|Reviews for Flushed|
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/20/2013
| LisaG16 chapter 4 . 11/12/2012
yay! he's all better now. i love how you write colby...you really capture his manerisms and his personality, especially how he talks.
| LisaG16 chapter 2 . 11/12/2012
love this tag to the episode. it definitely needed some good colby hurt/comfort! what a missed opportunity on the show...glad you took advantage of it! :)
| dolphinrain chapter 3 . 11/9/2012
Great story. I realize tv only has so much time, but I thought Colby got off a little easy on this one. I certainly wouldn't mind playing nurse w Colby a little. (& Charlie). Nice little whumping.
| daleaikman chapter 4 . 12/31/2011
great story. always love a good family story. And a just love a hurt or sick Colby.
| BobWhite chapter 4 . 12/11/2011
| Susan chapter 4 . 3/17/2010
Great Story, loved it, glad to added on to it.
| dwennie chapter 4 . 2/25/2010
Nice one. I love Colby fics, and this was very well written.
| Chianna chapter 3 . 2/6/2010
Really nice job on this.
| Brenda chapter 4 . 2/4/2010
This was great. I love reading about Granger. I am kind of glad that I found this after you had finished it because I don't know how I would have waited for the next chapter. The plot grabbed my attention and flowed well.
| Lily G chapter 4 . 2/4/2010
Hey! That was a great story, just like I like them... :p I like caring fics.
| ArodLoverus2001 chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
awesome story! cant wait for the next one!
| belana chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
wow an extra chapter, wonderful. Many many thanks. Looking forward to seeing your new stories posted.
| DeniseV chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
Well, that was nice. I am, as I think you know, a huge hurt/comfort junkie. I am not a fan of WIPs at all, though, so it was obviously a story I liked for me to stick with it.
However, and this is as one fanfiction writer to another, there are a number of things you could do to improve your writing that would REALLY make reading WIPs worth the effort.
One of my real pet peeves is when writers who are non-American write things for American characters that Americans would never say. You use a bunch of them in your writing: "whilst" is a biggie. You should try to avoid this whenever possible. David wouldn't say that he was on his way over to "collect" you. We don't say that over here, either. A good beta would find these things for you. These are the biggest things that will take me out of a story, and sometimes stop me from continuing. For me. These might not be bothersome to other people.
A few other things to watch out for? Run-on sentences. Missing apostrophes.
I also think you rushed the epiloge, and this is my biggest problem with WIPs. I believe that the story is still alive until the very end. Something that you come up with later in the story might stir your creative juices about a moment earlier that you could enhance and make better. When you post as you write the chapters, you never have the chance to make them better. My first drafts are never my best drafts.
These are just things that I think are worth paying attention to when writing. And again, I only bother to comment because I think that you do have talent. I hardly ever comment on stories. I think your story was worth taking the time to do that. Keep writing, and keep having fun. The most enjoyment I get from posting stories is from the satisfaction of finishing the work and a job well done.
Yours was a job well done!
| TheNaggingCube chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
I am content. As you can tell by my name I am a nagger ;-D
Very nice and it really did complete the story wonderfully from Eleanor's cleaning and muffins, to Colby's excitement and nerves and cracking open his wallet. The coffee bit heheheheh!