|Reviews for The Guardian Saga: Shattered Peace|
| TheWebbz chapter 7 . 6/24/2012
Amazing story, I wish you would continue it...
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 7 . 9/12/2011
Woohoo, a new chapter! Gotta say, I'm excited. And while you may have told me you thought this was a horrible chapter... I thought it was pretty good. There was one noticeable error, however:
"Perhaps… but still, do not be quick to trust him. The most dangerous of men can come across as the friendliest of allies," she reminded." Zelda let out a soft sigh, and when Danielle saw her face, she noticed the deep-rooted exhaustion there.]
The double-apostrophe there.
Besides that, I noticed no grammatical mistakes. On the stylistic side, I did notice there was an abundance of chuckling and eyebrow related movement. Some might find it a bit much, but being I know it's sometimes hard to think of exactly what the characters doing... it's not really a problem, but I would definitely advise to look at that for next time.
And the conversation after Dras left, I admit, seemed a bit cliche'. An unknown character comes in, seems friendly, then leaves, and the wiser character tells the more naive character that it might be a bad idea to trust them. However, Zelda isn't really a series known for avoiding cliche's, what with the hero saving the princess, and all. The entire series is a cliche!
Overall, though, I liked the chapter. Introduced a new character, begs some interesting questions on these monsters, and got some info on the Sheikah. It was a bit short, and not a whole lot of plot advancement, but not every chapter has to be some big, awesome thing.
I'm probably going to end up rereading the earlier chapters. I've totally forgotten who Aremus is... and I could use a refresher, in general XD
"A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement."
Ten ways to spoil dinner
| SerketLily chapter 6 . 3/18/2011
Update soon please!
| xCharmedCat chapter 6 . 8/4/2010
Woah, I never actually imagined that this would happen...
I'd never expect the little girl to be the monster... xD
Now, what stuns me as well is that both Cale and Danielle, who had beat all of her brothers who were under a evil influence, together could NOT beat it. Yet, a random 'commoner' had, and the commoner had actually not seemed surprised at the monster...
I'd like to see what happens when they get to the castle...
You always keep me thinking with every chapter! Keep writing
| Afrolady114 chapter 2 . 8/1/2010
oooh...cliffhanger :) nice story so far ;)
| xCharmedCat chapter 5 . 7/19/2010
Psh, you are too modest I think this story is wonderful, as well as the previous one.
Anyways, nice cliff hanger. Makes you wonder what monster attacked Cale, will he live? Is he okay? Is the little girl okay? I can't wait to see the result3
It's nice to see Ashei warming up to Cale, after what he did. But he was young and naive, so, yeah Also, I wonder who Veras is, and what role she has to play in this.
I can't wait for the next chapter, and the ones to come- I hope they answer these lingering questions.
Keep on writing,
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 5 . 7/19/2010
Oooh, cliffhanger. Nice _
Another magnificent chapter, though there was one thing I noticed:
"I guess enjoy your playing."
It reads awkwardly- at least to me. I'm not sure exactly what the sentence means, so I can't be too sure what might be wrong with it, if anything is wrong with it at all. It just... confuses me a bit.
| WiiFan2009 chapter 5 . 7/9/2010
Really good cliffhanger...can't wait to see what's up next!
| WiiFan2009 chapter 4 . 7/5/2010
This story is really good. I can't wait for the next chapter; i've been following this since I saw it on Nsider2!
| xCharmedCat chapter 4 . 3/19/2010
Your story is awesome! -Hands Cookie- I just love the way you write it out so flawlessly! KOW - Keep On Writing! -
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 4 . 2/23/2010
Suspense... well, suspense and I have a love-hate relationship XD I love suspense, but it kills me.
I noticed some small typos in this chapter:
"There's a feeling in dread in my heart that will not fade"
I believe you meant 'of dread' not 'in dread'.
"the royal family members who held the Triforce of Wisdom or were destined to often had premonitions"
I'm pretty sure (although not certain. My abilities with commas are a bit shaky, so I'm not the greatest person at finding comma mistakes) that 'or were destined to' should have commas around it. But, again, I'm not an expert XD
"I just don't want her to get, that's all. That's why I don't want her involved."
I think you forgot a word after get. Probably 'hurt'.
Besides those small mistakes, I see nothing else that was worth mentioning, besides how awesome the plot is coming together. A sheikah, huh? Oh, I wonder if Impaz knows anything about this Sheikah... I bet someone will have to investigate that?
| Retsof chapter 3 . 2/14/2010
What did you think I said, worthy squeal? Heh. And I believe the proper response to this situation would be "oh crap...".
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 3 . 2/14/2010
Yeah, I missed it for quite a while XD But at least I finally found it, which is awesome.
Aremas... I have instant dislike of him XD
I don't have anything to concrit in this chapter :P It is all clear. Over all, awesome. I'm rather excited to see what is going to happen, with Gerudo appearances, possible civil-war, and assassins.
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 2 . 2/13/2010
I think I'm about have an OMG moment XD Again, amazing writing. I noticed no mistakes in this chapter. I have to say, a traitor soldier... awesome. I do hope Danielle survives. Wouldn't be much of a story without her. Though I do notice something- Danielle has REALLY bad luck :P
| Ten ways to spoil dinner chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
Woah, how did I miss the sequal being out XD
Well, let me start off by saying 'wow'. Terrific writing, though I can't say I'm surprised after having RPed with you, and having read the first story. The atmosphere was perfect, the characters all seem... well, human.
There were some small things I noticed, though.
"stroked his trimmed salt-and-pepper beard, pale blue eyes filled with irritation. At being pushed to the edges of the table into spots less-important than "
I don't think this really fits being two different sentences. I know it would make it a very long sentence, but I don't think the break really fits.
"of his old friend Greil (he was left unaware of their true relationship to the princess) he had protested heavily but to no avail."
In here, I think the part "he had protested heavily but to know avail" should be a seperate sentence, a period after the second parenthesis. Also, there should be a comma before but.
Besides that, I didn't notice any other mistakes. Great job, and nor I'm off to read the second chapter :D
PS: This storie's been added to my favorites.