|Reviews for “Wormholes? Shiny” or “Chuck Versus The Wormhole”|
| Brandywine00 chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
Nice intro to the story, looking forward to seeing how you develop things!
| Neurotic-Isopod chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
Well this is interesting, Funny considering Jayne is played by the same actor John Casey is. I hope you continue, your writing is pretty clean and generally well done and you don't seem to be killing any of the characters so far which is good! better than most :), hope to see another chapter, I'm interested in seeing where this is all going (and how the characters react to each other). .
oh, and for advice, or helpful critisizm, I recommend describing your spaces more when you switch the POV (Like when Chuck and the others are getting their mission etc. It was a little confusing), and, I guess the whole 'rocket to destroy the world seems a little ... silly, but its a good way for getting the characters too meet, so, as long as it doesn't get too ridiculous its good!
Hope you keep it up!
| Wepdiggy chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
Hm...interesting start. I'm really looking forward to finding out how the crew of Serenity, and TeamB come together, and how this rocket is connected. Thanks for sharing! )
| vatem chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
Interesting start. I'm looking forward to the two groups meeting.
| Lion in the Land chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
Oh yes, Yes, YES you absolutely must continue this! I mean, we've at least got to see Jayne and Casey meet, right? :P
You did a really great job with the character dialogue, especially with Mal - he was right on. "Ship's been shaking like a condemned man staring at the gallows.” “You start talking about blue holes in space and the thought does come to mind, yes.” That could be straight from the show! Seriously.
Jayne was good, too "Hog wash" and Wash w/ his "faux care-free" description of their doom. Everyone was good. Nothing sticks out at me at all as being off.
The Chuck characters don't come across quite as vividly as the Firefly crew, but we haven't had much time with them yet, and you did get some personality traits across, like Casey grunting and Sarah looking for the silver lining, and Chuck being a nice guy. Hey, was this line about what Chuck WASN'T thinking a little flashback from a past life: “Oh, no. I'm really a millionaire, Wall Street lawyer, and I just dress up in a Buy More uniform and stand behind this counter for the fun of it. I find it a relaxing way to spend the weekend.”? And why does that talk of a computer not having enough RAM, whatever, for a video game sound familiar. O_o
Your description of Chuck's flash was wonderful. And also, great job with the General: The General stopped and leaned forward, her demeanor somehow becoming even more serious. “And, Chuck, flash on someone,” she ordered, “because if you don't, we're all in danger of Nuclear Armageddon.”
A couple small thingies - "cock pit" should be all one word "cockpit" and same with "through out" s/b "throughout"
I like the two titles, one for each of the shows - even those are spot on. :)
So, just my humble opinion, but the plot, the characterization, dialogue, everything shows great potential. Told ya you should be writing for that show. ;P
| enderverse chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
The characters seem really good so far.