Reviews for Breakeven
PieLover139 chapter 1 . 6/4
I'm bawling right now. Like, my god, this didn't tug my heartstrings, hell no! It yanked 'em right out. So emotional and beautifully written, I loved it! Awesome job!

Kai :)
Becky chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
This is so good, I ship Edwin so much and this broke my heart, it's truly touching, you're an amazing writer.
jaclynkaileigh chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
This is so sad. I kkept hoping that things would turn around and that they would somehow end up together. Great description with the picture and actually II even liked the song very fitting
69AnimeFreak69 chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
wow...
so sad...
AnguaMarten chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
god, this broke me. it's really plausible and in-character, which naturally only makes it more depressing. beautifully written. although i honestly think it would've been stronger without the song lyrics.
Caramelized chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
That tugged on my heartstrings like nobody's business.
I can't even begin to say how sad this was :c.

Awesome job!

-Caramel
Guest chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Holy troll nails, there was so much emotions in it! Very well done!
Sofipitch chapter 1 . 5/6/2012
This is a really good fic! I really enjoyed reading it. And it was really well written.

Keep it up!
Kina Kalamari chapter 1 . 3/28/2012
Hmm...

Well.

I like angst, as long as it's the emotional, well-written sort and not the teenage sort. (This was the former. No worries, that wasn't a criticism.) Unfortunately, there's that part of me that likes happy endings. They tend to argue a lot.

I really can't decide what I thought of this fic. Your prose was excellent and the premise was certainly very interesting, but it was just so very depressing.

Either way, I really liked the way you integrated the song. I don't like it when people put the lyrics every few lines and actually try to write the fic around them. I prefer them this way.

Great story, really, but... -sighs-
ninjas-are-everywhere chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
That was awesome and followed the song well!

It was the first EdWin I've read without them ending up together. It's kind of sad but really well written!

Great Job
dragonball256 chapter 1 . 12/31/2011
Wow this was so damn sad... :'(

Man Winry didn't wait for him so he thinks he has nothing left. Lets you literally feel his emotions.
FMA-Critique chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
Beginning/Ending

9/10

The beginning was fast and right to the point. It didn’t drag out. There were no introductions of characters who we all already know. That’s what I like to see in a fanfiction. We already know who Ed, Al and Winry are as characters. You also did not provide the reader with a long, unnecessary explanation of how Ed and Al got their bodies back. However, you could have provided us at least with a small description. But overall you got straight to the point. Well written opener.

The ending was a real heartbreaker for Edwin fans. It really shows how reality can whip you in the butt sometimes. I love how you depicted Ed fighting in this war, and how in the end, he prays to a God who he thinks might not even exist. However, he isn’t praying for himself, he’s praying for those that he loves. This is a very in character thing for Ed to do. The ending really wrapped up everything from the story. It may have left us asking some questions like “What happens to Ed?” or “Will Winry always be happy?” These are great questions to leave the reader hanging with. You captured the conclusion to this story perfectly.

Genre

10/10

This is an Angst/Romance story for sure! Throughout the start of the story, it seems like it will be all “lovey-dovey” when Ed gets home and confesses his feelings to Winry. However, when we learn that Winry is to be married to another man, that’s when the angst really kicks in and stays there for the rest of the story. You kept it true to the genre the whole time.

Factual Knowledge

9/10

Overall, pretty good factual knowledge. You captured the war that was going on very well. There weren’t very many facts that had to be known in this story, but you seemed to know most of your facts. However, the one problem I have was that Roy Mustang was the Fuhrer even though he was blind. Handicapped officers are not allowed to be in the military for obvious reasons. But because this was such a small part of the story, I only took off a point.

Originality

10/10

Very original story. You don’t see many heartbreaking Edwin stories like this one out there. Not much to say on this one. But you did a very good job.

Plot

10/10

Once again, the originality really worked into this a lot. Great original plotline. It had me sitting on the edge of my seat the whole time wanting to know more. And the way the plot and mood change after Edward learns the truth about Winry is simply amazing and still kept me reading.

Grammar

10/10

No grammatical errors.

Characters

10/10

All of the characters, especially Edward, were extremely in character throughout the entire course of the story. You knew how to have them handle sad, upsetting and difficult situations. It’s clear to me that you really know these characters well.

Consistency

10/10

The plot was always very consistent and just kind of flowed with everything else that was going on around it. I never found myself confused or not knowing what was going on. Good work.

Keeping true to the manga/anime

9/10

I can tell this story was based on the manga/Brotherhood. It was also finished before the two were completed, so no points will be taken off for that. However, the one thing I noticed was that you made Alphonse’s eyes gray. I know they were gray in the first anime, but in the manga and Brotherhood, they are gold. That was the only mistake I noticed though.

Summary

5/5

Your summary quickly sucked me in, wanting to know what was going to happen in this fic. Great job.

Title

3/3

Very original title. It doesn’t give away anything about the story, it’s short and interesting sounding.

Overall, excellent fanfiction. I can tell that you take writing very seriously and really know what these characters are like. This critic is giving you a very positive review!

Final Score: 95/98

This Fanfiction gets an A.
xxMusicalMime chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
So sad D;

My eyes watered at the end, and I had a watery fit of giggles at the part of Ed's prayer. Still, it was sad.

You're awesome :DDD :3
Hellocloser chapter 1 . 5/12/2011
This was your first fanfic ? Ohmygod , what an incredible debut .

Sequel ? :D ?
DeathBySugarCube chapter 1 . 5/8/2011
this almost made me cry...

...

now i feel really sad

(sniff) but your story was really good

i seldom get this sad when i read stories and very few can actually make me almost cry

VERY GOOD JOB
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