Reviews for Paradise Thwarted
xquild chapter 21 . 5/25/2010
Hi there!

First of all, thank you for having the patience to write(/finish) such long stories - I loved Manchester Lost and now I'm in love with this one. I've been meaning to review and tell you this earlier (but too busy indulging myself with reading): I seem to have a weird connection to this fic O; Every time I start to think about or hope for something (a turn of events, a pairing, .) it happens after a chapter or two - it's freaky and hilarious at the same time! ;

(And I don't mean that you're unoriginal - no such thing. Maybe we're just two twisted people from across the world...)

I also have to say that I love your archangels, love Belial, love it that Crowley is demon again... and... and... please write quickly, I'm impatient! \O.O/


And to the real feedback, I admire your storytelling and imagination, as well as the humble will to make readers' wishes come true and being able to satisfy or at least give something to all readers with different opinions..

I take it that your beta is also American? As wonderful as this fic is, I keep on finding the occasional mistakes (or "mistakes") in your British. Nothing precise; it must be about the differences in the ways that things tend to be said and in stress due to the differences in pronunciation. Funnily, the only person that really gives me the British vibes is Raphael - in my head, everyone else speaks their lines in American.

Alright, well, you seem like an awfully funny and sympathetic person (in the good way O/) and I'd send you a bunch of flowers if I knew where you lived, especially because you don't get paid for this - entertaining thousands of people while having personal matters (which I wish you all the best with *huggies!*).


Anna aka xaquilda

PS. I don't know whether you're keeping track on readers' preferences or just find it overwhelmingly oppressive, but in case you want to know...

- Michael/Gabriel - Dig. 3 Two pricks make a double negative.

- Belial/Uriel - GIMME SOME! o.o? We've gotten almost nothing so far! (well yeah: "Nothing?")

- Raphael/Lucifer - I'd fucking love it.
Bookworm Gal chapter 21 . 5/24/2010
I was not expecting little Az to be the mastermind behind all this, let alone the reincarnated Agnes. Awesome twist. But she didn't see the whole "Crowley Falling... again" thing coming.

Or did she?

Wonderful work and Anti-Adam with the really long name is proving problematic. Lucy really out did himself.
Sivaroobini Lupin-Black chapter 21 . 5/24/2010

AHAHAHA LUCIFER SECRETLY WANTS MICHAEL TO CALL HIM HUN! An the family scene was awesome. Especially when Evilosoth got BORED, and their reactions! *DED*

And Hazel Prue Fair-Alsip (did I spell that correctly?) being Aziraphale Pulsifer! And Agnes! And their namesakes!

""Well, we knew he wasn't the nicest guy, but to turn down his own Horsepersons? Weird," Adam muttered.

The three Horsepersons present all stared at him."


Poor Zerachiel and Raguel. And poor Raphael and Uriel. xD *reaches in and plucks Chamuel out* What's wrong with Gabriel, though? Jealous of Lucifer? Awwwwww, poor baaaabyyy! *cuddles him* It's okay, Gabby dear, Michael's heart belongs to you! It's you he thinks of when singing those songs saddressed to girls/s!

*stares at Azi and Crowley* REALLY. You're trapped under debris from when a bomb went off inside a building and you're getting it on? There's only so long that the 'making up for lost time' excuse is valid!


Also I caught a couple of typoes and don't mind being your second beta during the June hols. 0:)
Nimbus Llewelyn chapter 21 . 5/24/2010
That last biit was just...strange...
Kira chapter 20 . 5/22/2010
May I ask how you came up with the idea that Jesus is Lady Gaga? It's really hilarious and I've been wondering for some time now
Voldy's pink teddy chapter 20 . 5/20/2010
Lol, that part with Michael and Lucifer singing together was so mind-breaking and awesome. Poor Gabriel, though. I loved his much too specific denial, and how the others all stared at him for it. Leave it to Belial to helpfully break down the relationship dynamics between Mike and Lulu for him. I actually didn't see them as anything other than siblings despite the fangirls' insinuations, but I can completely see them being a bit attracted to each other if only because they look alike and are incredibly narcissistic.

On a related note, Lucifer really embodies the phrase 'cutting off your nose to spite your face' sometimes. Giving the scientists a feather and probably the ability to create incredibly powerful angel-killing monsters is just so... I mean, obviously he's evil, so he has to go around betraying people, but there is such a thing as timing, and someone should tell him that eliminating your only allies before you’ve won is not a smart thing to do.

