|Reviews for Heart and Soul|
| Guest chapter 5 . 6/18
5 chapters in, and I must say... Fantastic story. The characterizations are very good. The detailed scenes and plots are immersive. I don't recall any typos/word choice errors so far.
| user51s2r chapter 7 . 6/18
This story is fantastic. The writing style is very professional and well done. I would expect to read something like this in a published fiction.
Having said that, I am enjoying this story greatly!
| Blackfire644 chapter 13 . 6/11
"Neville and me" wrong "Neville and I" correct
| highlander348 chapter 81 . 6/10
Man this story sucks balls.
| Rhino109 chapter 1 . 6/9
Im sorry its just not for me. I gave up a few paragraphs into the first chapter. Its just way too long winded. You're describing things in huge paragraphs that we already know and if we didnt know we wouldn't be reading Harry Potter fanfictions. Try to consider that some people read from different perspectives than you. I do not like writing styles like this where it is a long list of every tiny little feeling of one character.
| NicoleMargaret chapter 81 . 6/7
Absolutely wonderful! I truly love this story! You are a fantastic author!
| jacobgoertz19 chapter 1 . 6/1
| Rune Tobor chapter 10 . 5/29
Which Death Nibble is polyjuiced into Ron?
Draco? Pansy? Who?
| Rune Tobor chapter 9 . 5/28
One of my favorite stories has Molly Weasley cursed with only Two children. The other five just can't be born.
While I miss the twins a bit, Percy is not a great loss. Ron and Ginny are the main reason for the curse.
Bill and Charlie stay much the same and leave the country (and Molly) as soon as possible!
| Humnoculus chapter 4 . 5/27
the flow of the writing is good but could be better. I have noticed a tendancy to repeat the same word over and over to the point of being distracting. FOr example, In the beginning section of this chapter, which was a page in length, the word "young" was used 9 times. The fact that I am counting means it is an obvious flaw. Even if the overall theme of the section was youth, which it wasn't, the use of the same word so many times is, well, annoying, The adjective could have been struck out by editing in almost all uses without altering the meaning or tone of the section.
| Rune Tobor chapter 7 . 5/25
Rowling did very little character development, Ron started a jerk in book one, and never grew up.
I could even argue that she was like Dumbledore and focused on "redemption" of the bad guys.
Snape a secret good person? The Malfoys escape justice at the end?
Her core idea was golden, too bad she turned it into lead!
I want to see Jo in a closet under some stairs, love potioned and broke.
Thanks for writing a much better ending!
| Guest chapter 11 . 5/25
Lmao two lady's and one man but not two men and one lady? Whats immoral here then
| Guest chapter 81 . 5/21
This story was amazing!
| Guest chapter 77 . 5/19
It's a good chapter, and you're fantastic at building the suspense of a battle scene, but still...the good guys are throwing stunners, and the bad guys are throwing killing curses. Yes, some of the bad guys have been killed, but it's almost always by accident, by shrapnel. In almost every single one of these encounters, the good guys 'incapacitate' the bad guys before moving forward, leaving living bad guys behind them. Even the aurors are doing this.
If you're going to write a story that aims for thorough realism in relationships, you should likewise do it for battles. You're great at describing chaos, and terrible at ascribing rational motives to your heroes. They should be slaughtering the death eaters with lethal spells. Every single spell should be lethal, and the idea of leaving behind an injured DE is so retarded as to be a non-starter.
| torlan2003 chapter 80 . 5/21
Great story, I thought the interaction of all the houses at Hogwarts and the idea of the Society were excellent. Thank you for taking the time to write.