|Reviews for New Dimension|
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 7 . 9/12/2013
These last two chapters are pretty good.
The diary entry on recon rovers is neat.
I liked Morgan's reaction to seeing Jonathan the first time.
The talk Santiago gives to Tom after Earl is nerve-stapled is very good.
Lal's first name is Pravin, not Previn.
In terms of typos, these last two chapters are better than the previous ones, although there still are a fair number of errors. For instance “Crawling in his pipes he'd found Liz in tow with her savour,” “savour” should probably be “saviour”.
Deirdre continues being my favourite figure in this story. I really liked her talk about the pines.
I liked Earl's stylised entry too.
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 5 . 9/11/2013
The plot developments in this chapter were interesting. I particularly liked Earl's part.
Like I said in my last review, you really need to start a new paragraph when a different person starts speaking. Not doing so makes the conversation much more confusing.
The personal pronoun “I” is always capitalised.
I've just noticed something odd in the summary. “and ultimately the entire entire planet.” Is “entire” meant to be repeated?
“...or scurrying about in airducts like some kind of comic book alien.” This description made me smile.
Tom's rather suicidal snapping at Santiago was pretty funny too.
The Gaian leader is called Deirdre, not Dierdre. You get this right in the last chapter, but often misspell her name here.
I liked Deirdre's interaction with the security forces. In fact, I like how you portray Deirdre in general in this chapter. Her commentary on the fact that the security is led by a stowaway is great.
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 4 . 9/7/2013
A rather strange premise, but it's Alpha Centauri, so it interests me. I saw this story has a new cover, so that led me to check out your profile. It's nice to see that you are planning to continue this after the hiatus.
When writing dialogue, a new speaker should get a new paragraph. It makes it much easier to read. This is a serious problem in the fourth chapter.
There are also quite a few typographical errors.
The speculation about where they are is pretty interesting. I like that they need a while to figure out it's a spaceship. It's rather different that I imagine the Unity to be like, but it's well described.
I like the end of the second chapter.
“It seemed as if the whole world had clubbed together on this, all working for a man who kept popping up, his broad smile and winning wave the same on every shot, and a badge proudly displayed, Morgan Ind. "Must be some kind of franchise thing" Earl mumbled to himself.” This passage is pretty funny.
I like Flynn's diary entry on Garland.
The portrayal of the canon characters is interesting.
| bdanv chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
how is this related to the Alpha Centauri universe?
| RMcD94 chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
Interesting, you've got my attention.