|Reviews for The Legend of Yellow|
| MelliniumorderArceus chapter 8 . 2/24/2010
Good job! Now could you please seperate the dialogs into different paragraphs... please?
| The One On The Outside chapter 8 . 2/23/2010
No...cliffhanger! I hate them there to awesome!(confusing?)... Poor Sapphire she's crying...don't give up hope!
| Teddiursa97 chapter 8 . 2/23/2010
Aw come on! Dang internet went down when I wrote the first review! Ok back to the typing board! *glares at misty*
Teddy & Ryan: Teddiursa san?
DONT MESS WITH SPECIALSHIPPING OR LUX SHALL COME AND FRY YAH! *points at her Luxray*
Ocs: Oh lord.
Dont make me add more of your shipping! Its gonna be called promised or promises.
Ok now onto more review. *sigh* Ok that was just a guess on the gold thing. The fox relates to the naruto nine tailed fox and the phantom z pokemon. Lol Mimi squashed her trainer. Thanks Blue, Yellow, Crystal, and Sapphire. Sapphire I like your counter part kinda better and you are total opposites! More mystery yay cause I'm a mystery person! Aw poor Emerald, Platnium, Pearl, and Diamond.
Teddy: Why do I still call you san if I'm 12?
Cause I still technaclly older than you.
My first review was so much better. *starts yelling about internet*
Ryan: Not again.
Lux: *zapps him*
Teddy: You had it coming.
Ok I'm done. Pwn means one hit kill if yah didn't now and dang my words are mixed up in this review! Silver is scared of Gold? Oh really? Scard of the pervert for messing with his girlfriend? Since my review is terrible I saying good bye now. If you get this yay! If not then... DANG INTERNET DRIVES ME INSANE WITH ITS CONNECTION!
Bye Blue, Green, Red, Yellow, Gold, Crystal, Silver, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald, Platinum, Pearl, Diamond, and Kari san! Also Misty remember Lux shall pwn you if yah ruin specialshipping. Ok bye bye everyone!
| JapanDreamer09 chapter 7 . 2/17/2010
the problem I see is that there are not enough paragraphs. It gets confusing as to who is talking.
Other than that, it looks pretty good.
I love how Sapphire likes the idea of destroying the pirates. For some reason, this ship reminds me of Peter Pan. All we're missing is a fairy to sprinkle some pixie dust so everyone can fly. lol.
| JapanDreamer09 chapter 6 . 2/17/2010
Sorry that I haven't reviewed in a while.
Anyways, this chapter is a bit confusing since so many people were talking and all. Try to put paragraphs when people are talking. The story also feels too choppy. I think its because you keep changing scenes so quickly that it gets confusing.
So, they are now in the magical world. And of course, money is the number one thing they need. Lol. I love how Silver got (I mean stole... cough) money.
anyways, now on to the next chapter.
PS. what do these animals look like in the magical world? I figure since the group live in a Pokemon world, they would be shock to see a deer or pig.
| MelliniumorderArceus chapter 7 . 2/16/2010
In a certain point of view, you don't really know what someone is thinking, don't you?:)
Try not to link two actions at once.
'lowest' is an adjective not to be used on a human unless it means 'useless...
How ever Good work! I wish to read the next chappie asap.
| PenguinWarrior88 chapter 7 . 2/15/2010
Great Chapter as usual! The part with Red's dream tpye thing is mysterious, can't wait to find out what The Link means!
| alataya chapter 7 . 2/15/2010
I LOVE your story! I've already added it on my favorites bar and are now going to check it daily for new chapters! Please finish it!
My OCs comments-
North-I LOVE it more!
South-. its a great story!
West-The story is magnifisent.(She is terrible at spelling big words.')
Skylar-I like the story, but I feel bad for the Shinnoh dexholders and Emerald.
Ferrito-Very funny an aventurous with a bit of romance too. 5/5 stars.
Afzelica-Its a good story.
| alataya chapter 5 . 2/15/2010
Wah! you MIGHT NOT inclued any RedxYellow! PLEASE! Inclued at least a kiss somewhere i the fic! ~ Please! BTW I the adventure in the story. I haven't seen many things like this! Thank u! u!
| Teddiursa97 chapter 7 . 2/14/2010
Its late so soorry again if my brain isn't working. That was actually a very neat chapter. Sapphire seems pleased and Red well whats with the dreams. Gold hm why gold eyes. Maybe the fox likes the taste of gold eyes better? The pirates seemed neat. Mist is very commanding. I see zelda and naruto or the phantom z pokemon in this story. Ok I'll tell um. I completed Leopardpaw's Path and Binding Promises. But yes it seems to get better and better. A lot of mystery yay! I loves mystery. Happy Valentines Day Kari san! Keep up the good work on this story. Bye!
| Teddiursa97 chapter 6 . 2/11/2010
Thanks. Some reason I'm reminded of zelda in this story. But yes very good reactions to me. Yellow owned the monsters easily in that. Arigato for a great story for Yellow. Golden eyes, that makes it a mystery in my opinion. Gosh I'm sorry this isn't that good my mind wasn't working this time. Maybe my ocs could help me real fast, I'll get um. *grabs a girl and boy* This is Teddy *points at girl* and her friend Ryan. Also yes I love mystery.
Ocs: Hello hydro-serpent san.
I actually enjoy coming home and reading your stories so bye bye till next time Kari san.
| MelliniumorderArceus chapter 6 . 2/11/2010
Magic and pokemon. Interesting and creative.
You could try to put in some more sentences on the scenery, like how the winds are blowing..etc
| Teddiursa97 chapter 5 . 2/4/2010
Great chapter. Yeah Red and Blue care for Yellow alot. Blue is like a sister almost to her. Red don't have to explain. But yes Mist has to show her bad side at least one time. Oh I can't wait to see the other's reactions to Yellow's sword. They might freak out when they see her use it. But yes I believe Red would act like that. Also Gold as her cousin yes he would be like that, but be annoying to her. Uh also whats some of these japanese terms like demo mean? Update soon please!
| PenguinWarrior88 chapter 5 . 2/4/2010
Great Chapter! Love this fic!
| JapanDreamer09 chapter 5 . 2/3/2010
hahaha. well Gold is definitely going to feel some pain. lol.
Okay, first off, I suggest you limit your use of Japanese when writing in here because some of your readers might not understand the words. I had a hard time to transit from one language to another (like demo). Things like Sensei should be okay though.
Good job with the different points of view but remember to split paragraphs when different people are talking; I notice a huge problem in the first Gold POV. I was like "... huh?" when Red interjected the "Let go".
I would also suggest a bit more scenery description because that's how I am. lol.
Finally, I noticed you wrote that you hope this chapter worked out for my taste. As flatter as I am, I don't want you to write specifically to what I want. I only suggest what can be improved from my point of view, but you don't have to follow them if you think readers won't read it. And I'm not good with first person writing so I can't say much in improvements there.
Okay, that's it from me. hope it was helpful.
thanks for the chapter.