Reviews for Loner
Anonymous chapter 77 . 9/21
Alright, a few things. First, I've enjoyed the story, even though I've felt ups and downs with it. I mean, you came up with a very interesting story. That being said, a few things have stood out to me about the character development. I can't help but notice how you went to the other extreme in actually excusing Edward of all bad behavior -he snaps at his family and Bella too often, and it ISN'T ridiculous to think Bella could leave him over it. It's still a relationship, not an unconditional family. Honestly, she withstood too much for having known so little of him; she tells him too often that she knows he's not bad in the beginning, but I find it a bit naive of her because of how little she knew of him, even if it's the truth. Then, and this is something you made me realize in the story -Bella is actually very selfish. If it's about Edward or her, she's willing to trample on anyone, as Emmett said. She also snaps at others too often (like Phil, or unwilling to forgive anyone for past mistakes like Rose or Jake), and somehow ends up always apologizing to Edward for making him mad. I'm sorry, but your Bella isn't likeable, even if it's clear she has Edward's best interests in mind. Now, I don't mean to say I don't like your story, and I certainly don't wish to hurt your feelings, but I do think these are things to consider in character development. You wanted Bella to be the 'kind, helpful character' but it seems like it's specific to Edward. That's fine, I just think it should be more clear to the reader, because somehow Carlisle for instance insists on how nice she is when she's always so disrespectful of him, which is inconsistent. Lastly, and I've noticed you've changed it a bit, the POV -you went back too much in the story. Like, you'd repeat in EPOV everything that happened in BPOV instead of picking up where they left off, and that gets tiresome and repetitive after a while. I say this because I do believe you could change all of this and make your story that much greater; I don't know if you had a beta. Anyway, I hope you don't take this as flaming and know that I really just wanted to get this out there and that you take it into consideration for future stories.
PunkBettie chapter 115 . 7/28
Loved it. Thank you for the story.
FromTheCourt843 chapter 115 . 5/27
I found this story through a Twilight Recs post and I am so glad I did. Wonderful writing and storyline! Completed it all this weekend and couldn't put my phone down!
AM chapter 58 . 3/9
Love it so far - although Bella is very proficient at jumping to conclusions.
A chapter 12 . 3/1
Love this story heaps but am mildly struggling to deal with how clumsy Bella is. No hate at all but it astounds me how someone fall and break things so much. How does someone trip on flat ground when they are concentrating on not tripping, i don't know. So confused but still happy.
Ophelia85 chapter 105 . 1/22
Have to say this chapter was pretty disappointing.
Ajfflady chapter 21 . 1/20
Christina Perri Arms just saying...listen ...then your story is point on.
Ajfflady chapter 20 . 1/20
Christina Perri's song ARMS- that is Edwards soundtrack for his life and his Bella's love omg it's perfect for your story. Play it loud and often as you all read this story.
Guest chapter 73 . 1/18
Bitch. Should've Just walked away. Jerk fucking black jerk
fanfictionalcolic chapter 115 . 12/13/2016
Amazing story
magmom4 chapter 77 . 11/21/2016
Makes sense but she didn't have to take it out on Edward.
magmom4 chapter 67 . 11/20/2016
Of course you have to bring the family in since they will be playing a different part. Every time it comes up I want to pull the plug on James too.
magmom4 chapter 14 . 11/13/2016
It was funny.
bitch chapter 42 . 9/25/2016
omg this is some deep ass shit i love it ur doing a great job so far
guest chapter 115 . 9/10/2016
Fifth time reading this and yet it still managed to make me cry again and again. Thank you for writing this beautiful story
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