|Reviews for The man who looked at the sky|
| Anti Kristoph chapter 29 . 7/10/2015
| ChloboShoka chapter 1 . 2/12/2015
This is a beautiful fan fic. AJ is really underated in my opinion because the characters are so amazing and complex. I love how you wrote Daryan and Kristoph and also love how you've made alternate endings and Machi's role in the story.
| ClairePuff chapter 37 . 2/4/2015
I finally finished! And good heavens, this story broke me. I can't even begin to express how perfect this story was, just in the sense that it felt real. It felt authentic. The characters acted like real people, and this is one of the stories that has actually made me tear up.
The characters. My god, the characters. Kazaf is the kind of person I would hate, and I still loved him. Nail is beautiful and wonderful and human and I love him too, even though he's a jerk. The canon characters are so amazingly in character, and yet you go deeper than what the games show. I am in awe.
Apollo and Klavier finally actually getting together-that entire scene, with some modifications, has become my headcanon for how they get together. It was perfect.
I wasn't really sure I would like this fic, but I gave it a shot anyway, and I'm so glad I did. If I could impart to you my feelings on this story, it would be a combination of squeals, tears, swearing, awe, and general amazement and love.
| Elchikaah Haly chapter 37 . 9/14/2014
Okay, when I learned about the sequel of your other story, I was pretty happy. Although, when I read the summary, I thought this would be a generic revenge fic about two old prisoners searching for the ones who put them in prison then torture them or searching for them like creepy stalkers.
I'm glad I was wrong.
I find this fic cute in parts, mainly the interactions between the Gavin brothers and Apollo. I'm not a KlaPollo supporter but I think the relation works well for this fic.
You make us really feel for the characters, even your OCs, but I feel like other characters like Phoenix and Trucy are kind of put apart. When it was written that Trucy's kinda the only "Wright part" who's still in contact with Apollo, I was expecting a bit more of their brother/sister relation but there was almost none. :(
Beside of that, you really managed to keep us digging more of the story after every end of chapters. I find myself in their world and I could never stop reading. Even if reading was looooooong.
Even after what Daryan and Kristoph have done, it's almost like you can't help yourself but feel bad for them. And that means very good writing! Though I think I would have liked to see a bit more of what happened to Machi at the end, but I can understand since he's not really the focus of the story, lol.
Congrats on finishing this insanely long and great story too!
| NeukiTesla chapter 37 . 6/2/2013
This is probably the longest fic I've read (I'm a oneshot kinda guy). And it's worth the long ride.
First it started a bit draggy but I kinda like it since it was building up some sorta connection with Kristoph. Somehow. But I guess because of that I was kind of OKAY with Apollo hiding him (if you didn't tell me much about his prison arc I'd curse your Apollo rightaway lol sorry). I like the flow of the story and the details you put into important and trivial stuffs. Though I have to admit some of the details were probably too much, especially on the tin-man part. But that's bearable and didn't make me skim through the text.
Klapollo/Kyodoroki is my precious otp and I like their tensions, ups and downs, in the story. The Apollo confession chapter (was it 20?) was mindblowingly dramatic (just how I'd suspected from Klavier lol), but necessary. My utmost favorite moment was the one when Apollo thrown into jail. Seriously. I can't even contain my feelings. I didn't see Apollo's forgiveness coming. God, it was too much feelings. In a good way, of course.
Now let's talk about your OCs. I haven't read your 'Man of Mist' so this was my first encounter with Kazaf Devereux. God but I LOVE that kid, seriously. I never was a fan of OCs but let me see here, my browser history shows that I've searched dA and google image for any fanart of Kazaf...with no avail. DAMN. I NEED TO SEE HOW HE LOOKS LIKE *desperate*. Nail Colfin is fine too. Though I expected to see his forensic thingy a bit more to show his scientific side. That would be really awesome.
So this time I'll try to read Man of Mist and I can't wait for your future work (if you're planning on any...but, but, you should be, since you're awesome) :3
| Clydell Humphries chapter 29 . 5/10/2013
Man, everything great about this story can't even be summed up in one review, seriously.
I love this. So, much, you have no clue. I love the length of the chapters, how it takes me so long to read one but when I do, I'm not sad because there's another one after that, and another after that. The fact that the story is quickly drawing to a close saddens me, because it feels like that part of my routine will be gone.
I just love the plot you've spun, your OCs are fantastic and just. Yeah, I told you not all this could be summed up in one review and I was right.
