|Reviews for The Last Jedi|
| Overide22 chapter 46 . 3/21
This is one of the best fanfics I have ever read. I really enjoyed the story.
| Simianpower chapter 30 . 12/22/2016
Again they have him, with orders to kill, and again they don't do it.
They know he's taken multiple frigates by himself, yet they take him on their frigate. These opponents are too stupid to live. This story just jumped the shark. I don't care how Tobin wins any more because his plot armor just blew my suspension of disbelief away.
This gets 6 out of 10. I think that's the lowest I've ever rated one of your stories, and it's because aside from lots of wording and spelling mistakes, the character decisions were repeatedly not reasonable. :(
| Simianpower chapter 29 . 12/22/2016
"Things are moving very fast for you." Yeah, a little TOO fast. In six months or so they revitalize a dead, toxic world? Really? In 1.5 years they have a nation and a battle fleet and and and? I think the pace is really tough to believe. Really tough.
| Simianpower chapter 26 . 12/22/2016
At first it's three frigates, then it's three corvettes, then three frigates. Make up your mind! This story really needs a thorough editing, because it has WAY more errors than I'm used to seeing in your writing.
| Simianpower chapter 15 . 12/22/2016
*sigh* You had to be that predictable? Meh!
| Simianpower chapter 14 . 12/22/2016
Well, idiocy is its own reward. "We'll be anathema if we do this." Umm, better anathema than dead? Dipshits. Main characters doing something intentionally stupid for the sake of plot. Bleh. Though it still fits the Dune mold a little too well: "the first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence", followed by stepping into it anyway.
| Simianpower chapter 12 . 12/21/2016
The Paul Atreides Golden Path comparisons grow ever stronger. And now he's found his Stilgar, not to mention his Irulan. I really hope it diverges from this soon, because I might just ditch the story if it continues to be Dune dressed up in Star Wars clothing.
| Simianpower chapter 11 . 12/21/2016
Lots of errors in this chapter.
Magnates, not magnets
Tenets, not tenants
Learned, not leaned
"Now it was time" rather than "Not it was time"
"Your whole family" rather than "You're whole family"
And you misspell Corellian every single time it's used, but not always the same.
Also, it wasn't six years ago that they fled, but ten.
It's nice that something's finally going Tobin's way, but this felt too much like a scene from Dune for my taste. The religious assembly, the proof of faith, blah blah. I like your setting, but it's 11 chapters in and the story still hasn't really found its voice yet. Anything that's not still setup feels copied from somewhere else. That's not your usual style.
| Simianpower chapter 9 . 12/21/2016
It had to happen, I suppose, but there's a pretty big plot hole here: why did they not execute Base Delta Zero from the start rather than sending in and losing hundreds of troops first?
| Simianpower chapter 5 . 12/21/2016
Five paragraphs later...
Seven paragraphs later...
Shortly thereafter, he's nearly fourteen. I get that he had to age to a point where he would be "useful" to plot, but this seemed a bit heavy-handed. I hate to say it, but it just didn't sit right with me.
Also, more than usual frequency of misused words in this chapter.
"moments" should be "monuments"
"waste" should be "waist"
"suppose to" should be "supposed to"
I'm glad that they're finally away from the pirates and hope that the "real plot" is about to start. The prior chapters all felt like a prologue.
| Simianpower chapter 3 . 12/21/2016
"... like what I did at the school." If this is a flashback to something Tobin was told at age six, then that part of the sentence doesn't have any antecedent basis. The school incident happened years later on a different planet.
| Simianpower chapter 1 . 12/21/2016
Red-haired and green-eyed? Lily Potter much? :)
Also, I think you're looking for "androgyny" rather than "ambiguity".
Interesting start... not sure where you even could go with this, but I guess we'll see.
| Guest chapter 46 . 12/3/2016
| Hawklan chapter 46 . 8/20/2016
Normaly I don't bother reading fic's with oc char, but having read a few of your other fix I gave the story a try...what shall I say? I liked the story even if I found the number of captial ships used in this fic quit heavy.
| Guest chapter 37 . 7/10/2016
I really like Aaris. He's like if the Anakin from Phantom Menace was actually endearing rather than tremendously annoying. The execution is similar, but instead of being some crazy prodigy, Aaris is just a honey badger-ish kid with a kid's version of common sense.