Reviews for Thou Shalt Not
sally j chapter 1 . 11/10/2013
Great story, are you going to write farther?
James Birdsong chapter 3 . 3/26/2013
Cool three chapters
Ponies are Cool chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
jk
Ponies are Cool chapter 2 . 9/9/2012
This sounds like it was taken from an actual spin-off novel of The Exorcist and Carrie. I'm not saying that you plagaized; this is pretty good.
"Carrie tip-toed slowly out of her room and into the small bathroom off the landing. Once safely locked within, she ran a shallow basinful of lukewarm water and proceeded to pull the nightdress over her head. Her ruffled hair fell back over her face and she shivered, hugging her arms round herself whilst simultaneously squirming in the freezing cold of the dark bathroom. Quailing under the disapproving gazes of Jesus and His disciples, beautifully framed on the opposite wall, the teen dipped a cloth into the water and began to cleanse herself."
AWESOME.
And I'm guessing that the Lord's Prayer you're familiar with differs from the one I grew up with. :P Mine added: "For thine is the kingdom. And the power. And the glory. Forever and ever. Amen."
Amaya Kata Horoshi chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
You put a crossover between my two favorite horror films!

The Exorcist and Carrie are a good combination for these kind of stories. :)

I encourage you to continue. []

FIVE STARS!
Kaede Shinomori chapter 3 . 6/6/2011
Ok. This is GOLD. I've been trying to write something like this for ages, and you seem to be pulling it off pretty well. Keep up the good work!
CMR Rosa chapter 3 . 1/5/2011
Great chapter hope you update soon.
MangekyoMasta510 chapter 3 . 12/30/2010
this is really good. Update soon.
Rackne chapter 3 . 12/13/2010
Sorry I'm late to the party on this review, but I just signed up. I'm a *huge* Stephen King fan, and I've recently read Carrie, so I'd thought I'd comment on some accuracy in the story.

First, I would not use "petite" to accurately discribe Carrie. From the the first few pages of the book:

"Carrie stood among them stolidly, a frog among swans. She was a chunky girl with pimples on her neck and back and buttocks, her wet hair completely without color."

Secondly, the time line is off. Carrie was published in 1974, but the story took place in 1979. Also, according to the story, Carrie was born Sep 21, 1963 (about 15 pages into the book) and dies May 29 1979 (the Hospital report at the end of the book, first page of "Part 3: Wreckage"). This makes her 15, in spite of references to he being 16 in the book. Yeah, I suppose this means I should be diagnosed with OCD. ;-)

And one minor item. I'm pretty sure Carrie didn't ride the bus, but she walked to school. She walks home after her trauma in the showers and visit to the principal's office, and near the end, she's walking home (and whoopin' ass on the town). Never a mention of the bus in the novel.

I know you submitted this story almost a year ago. However, PM me if you'd like an ebook copy of Carrie for reference. It really is a great novel.

Can't comment on Regan, though. Never read Exorcist.

I really liked your story. You set the mood very well. I was bummed that you're only 3 chapters in. Moar plz!
xSweetBubbleTeax chapter 3 . 10/16/2010
ugh i hate chris she's a bitch hey that kinda rhymes lol anyway this is pretty interesting please write more!
whysoserious chapter 3 . 10/7/2010
sorry for the late review but yeah finally a update this is going g8 cant wait for more
Tugera chapter 3 . 9/30/2010
Hee! Glad you're still writing this. :3

They're so cute.. And Carrie noticing the little pretty things about the other girl.. So cute.. Liked when the tray went and hit that Chris person. Ha. X)
Rurrlock-God of Power chapter 3 . 9/30/2010
AT LAST, an update! Very well-written my friend. Ha, ha at Chris, got what she deserved. I love the way you keep switching around both characters, can't wait for more!
Menea111 chapter 3 . 9/30/2010
YEAH! An update, it's great, I thought you wouldn't continue this story. I liked how Carrie and Regan met and the moment they take their hands. I would like Chris to die by the hand of possessed Reagan it would be fun! Anyway, good job, I hope you'll continue.
TheFabulousHeather chapter 3 . 9/29/2010
Cheetana-Your awesome Descriptions of both of Carrie and Regan, never cease to amaze me. I love all of the Details you added! I felt like I was watching an entire movie inside my mind while reading the chapter.

And, I also felt my heart clench in suspense, whenever Carrie hit the rude girl, Chris, in the face, with her own tray. I really thought that the brat would try to harm Carrie, because she'd been embarrassed infront of her sheep "Friends."

And, I loved how you descrbed both of Carrie and Regan meeting for the first time in the beginning. From Carrie being shy and introducing herself to regan, to the hand shake.

Cannot wait to see what else will happen, and I'm also very excited to see what chapter seven of "Mother" will be like!
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