All the comments that characters make to each other, all the little details. This story is amazing and even if I'm nearly finished reading it, I think it will be the sort that I come back to again someday.
Truly great work.
| Shayla Zajac chapter 37 . 12/16/2012
Thank you for posting on a note at the end of the story. As a result it reminded me how much I loved the story and I went back and started with Man of Mist and read both stories through again. I neglected several just bought books to re-read this fanfiction that I've already read. So thank you for that :D
Seriously, this is a truly great story and I wish that Man of Mist was the official backstory of AJ and The man who looked at the sky was what officially happened after AJ. You have a way of crafting this story so well that it's you don't want to put it down after you start reading it. I remember when you first published it I would eagerly await the "New Chapter" emails.
I absolutely love the chapter Apollo declares his love for Klavier in front of the press, and I absolutely, absolutely love the chapter where Apollo burns down his door and takes Kazaf captive, and the events following that. I agree with a previous reviewer that I liked that the Klavier/Apollo relationship was part of the story but not the main theme of the story.
I love Nail and I LOVE Kazaf. I'm usually a huge anti-OC reader but I think you developed these two great. Seriously, I cannot get enough of Kazaf and he needs another story haha.
Keep up the great writing! I know you abandoned the mafia! story but I look forward to whatever you write next!
| yukidaru chapter 37 . 11/30/2012
Why not, instead of rewriting just write a sequel? Cover Machi, Daryan, and all the other characters we know and love and see the journey. Quite honestly, lets see some Klavier x Apollo romance because well, this story was rather skimpy in that department.
| yukidaru chapter 35 . 11/30/2012
Is Kristoph the piano man? Impossible!
| yukidaru chapter 21 . 11/28/2012
I shouldn't but I'm so happy Kristoph escaped.
| yukidaru chapter 20 . 11/28/2012
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Finally, it happened!
| yukidaru chapter 9 . 11/28/2012
Hmm, even though I usually despise OC's, these Oc's were well crafted and seamlessly injected the story. I really wish Kazaf was cannon now.
| yukidaru chapter 7 . 11/27/2012
I knew it, Kristoph totally was hanging with Apollo.
| Gatita101 chapter 37 . 10/21/2012
This had to have been one of the most amazing fanfics I have ever read in this section. You had me hooked from the beginning to the end. I honestly can say, you have ALOT of talent and this had to have been a challenge to write.
The way things were worded, and the control of such a haywired plot was amazing. At one point, I felt the story was going off in, like, a million different directions, but when I come to end, you tie the knots up perfectly. Like how Mache and Daryan became friends at the end. I saw that as the most incredible fashion of character development I had ever seen. They went from enemies to accomplices, to being at each others throat, to friends. I still have chills thinking about Mache whipping his gun out at him, and even fighting him.
I loved how the romance was so well done. It wasn't to rushed, it was a perfect speed and I loved Klavier's ability of taking no for an answer. He was very persistent. I loved Apollo's personality in this. It was in character with a dash of badassery mixed into the stew. I favored the fact that, the romance was apart of the story, not the backbone of it all. It felt like the seasoning of an entertaining book.
What I also adored, was the point of view. We, the viewers, always see the world from the hero's point of view... but. You made me feel frightened for Kristoph at the thought of being caught by the police. When he said, "I can kill one hundred people, but they can break my neck once!" I fell in love with this story and knew I couldn't put it off until I finished reading it all. There was a strong weight to those words, and it carriered out to the rest of the story. I, being the lover of mysteries, am glad you decided to end the story on that note. Is he dead? Is he alive? If he was apart of the sky, he could watch them... that brought tears to my eyes. Poetic to the end, eh bud? Then again, I'm a sucker for stories that make me cry. I'm a masochist that I guess. XD
Now... about your OC's. I will not lie. I hate them. Like the plague. But on the rare occasion, a good author can implement them into a story without them taking the spotlight from the main objective. You did this. Kazaf was brilliant. You gave him a reason, damn good one, to be chief of police. He was like a coffee blend of selfishly childish and a head of police force. The way his personality switched near the end. It gave me chills. He can be serious when need arises. I was actually upset he didn't decide to stay as chief. Nail was also pretty cool. Though I stick with Kazaf being my fave. We never learned who the other rock members were, and that gave perfect opportunity for an OC, and it stuck with the story well.
