|Reviews for After The Sun Shined|
| Naekane chapter 23 . 11/19/2012
I ... was on the right track *Sobs* That's just awful...
Oh, no, I don't mean the chapter! That's excellent, really! I mean the idea. Poor Thea. It's bad enough that he has to die so young, but to have to spend the rest of eternity guarding a door it was never her duty to protect. I can hardly imagine what Marta and Emil are going through.
With the family and married couple fluff earlier in the chapter, heck, with how fluffy and light-hearted most of the story is, this felt light a real punch to the gut. And I mean that in the best way possible!
Thanks for putting up this chapter so soon. Can't wait for the next one!
| omegafire17 chapter 23 . 11/19/2012
The poor girl... I wish I knew what else to say, but I'm still getting through the shock, despite the fact I knew this might happen.
Though, it should be noted, you kept spelling Richter's last name as "Asbend". It doesn't have an S there, just "Abend" (I own the game personally)
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 23 . 11/19/2012
*Sniff* That is tragic...
I knew to expect the worst, and the chapter title all but confirmed it, but still... poor Thea, poor Emil and Marta, poor little Aster. When/if they found out Tenebrae knew what would happen to her all along, I imagine they won't be too happy with him.
Tragic or not, this is probably one of your best chapters in this story. The tension from before still hung about and despite a fluffy beginning, it made that blow all the more heart-breaking. A few typos in the first few paragraph somewhat detracts from the chapter's quality, but only because it is otherwise flawless.
I want to say more, but I'm "typing" this on a 3DS with very low battery. Wonderful job and I shall await the next chapter.
| Shio Moriyama chapter 23 . 11/19/2012
This is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so SAD...
How will Marta and Emil deal with this...?
| Puppylove7 chapter 22 . 11/17/2012
Nice chapter, please update soon. I want to know exactly what is going on now.
| Naekane chapter 22 . 11/16/2012
Oh man, what's going to happen?! Someone's going to die, aren't they? Maybe Marta? The human twin? Emil's physical form? The suspense is killing!
Erm, sorry for flipping out like that. I'm fine, really. Don't think this means I didn't enjoy this chapter, becuase I do enjoy it. Sure it might be making me a bit flustered, but the way you use tension in this chapter is great. I know I have to wait for answers. You don't even have to tell me if I'm on the right track or way off. XD
Also, I thought you handled the whole "half-summon spirit" thing with the childern in a cool way. I never would have thought of that. It's more interesting than making them half and half or all human, though that all human option is what I think would actually happen when/if Marta and Emil were to have kids. But hey, unless the game's writers say one way or another, there is no wright or wrong scenario.
You have this reader on the edge of her seat! I can't wait for chapter 23!
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 22 . 11/16/2012
What? But... hey! Tell us, already. Darn you, Ratatosk! Darn you, suspension!
I know I'm not the only one who thinks something bad might happen. This only confirms that suspicion. Of course, we probably won't find out what Ratatosk is talking about until it happens. *Sigh*
Don't mind my "complaining." As usual, this is a great chapter. Well written, great use of imagery, and my usual praise. Your building of this suspense is a testament to your writing skills.
The idea of having one summon spirit child and one human child is an interesting. A similar situation occurs in the manga Fairy Cube. Rather than a half-fairy, a fairy and a human has twins, one human and one fairy, according to the manga. The wrinkle there is that the fairy child exists only as a spirit.
Saying "I eagerly await the next chapter" would be a serious understatement. I don't like to rush people, but I do hope you'll update soon! Considering the time of year (crunch time!), it may not be that soon.
| Naekane chapter 21 . 10/15/2012
Yay, new chapter! Yay the kids are boy and girl twins! Yay, they have names, and I like them (even if one of them is pretty much a given)!
But things are not as peachy as they appear, which raises a few question in my mind. Was Marta's hand shaking because she's so happy, or was it due to something else? Were her cheeks at the end because of how ecstatic she was, or was it something else? It's not like I'd get a straight answer if I asked, and I'd rather be surprised. I'm probably reading too much into it, anyway.
Going away from the major event with the babies, I liked the exchange between Lloyd and Tenebrae. I don't think they talked much in the game (though It's been three years since I last played it...), so it's funny to see them interact, especially with Tenebrae poking fun at him.
Great chapter, as always!
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 21 . 10/15/2012
It may be fairly early in the morning, but I have a ride to work (for once), and I can't think of a better way to start the day!
