad guys while they remain in Hogwarts would seem a very good idea, not that I expect the story is going to change at this late date of course...