|Reviews for An Icy CliffHanger|
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/11/2013
hmm,when will the tigrex show up
| Ezakiel chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
Wow, I really thought you had given up on this story. Then again, so one could think about me...
Anyway, this new installment was every bit as colorful as the former, if not more so. You put a lot of metaphors into your writing and describe what you do with great detail. An especially good point is the way you explain the armour skills. I would never have thought of gears amplifying strength. Good job.
There's not all sunshine n' rainbows, though. While I have nothing against metaphors, you seem to use them quite a lot, up to the point where the action seems not only slow paced, but almost deliberately so. You may want to cut back on that just a little bit, at least in my opinion.
Another point is of a more grammatical nature. I noticed that there are words you use very often within a single sentence and/or in unnecessarily close succession, like "cave" or "tracks". You could replace the former with words like "tunnel", or simply use "it", while the latter could be summarized in a numeration. After all, it sounds better to say: "There were tracks of xxx's, yyy's and zzz's, but none from the TTT he was looking for." than to say: "There were xxx tracks and yyy tracks, also a few zzz tracks, but no TTT tracks." That makes it easier for the reader to digest you story and imagine things without thinking "why did he use this word so often?" At least that's how I function.
Oh, and to answer your question, I think that your paragraphs are of perfect size. They tend to be two to three lines high, which makes the story seem neither hacked apart nor makes you get lost and lose your line. Keep this format up, it's really good.
Well, that was quite a lengthy review. Almost 2000 words. I hope that I could help you somewhat, and of course I would be delighted about another chap. You seem to have a thing going with large Pelagi ending the chapter.
Keep up the great work.
Till next time!
| onixspace chapter 1 . 11/7/2010
I really liked the story man, the development of the character and the building up of the characters profile, like his battles and the much detail in the armor, its just me, i don't like how he met his end, i always like the hero or main person always wining and always achieving the impossible.
But great story and this is my review of it
| aj martishius chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
as someone that has played monster hunter and soloed since the first one. (which honestly if you can solo the ps2 one then you got a good reputation just from that.) i can say very well written. now alotta ppl say he's dead. but i see three things happening. 1. hunters appear and distract him, 2. the thing that was roaring, like a tigrex or a kushala daora appears and blindsides it. or 3. FARCASTER GO lol. which i dont think youd do cuz it would mess up the fight but still be a WTF moment
| phaty117 chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
This is a great story i might wright my own now! you should totally try to get this "really published" i think this would make awsome book...this story is awsome
| Victoria S chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
No! He dies!And I was really starting to like him too!
Other than that, great story, really good a lot of colorful description made it easy to follow. *two thumbs up*
| Eleazer Dread chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
Greatness dude! You had made me all the way to the end,I would go on and on about it but in short I agree with the others.
| L. Damarik Laizare chapter 1 . 2/9/2010
By the gods I'd know that armor anywhere. It's my prize set, though mine be decked in Red and Blue instead of Gold and Blue. I rather pride myself on that set to be honest.
I can't say anything about this story that others haven't, so I'll just give you another "Killer Story, Well Written" and be done. But like some others, I do hope to see if this pans out any further. It's been a good read.
| Quinnman chapter 1 . 2/2/2010
That was a great story man. I liked how you described your armor and weapon without telling exactly what they are. Also the way you word your paragraphs made me want to keep on reading the story. Hope you continue to make more!
| Joseph Hughey chapter 1 . 2/1/2010
Just amazing in my opinion. The detail made enter the eyes of this hunter. I personally enjoyed the description of the sword hitting the beast and the armor. Want to buy more. i dont know if it matters but to bring the story back to the life. the roar the beast heard earlyer right before the warrior came in for an attack could be some other animal coming to claim the prize. Knocking the beast away from the hunter. etc. Again i liked it. i smiled at the part where they had the stare down.
| Ezakiel chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
What a nice story. I wonder whether the title is true and this keeps going on or not. Either way, it was very well written. You have a colorful way of describing, which makes this seem quite professional.
| Sleven Kelevra chapter 1 . 1/29/2010
I liked the story amron. Heroes need names though, I hope there is also points in the story where things cool off with some comic relief...Maybe the hunter comes across a few other experiences hunters...who knows.
| uma chapter 1 . 1/29/2010
I completly loved this story, It kept my sttrntion the whole time as well giving my imagination the perfact juice to imagine the whole scene. It Let me picture the scene perfect even though i have never played. its great in detail of the book and if it was just a normal book you would buy. It makes my mouth water for more. when is the rest of the book coming out? but i did have a few concerns a few of your word coices confused me as well as sentences in stories they felt like they were just trown in. especially some of the paragraphs didn't flow easily from paragraph to paragraph. But besides tose few things. this was the most amazing story i have read so far on this site. you get a 10 from me.