Reviews for Half Moon
PartyPat22 chapter 33 . 5/25/2017
A decent story, but a step back from the original. The first had me somewhat attached to the characters by the end of it. This one, not so much. There were too many ridiculous moments when the situation called for a serious tone, like bckering during battles. Lowell and Eleanor reuniting was skipped entirely and the reader was left to assume it happened, as well as how he escaped to begin with. The extremely deadly virus was treated with barely any caution by the protagonists after only three days, without James thoroughly cleaning anything being brought up. The war robit should have been reclaimed by the BoS or Enclave, or at the very least serious discussion and barter attempts should've been shown. You missed a golden opportunity to mention river-lurking beasts. The big four's near immortality is starting to be overdone as well. My biggest complaint are the lack of apparent motivations for the Shades' leader and Lab 18. Psychopathic violence makes sense if he's just a raider boss. Killing all their clients, however, doesn't add up for mercs. You also tend to treat Talon Company as generic raiders as well. Your setting could use more settlements within New York City itself. Back to my point about motivations, why would scientists execute hapless wastelanders themselves with blades and firearms? Why test the virus in the first place, or waste vast amounts of resources on taking an old monument? None of these questions garner any answers. The motivations of a character or faction are the most essential thing about them. You mentioned buckshot killing a man in very advanced power armor, which seems rather unlikely to me. Finding a baby in the middle of a deserted city is never explained. I was expecting an Evelyn-type reveal of the kid being some generic experiment or perhaps being immune to the plague and abandoned by his dying parents, either of which would've made more sense. The AA romance could've been far better, as Julia & James' was handled in the last story. I'm hooing that you'll handle Cindy and Sven better in the next one. New York City should probably have a lot more Ghouls considering how much of a target it must have been. The combat could've been depicted in a more interesting and gruesome manner. The Enclave openly helping anyone seems ridiculous to me. Having their agent secretly use them as cannon fodder while striking at their enemies or hiring mercs makes far more sense. I understand that you yourself, James, Carl, Sufia, and Julia (oddly so considering her BoS upbringing) are religious, but having other characters use Andy Griffith Show language takes me out of the story quite a bit. People cuss. A post-apocalyptic wasteland vigilante would certainly do so as well. You imply horrible things that the Shades did to Sufia, but don't have characters using vulgar language. It really makes no sense. Despite my many criticisms, it was a decent story. I'll soon be reading the third part of the series and I hope it's a step in the right direction.
PartyPat22 chapter 17 . 5/21/2017
The prayer scene had me bust out into laughter. The Enclave agent helping them out directly seems a bit forced to me. I would like to know more about the blade that merc has and your inspiration for the war robit. It seems like James would take more precautions when dealing with possible plague contaminants, as would Julia with her latent BoS paranoia.
bobshady chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
wonderful stories. after im done reading all of the fallout ones im going to start on the mass effect ones. by the way, as you seem quite good at writing about the fallout universe in areas besides what is in the games, would you mind making a fallout story about post-apocalyptic Detroit? i once mentioned something about putting other cities in the fallout universe on youtube and someone suggested a Fallout: Motor City. a north peninsula army against a south peninsula army, mounty ghouls against a northern branch of the midwestern chapter of the brotherhood of steel. i would love to see this made into a story, even more so if its being done by some who knows how to write about the fallout universe.
BeGodlyBeLynn chapter 23 . 3/3/2011
Aaaaaahhhhh! Oh please don't let Julia die, don't let her die D:

Great story once more. :) you rock.
BeGodlyBeLynn chapter 20 . 3/2/2011
Bottle cap collection? I have one, too! :D WOOT WOOT

Great story. I love your characters, again. :D Love the style of writing, as well.
Fulcrum-2 chapter 31 . 2/10/2011
So...goddamn...epic...can't...breathe...

What else is there to say? this story has somehow accomplished the impossible and is better by far than the original in almost every aspect. It's obvious that you have been improving as you write and it shows. There are fewer awkward turns of phrase and the story is much more complex, and yet it holds together very well, no major plot holes to speak of. I love how all the various stories we've been following throughout Half Moon converge seamlessly into this great battle. Love it.
SomeGuyOverHere chapter 19 . 1/12/2011
This story is masterfully written
SomeGuyOverHere chapter 33 . 12/26/2010
This may be one of the greatest fallout stories in the history of fallout stories.
Mr. Snarks chapter 33 . 8/8/2010
Narratives possess more emotion, the characters get deeper, the plot broadens, and this big ol' world gets so much bigger. Every great sequal, paper or film, in recent memory has held these traits, and Half Moon is no exception. Bravo.

Late, redundent, and irreverently

-Mr. Snarks
uso15 chapter 33 . 6/16/2010
your storys are amazing! i cant wait untill the next part in the dusters saga
fallen-wolfborn chapter 33 . 6/12/2010
Awesomely beautiful. Tis so much skill, good sir. :) Sequel, sequel,sequel...
Kuro Ryoushi chapter 33 . 6/10/2010
another solid story

Dont suppose we will be seeing the lone wanderer in the next one will we?
general andrew chapter 33 . 6/7/2010
now that's a freakin' ending! by that i mean bravo, well done, and most importantly Congradulations you've made probably the best Fallout story thus far. hope to one day hear more.
AlphaOmega92 chapter 33 . 6/6/2010
A fantastic ending! Way to go. Can't wait till the next one.
alienphantom chapter 33 . 6/6/2010
It would be interesting to see how they managed to pull that off. The resurrectiong was an interesting twist.
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