My frustration aside, I still love what a stereotypical Evil Overlord he is. Asking poor Steve who he is, realizing it is beneath him to talk to someone that unimportant, then ordering Belial to tell him who he His lines to Michael about deigning to work with him though he couldn’t promise not to betray him, and allowing Michael to chauffer him were also awesome. Someone ate Evil Wheaties for breakfast. Which made it even funnier that Raphael cuffed him on the ear like a displeased parent and he secretly didn’t mind it enough to kill him.

I wonder if Adam and Jesus/Lady Gaga will end up having to work together with the Mike/Lulu duo to win against the new Antichrist. He seems like a pretty intimidating guy, though that image of Adam going into Parliament in archaic battle armor made me crack up laughing.
Mercurial Phoenix chapter 20 . 5/19/2010

*rereads the last part*

*dies again*

Oh. Oh my stomach. Oh God. That was - was - MATHEMATICAL. TOTALLY RHOMBUS. Yes, I watch Adventure Time. Yes, I quote it too. BECAUSE THIS FIC JUST GETS MORE AND MORE ALGEBRAIC AS TIME GOES ON.

PS - I'm working on those icons from the Gospel According to Michael. I was going to make it a .gif, but it was way too long, so I have to make a bunch of smaller ones instead. THEY ARE ON THE WAY.
Kira chapter 20 . 5/19/2010
*sing* caught up in a bad romance... oh lol, I'll never again be able to listen to this song without remembering this scene. It was so funny.

Still love this brotherly fighting between the two

Seems like Little P finally got his revenge xD Pity. I'd have liked to see Pesti and his zombies perform the Thriller-video xD

"Hungry, Papa," said yet another zombie, batting its eyes at him. lol

Poor poor Steve *shakes head* ...and the monster! "Bad Kitty!" XD

Even soulless monsters bent on destruction like penguins. WTH! XD
Bookworm Gal chapter 20 . 5/17/2010
A reference to "Thriller," more fuel for the crazy fan girl army, the return of Skuzz, a rescue for Uriel, Steve, and Lucy. Over all, another wonderfully insane chapter.
Sivaroobini Lupin-Black chapter 20 . 5/17/2010
First of all, you misspelt reenact and one other word. 3


I giggled SO MUCH at the two of them singing to Bad Romance, and poor Gabriel's obvious jealousy, and OH MY GOD THE FANGIRLS. PURE GENIUS. I'll show you bad romance indeed. xDDD

And aww, the poor Bentley! *pats it*

""Who are you?" Lucifer asked him before remembering himself and looking at Belial. "Belial, tell me who that is."

Belial made a motion of stomping with his foot. Lucifer and Belial both snickered.

"Never mind, leave me in here," Steve muttered."

Poor, poor Steve. *pats* And poor Uriel! At least he got rescued, though really, rejoining Lucifer to God? D:

And Brian's reference and living in Adam's basement. xDDD Oh man, the image of Jesus as Lady Gaga... *dies laughing all over again*

All in all, another awesome chapter! Can't wait for the next one! 3

Oh, and CHEER UP GABRIEL, I SHIP YOU WITH MICHAEL! ... except sometimes I ship Michael with Lucifer, especially when listening to Bad Romance. But most of the time I ship you with him! 3
Nimbus Llewelyn chapter 20 . 5/17/2010
This is interesting...
Cthulu Kisses chapter 19 . 5/12/2010
Thank you thank you thank you for this story. It is awesome in so many ways! I've been having dome tough times lately, and your writing just makes me smile and feel oodles better. :3 Keep writing!
Voldy's pink teddy chapter 19 . 5/12/2010
Ha, that part with the Foreigner halucination (?) was awesome. And poor Belial's in denial again. You'd think he would give up on it, considering he just risked death and went through horrible torture for Uriel. His self-talk was cute, though. "Only a really stupid demon would hit on an angel for thousands of years when it's clear he's not interested." He-he. Talk about inconvenient moments of clarity. That's not the last thought you want to have about yourself.

I also loved the line: "...and Crowley sauntered in as if he wasn't clearly a demon again".

The part with the fangirl war where you mentioned the HP fandom was awesome too. I started out in the HP fandom, but eventually had to leave when I could no longer stand the fact that twincest wasn't even near the weirdest thing they thought of. My user name is actually derived from a conversation in which my friend and I were making joking about the weird parings, especially ones in which Voldemort was suddenly in love and completely OOC.
Bookworm Gal chapter 19 . 5/10/2010
So the scientist guys have only been working with the wimpiest demon and angel before this? And now they have Uriel (and Lucy) in their midst? Yeesh...

Can't wait for more soon.
TMX Archives chapter 19 . 5/10/2010
Belial and Raphael would be a totally awesome rescue team. It's second version of meeting the in-laws by going on a mission to save the love of your immortal life! (Perhaps Crowley can give them some pointers?)
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