Reviews for Slowly Slipping Away
IWasAFairyPrincessOnceToo chapter 32 . 10/30/2015
I'm usually extremely hesitant to read OC shipping stories because the main character tends to be incredibly Mary Sue-ish. However, my cousin recommended I read this story and I'm glad she did. This has to be one of the very, very few OC stories that I actually enjoyed reading. You didn't make a character that every dude wants to bang, that is incredibly overpowered (though she has her moments), or that is awkwardly placed in the story. She's flawed, fits into the setting really well without taking attention or character development away from overall story's main character Naruto, and is likeable in her own way.
I'm personally fond of canon pairings like Naruto/Hinata but the canon Sasuke/Sakura pairing upset me because there was little to no relationship development between the two. Here, you made her interactions with Sasuke seem natural and the end result is a believable pairing that doesn't heavily change Sasuke's personality or the course of the story and doesn't throw the relationship in the reader's face by jumping the gun.
I do have a few critiques if you'd like them. 1) It might not hurt to have someone proofread your chapters before you post them. It's not an enormous issue, but it does distract from the story at times. 2) The constant detailing on appearances is exhausting. It's unnecessary to repeatedly talk about the characters' appearances with different wording when we already know what they look like. 3) A few plot points seem out if place or forgotten through out the story. A lot of her background is mentioned but never built on like how she personally knows the Hyuugas and Uchihas, why was she so desired as a child, why couldn't she remember her past, why did she only use her mind reading powers once bit never again, and so on. The manga isn't without its own continuity issues and for a fanfiction this story is pretty good at being consistent, but little plot points shouldn't be forgotten if you want the story to flow better.
I enjoyed reading this and look forward to continuing your saga. Keep up the good work!
Guest chapter 10 . 10/16/2015
Um...this is the wrong chapter. You might want to change it. You already put this chapter before.
khaleesiofthewolves chapter 32 . 9/28/2015
I liked it. :D
Kaeri chapter 10 . 7/22/2015
Chapter three is missing and chapter ten is a duplicate of a previous chapter. Good story but all these missing chapters are killing it for me.
Niquie chapter 3 . 7/21/2015
Nice story so far! I am really enjoying Sayuri's character. I'm sorry to hear that people have been stealing your work. Plagerism sucks and is totally inexcusable. Hopefully it has stopped. I have a question about chapter 3. Last chapter ends partway through the bell test and the next one picks up midway through the land of wave mission. I was wondering what happened to chapter 3's content? All that's here is the author's note and I'd really like to read it if possible. :)
Once again, nice job with your story and I look forward to reading more!
- Niquie
ToshimiOkami chapter 10 . 7/21/2015
Umm... Chapter 10 is tree climbing again...
INeedSleep chapter 26 . 3/2/2015
I want more Saito!
KuraiNezumichan chapter 34 . 3/21/2014
I just finished your story! It was amazing! I love it :D you did so well incorporating your OCs into the story it was just like they were already a part of the naruto storyline. I love it xD gonna start reading your next story soon!
Guest chapter 32 . 10/20/2013
I think Gaara is spelled like this...
Not Garaa.
Imaginary Girl Of Sapphire chapter 1 . 10/4/2013
I luv your story! It was soooo cute when u made sasuke blush! XD and I luv your OC she's so like able and I love two different eye colors! Just LUV this story!
Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2013
I like type sorry, but just the eye color thing just didn't feel right. I read the sequel to for this story and like the plot and how everything worked with your oc. I just don't likehow she is from a clan that controls elements, but then i realize that mei tumeru had it
Guest chapter 14 . 7/5/2013
In that part he's a she
gohanFanfics chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
I'm just re-reading it since I love it so much :D
Hunter of Shadows chapter 25 . 7/26/2012
I love your story! Its really good, i cant stop reading it.
OrangeandSpiceTeaLover chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
I read your whole in just a couple days and loved it.
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