But anyway, d'waa boy and girl twins! Aster is pretty much a given, and Thea is a cute name. :D To go off on a tangent, though, I find it interesting how Colette's explanation for the name is that it's popular "up north," which seems to be a reference to real-world Norway. Why interesting? Because the world of Aselia is loosely based on Norse mythology. I find it an odd, yet appropriate reference
To get more serious, now you've got me all worried again. Looks like assuming a Sylvaranti hospital would be as advanced as a Tethe'allan one was a bit of a leap. But is the story merely noting that things could have gone worse? Is it hinting that Marta or one of the babies will contract some disease from the hospital, it being quaint but not as sterile as a modern? Is it hinting that the reason the children are fine is because they're half or partially summon spirit? The possibilities abound, and I hope I'm worrying for nothing.
I spy no immediate grammar error or awkward or repetitive wording, so it'll just be praise and speculation from me. Well done, as always! I shall eagerly await the next chapter.
| Puppylove7 chapter 21 . 10/14/2012
Those names you used actually work fine in my opinion. As for the chapter, I liked it quite a bit, but it left me feeling like something is wrong. I just hope that I'm not right about that. Anyways, please update again soon.
| Oracle2Phoenix chapter 21 . 10/14/2012
Names work for me, if there was a boy it was probably always going to be an Aster. I had wondered what you would do for girls, but that works great.
I really hope Marta is not to ill or going to die, that would be sad.
Love your story and look forward to the next update.
| Puppylove7 chapter 20 . 10/4/2012
I just finished reading all twenty chapters and I have to say that this is one amazing fiction. I also have to say that college does make it hard to update. It happened to me when I entered college. I still update slow, but that is because I'm extremely lazy and I occasionally lose interest in my fictions, but that doesn't mean that I won't update them again. Anyways, I'm looking forward to the next chapter whenever you post it.
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 20 . 9/15/2012
Ah man, I read this chapter before work, but wasn't able to review until now. :P Oh well, better late than never.
Oh wow. I know you said the end of the story is near, but I figured there would be at least one more chapter before Marta gives birth. Regardless, it is an excellent chapter. You really captured the tension well. For a moment I even worried that something had happen to Marta or the baby (or should I say babies :D). The parts with Lloyd's and Colette's recent goings-on and his thoughts for their future was a nice addition, too. :) Now I have to wonder what sort of twins (identical or fraternal, perhaps of the boy and girl variety?) It may be a bit of a cliche to have surprise twins, but that doesn't mean all suspense is gone, even if its minor
And now, I must get to the criticism/nitpicking. Early on you had this written: "The blond awoke and, despite his sleepy condition, it only took him a second to realize was happening. His wife was finally going into labor. "'Marta…are you…?'" The "his wife was finally going into labor" seems kind of obvious. It would seem less repetitive if it went from "it only took him a second to realize [what] was happening" to Emil asking Marta if she was going into labor. Another bit of obvious repetition comes from the very first sentence: The bed creaked as a woman bolted out of bed..." :P Nothing major, but I felt I should point them out nonetheless.
On a related note, I found the hospital a bit surprising. Slyvarant seems like they'd still be having births at home with a midwife and such (I know that still goes on now, but they're rare. I believe hospital births didn't become frequent until the 20th century). Tethe'alla's influence perhaps?
And I know all too well how college interferes with fanfiction. I joined in my last year of high school, and things were hectic once I started college. I was able to post with some frequency after adjusting to my new schedule and work load, though I could never stick to any consistent time. I aimed for updates once a week, then once every two weeks, and eventually "whenever I could" :P. In my last three semesters, I pretty much quit and barely read anything, let alone wrote for that time. Kind of had to graduate, you know?
But I'm, sure you don't care about my fanfiction career, such as it is. :P Nitpicks aside, this was a great chapter, and how you kept the tension going is an example of your writing quality. Excellent work, as always. I don't know how long it'll be, but I shall await the next chapter. :)
| Naekane chapter 20 . 9/14/2012
Yay! Glad I got this email before I went to bed!
Darn it, how did I fall for the whole "'oh my god, what's wrong with my wife/the mother?!' 'She had twins'" routine? That's one of the oldest tricks in the book! Man, you actually had me worried there!
Not that I'm complaining. This is a great chapter and one I have really been looking forward to! Have I mentioned what a great writer you are? 'Cause you are!
I also totally know what you mean about college killing fanfics. In my case, I wish I started writing fics back in high school. Maybe I would have more experience writing fiction and more than four stories. :P Oh well. While it looks like it might be a while for the next chapter, I will wait patiently for it!
| HeavenlyTempest chapter 19 . 8/24/2012
This has to be one of the most beautiful stories i've ever read. I never understood why so many people hate this game... i think it's simply beautiful. You perfectly decribe what could have happened after the good ending, and i thank you for writing this. I alway loved the relationship between Emil and Marta3
So..i hope this will still continue! You really do have a talent for that. D