All in all. I commend you. Seriously. SOMEBODY GIVE THIS PERSON A MEDAL! I don't know what anyone else says, and hell, I don't care. This... this...THIS... was pure art.
Let me be honest... lately, I haven't read anything good. And puts me off into a sour mood. But I guess you can say, not only has this fic changed your life, but mine as well. I have been in a rut... for running from my own problems. There are certain people I regret meeting on fanfiction. They made go me back on my own oath. "Never give up fanfiction, unless I want to." I chickened out and ran from my own personal press who changed my words.
Huh. Funny how life works, eh? I let people run my life and I run away. I read this, and I want to regain my old throne.
Hahaha! I understand your probably eyeing this review funny, and I wont blame you for wondering why it got personal, but know you never have to respond to it, considering how old your story is now. Just know I am a fan, and you just inspired me out my own personal rut. As with that... I thank you humbly.
The Little Catgirl
| PSYchOtiC-teNdencieS chapter 36 . 4/5/2012
Okay. I waited to finish this entire thing before reviewing, which seriously took like a century. But I finally made it to the end of this marathon of a fanfic... and now where to begin...
I'll try to put it simply as possible.
You are extremely talented. The writing in general is very pleasing to read -the spelling and grammar issues are many, but they don't distract too horribly. The plot is intriguing and the action is gripping. In particular, your metaphors and similes are very original and poignant. Certain characterizations are very relatable, and perhaps most interesting of all is the fact that almost all of your characters are in some way ethically compromised. That is very bold and has the potential to break barriers.
Here are my problems:
No one is in-character. I don't mean with the game, ultimately I don't even think it matters that much in fanfiction - it's much more important to have the characters make sense -within- the fanfiction than that they correlate directly to the original fandom. That said, your characterizations are so unique and interesting, but never -consistent-. And although you boldly portray human weakness in your characters to lend them realism, at the end of the day they all still are unrealistic and inconsistent. That or every one of them is extremely unlikable, and I don't think all of them are supposed to be. Now unlikable traits are human, but I'm talking about core ideals that just aren't ignorable.
This whole deal with Apollo and Klavier defending Kristoph, the cold killer, is where the problems begin. Your backstory of Apollo does explain his intense feelings for Kristoph, and Klavier as his brother naturally feels for him as well. In domestic abuse situations, it's completely common to make excuses and fall into denial about a perpetrator. And I'm not saying perpetrators of violence aren't human, or irredeemable.
But I am saying this: when the level of violence is murder - when the perpetrator is mentally ill - when you yourself are not the only one getting hurt by letting the perpetrator roam free - you have to be pretty fucked up to protect even the one you love the most.
What I really don't get is why Apollo, the one who very well convicted the man, is so adamant that Kristoph simply made a mistake. A good man who made a mistake? This explains a murder? A crime committed in the passion of the moment, maybe. A hot-blooded, sudden lash out that resulted in a death, perhaps. But a calculated, careful, systematic killing? He knew exactly what he was doing. Maybe he was insane, but at the time of most of Kristoph's crimes he was thinking rationally. He was capable of telling right from wrong. To be so deluded by him is pretty amazing, especially from the one who helped expose him - even if he is his adoptive son. It would make a little more sense if he didn't believe it, or thought it was the insanity, or somehow not really Kristoph's fault. Even so, some people can be this deluded, I will concede it. These are people who need serious help.
But I wouldn't be so concerned by how unwarranted Apollo's trust is if it weren't for the characterization of Kristoph being so -nice-. Not especially manipulative, a little crazy but then that's a condition he can't control. He's just a nice guy. Who feels nothing for anyone outside his family. To the extent that he's perfectly willing to kill them if they're in his way. Someone with a disregard for human life to that extent has issues - by issues I mean you CANNOT TRUST THEM. They are manipulative, they are cruel, and even if they do genuinely care about some people, they can turn on anyone. Granted, some people with mental illness act very different when they're on medication. But like I said, he committed his crimes with a mostly cool head. At the very least, in the prison breakout scenes he didn't hesitate to murder - except Daryan, to whom he felt some attachment because he reminded him of his brother. If there were an actual buildup to his crimes in correlation to his running out of medication, showing that his violence only really surfaces when he loses touch with reality, this would help. But the prison breakout murders ruin that.
