Reviews for I'm Yours, You're Mine
hellokitty2 chapter 24 . 9/11/2010
ok,ok,ok,ok,i cannot breath. this was one of the best fanfictions i ever read
claire chapter 24 . 9/11/2010
omg! i loved this fan fic sooooooo much! if i could rate it from 1 to 5, i would rate it 10!
claire chapter 12 . 9/11/2010
i'm half way through this fanfiction and it is soooo good. now i'm gonna read chapter 13! hope i like chapter 13 as much as i liked the others!
Purple Lace chapter 24 . 7/6/2010
cute story :)

here's a few pointers i think would help your writing.

a)beta readers are amazing tools to help proof read chapter, it's always goo to have another perspective because being the author, every aspect of the story makes sense because it was first formed in your head, but it's not always the same as what you write on a page.

b)spellcheck isn't sure fire editing tool, sometimes the closest word to what you typed isn't the correct word at all. Try and read and re-read your story after editing, it's works really well if you read it a day or two after you write it aswell because you see your own work with a more observational view. Sometimes you find missing words or even sentences that you intended to put in that spellcheck wouldn't catch that might be essential to make sense.

c)try and have a rough (this is a VERY loose term)idea of where you want the story to go. Admittedly you wont always know where you want it to go. However, try and look back on your previous chapters and keep it somewhat simmilar, I felt as though in this story it was a bit chopy, and jumpy.

d)try and keep your characters actions realistic for example it seems a little odd for a girl to be so upset friendly kiss on the cheek, but so instantly forgiving of her best friend for going after her ex after only a week. In addition, this was a personal thing, i thought you kinda made zoe out to be a bit flaky and weak as a character always pineing after a guy I don't see her like that, but thats a personal thing :).

e)lastly try and use general names unless something is REALLY well know, such as use the word beer instead of red horse. While figuring it was alchohol i didn't acctualy know what it was. I still don't know what a S.T.E.P. test is :/ .

ANYWAYS, i hope this helps :D
utsukushii04 chapter 5 . 4/19/2010
How cute! She's dreaming about him! Must be the Tylenol...but anyways this is getting really good!
utsukushii04 chapter 4 . 4/19/2010
Kouichi is such a stalker! Well, more nosy than stalkerish, but you get it! I love this TAkumi! HAAHAHAAHHAHA! (Sorry I get really excited when there is some Takumi...)
utsukushii04 chapter 3 . 4/19/2010
AWW TAKUMI! Yay! I hope more of it comes...heehee! I did a similar lab with the onion root tip cells my freshman year, which would be last year. It was fun, I guess!
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 24 . 4/15/2010
Whoa, whoa... it's finish?

That's very quick!

Men, I really enjoy this story...

Curses! Well, admit it, anything has an ending...

Anyways, I'm really waiting for 'I am Your Life'... And don't forget to put songs on the story _

Moral lessons in "I'm Yours, You're Mine":

1. The word 'love' is easy to say but hard to do...

2. Breaking up with your first girl/boyfriend is hard to forget..

3. Even things are really complicated, they're still a way that you can understand it...

4. If your love love's the person who is really close to you, just accept it that they are meant to each other...

5. The last and my favorite moral lesson... If you lose the one you love... Don't say that is over and lose hope but you can keep on moving... Or should I say KEEP HOLDING ON...

Good story... Really touch me...

See you soon _
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 23 . 4/15/2010
Oohh... That was cool...

Someone called you 'show-off'... Harsh...

Anyways, they are graduated now... Men, that was a quick time... I almost thought that I'm going to graduate on this coming school year... But I'm still a sophomore...XDXD

And one thing, I forgot to put this on last review...

I used to be love drunk

But now I'm hungover

Love you forever

Forever is over

We used to kiss all night

But now it's just a bar fight

So don't call me crying

Say hello to goodbye

'Coz just one thing

Would make me sing

I used to be love drunk

But now I'm hungover

Love you forever

But now it's over!
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 22 . 4/14/2010
ooh... That's a good one...

Nice chap... It's getting more exciting...

That was so harsh... Your best friend, in love with your ex-boyfriend... That's soo... I don't know, complicated?

Anyways, update soon...
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 21 . 4/11/2010
Whoa... Bommer! That was a quick relationship... and it's October already? Come on, I'm still enjoying Summer... hindi joke lang _

That was pretty cool... Even they break up... it's still cool...

And guess what? I'm going to update the last chapter of LOC! But I don't know when... Just stay tune on it...

And oh yeah, o-(Cut off by a music from a news report... music -_-)

JP: Hello televiewers, welcome to flashnews report... I'm JP Shibayama, reporting for the news report... 1st in the news... The sweetheart sensation couple or we call as 'TAKUMI' had broke up only for a little fight that includes 'space'... Is this the end of the Takumi fans? Or is the beginning of my new relationship on Zoe Orimoto? And a new report had just in... A fanfiction author named 'Heartbreaker19' has come up on her mind that she'll going to update the final chapter of her hit fic, Lot's of Craziness A.K.A. LOC...

ME: JP, what're you doing here?

JP: Oh, I'm just checking if my report is ok... Is it?

ME: Umm... Well, no...

JP: Oh, come on... it's for the part 2 of LOC...

ME: Hm... Well, newscasting is a good idea... ok... I'll put it on the part 2

JP: YES!

ME: But make sure it will be better than today...

JP: Ma'am yes ma'am! (Run away)

Good thing he's gone... oh by the way, I'm having a trouble on making a title of the sequel of LOC... Can you PM me if you had suggestions... I need a title that will represents the randomness of the fiction... Thank you if you can PM...

Update Soon
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 20 . 4/11/2010
Hey... Nice one...

Sorry if I'm late... my computer had shut down and it can't open anymore... good thing we have two computers...XDXD

Anyways, good one... and you know Takuya(or mama's boy LOL) In relationship... Girls must to be the first one to introduce their boyfriend (or whatever it calls to your relationship with Zoe) to their parents... But the writer will be the boss so... MAMA'S BOY, MAMA'S BOY, MAMA'S BOY...XDXD
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 19 . 4/7/2010
Wow... Sobrang cheesy talaga!

Cute one...

Well, sorry if I'm not updating my fic...

Tinatamad kasi e...

So, update soon na lang...
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 18 . 3/29/2010
The moment that I've been waiting for has finally come!

Good job _

I like this chapter... Totally like it _

And I like the song... what song is it?

Anyways, update soon...

It's the first kiss

It's flawless

Really something

It's fearless...
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 17 . 3/24/2010
Nice one...

Kawawa naman... parang di approve sa kanila si Takuya... tsk tsk tsk...

Good one on the part where Takuya blackmailed Zoe by kissing him when he wins... _

And it's more awesome when there's two kiss... Like he said, two is better than one...

Update Soon...
31 | Page 1 .. Last Next »