So Kristoph's psychology is very inconsistent. He's a cold-blooded killer, yet he's so sweet to his family, yet he's literally insane so he's unpredictable - these don't add up at all. It's simpler and honestly more realistic to pick out only a -few- traits and stick to those! Say he's a killer yet he's insane - so make the insanity the real cause of his violence, not calculation and personal gain! Say he's sweet to his family yet he kills - he may genuinely care about Apollo and Klavier, but that doesn't mean he isn't a danger to them or constantly manipulating them. He only demonstrates the kind of danger and manipulation I'm talking about once, when he batters Apollo. That was a very true moment. At first I didn't like that Apollo covered it up, but then I was able to more or less buy the idea. But -then-, when Apollo next encountered Kristoph he just acted like he did something mildly irritating.
Do you know what something like that can do to a person?
He might flinch the next time Kristoph touches him, he can't make himself stop for several days. He tries to make it okay but he can't remember to breathe sometimes when he sees that mark on the wall from the fight. He pretends he's in control and is confident Kristoph will never hurt him again, but his body won't listen to his mind's reasoning and feels fear around him anyway.
See what I'm saying? It's a prime opportunity to start turning the situation around and revealing Kristoph as the villain. You kind of start to do that, but he never really seems like a villain at all. If anything he's one of the heroes. This could be very interesting, but he has to be consistent. If he's likable - legitimately, well-intended, good-to-do likable, then external factors only should make him into the murderer. If he's a cold-blooded, he has to -stay- cold blooded! Not to say that he should be emotionless or incapable of caring, but at his core, he is unlikable. The likable part is a façade, whether he even really knows it himself or not. He may even mostly mean well sometimes, fine. But his true nature is capable of murder - not in self-defense, not to save someone he loves, not even to avenge someone he loves - for himself, and only himself. That cruelty and calculation has to show on some level at least.
Apollo really has problems if he thinks it's fine to cover for Kristoph even given how many people he's killed. Maybe that's not even debated... but then he needs to get over it - and not by grieving for his death, but by accepting that Kristoph was a murderer, and the right thing was to expose him. The right thing was to save lives. At no point was this a priority to him at all, barely even to anyone else. Even freaking Kazaf, who at least finally kind of acknowledged this point, first of all was considered to be overreacting and a jerk by everyone, second of all even he kept cutting Kristoph slack and making excuses for him.
By the way, any casualties that occur in the pursuit of a known and dangerous criminal are the criminal's responsibility. If a policeman shoots at a criminal and hits an innocent bystander, the criminal is charged with murder. It's a little extreme, depending on the circumstances, but then the circumstances wouldn't exist if it weren't for the criminal. Every death that occurred in the pursuit of Kristoph was his fault. There was so much racket about whether he did this murder or that assault and if he didn't then that it's the biggest deal in the world - no, it doesn't matter how it happened, if something happened to anyone trying to catch him, it's on him now. He committed murder. They have a right to confine him, and if he runs to chase him, and if they have an accident chasing him then he caused it by making them pursue him.
Klavier also has pretty incredible issues. It was interesting at first that he made the choice not to expose his brother. And everything seemed so normal, so he kept doing it. Then the battery was actually kind of interesting too - at first it really bothered me, but then I realized people do fall into this sort of denial. But then I remembered this was Klavier. Yes, he seems to have his head in the clouds half the time and believe only positive things. But he's a prosecutor. He's a servant of justice- and he has no backbone at all? It was interesting, and held together okay, but I still think even with his lack of courage, given the choice he would choose his lover over his crazy murdering brother. Once he realized what happened, he should have at -least- determined that Kristoph wasn't stable enough to leave alone with Apollo. He should be more than irritated with Kristoph - he should be paranoid that it will happen again! It may be his brother, but the man ripped apart his boyfriend - oh, and he was convicted for murder, there's that too.
I don't even know if I have time to go into Daryan and Machi... Daryan is very hot-blooded, but he's also cruel and calculated enough to cover up a murder (in the game) and let someone else take the blame - and he acted pretty cool afterwards. Maybe if his crime were even less calculated, I would get your characterization of him better. But the way he flips between doing a good thing and a bad thing... is just too much. If he's capable of making the bad choice, it doesn't matter that he's willing to consider the good one. He's capable of killing, but he might choose not to. Is that any reason whatsoever to trust him?
And his conversation with Nail is just awful. I'm sorry, everything else I really did like even if I didn't agree with the psychology, but the one conversation that really killed me was that one. Nail is a good OC. It would have been a good conversation - but it was with Daryan. A murderer. Why would Nail shoc