|Reviews for Areandalia|
| CoolDUDE chapter 1 . 10/5/2010
| lilo chapter 4 . 9/14/2010
Wow. you've got some imagination! You have me at the end of my seat! Keep it up, I love it!
| Delia Anole chapter 4 . 9/11/2010
Okay... Yay! An update! It makes me SO happy! Recommendation: If it takes awhile to update could you PLEASE have a review section... Like... Last time our hero did... dud dudh duh... Ya know? It's been so long, I forgot alot of what happened. Heh! ;D
Okay! On to the review!
I find it fascinating of the world you created. I have to wonder, did the evil stop her from writing? Did the evil put her to sleep? Was it the evil that prevented her from finishing the book? Exactly how could just writing in the history change anything? If that was possible, wouldn't the evil things be able to do the same thing for their own benefit?
At the same time, you may just mean that she NEEDS to fill in the story. Not write it in.
I like writing cliffies, but dread them in other stories. Especially on FF. WHy? I don't konw when I'll get the next flavor of the book! Oh, do make it soon! Perty please?
I have to say, that htis idea is amazing and exciting! With an idea like this, devotion, and author love... This could become really popular!
Great chapter! I think that she is going to run into someone who's not on her side! I think that before she meets a good person, she needs to meet a bad one. I did love the line about how her instructors would have been proud!
| TechnicolorVisions chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
Good, I agree with giving your readers something to relate to, and try not to use "she" too much, mix it up and use her name :)
| Delia Anole chapter 3 . 7/24/2010
Seh is rather feisty, huh?
This story sounds awesome! It is an amazing idea and you totally have installed a great sense of adventure in it. The excitement is just beginning though! I cannot wait for more!
I loved the mystery of this chapter it was amazing!
Keep this up!
| Delia Anole chapter 2 . 7/23/2010
"Fireai was going to run away"
I want you to know something. Mystery totally draws a person in. It drags them into the depths of your story, makes them forgive you for grammar errors and other errors, and leaves them starving for more. Try to sell your book. Blunt statements are good, after you have fiddled with the readers mind a bit. So instead of that... Try...
The idea had been across her mind for awhile. It didn't feel right, and she didn't want to. But she was worthless, not worth anyone's care or time. Fireai was going to run away.
Do you like the sound of that? You need to enjoy your own writing. It just entrances readers.
Also, I adore your names! I A-D-O-R-E them! Foreign names are brilliantly delicious!
The second paragraph of this chapter has too many she's. Have Fireai's mingle with the she's!
"Fireai started walking west, away from home and towards adventure."
I really like that. That was a nice hook, you drew me in!
Can definately tell she is the irresonsible type!
Nice ending! Too bad all shall go wrong! Mwahahaahaaaa! Eh-hem.
| Delia Anole chapter 1 . 7/23/2010
Poor Fireai. I can already judge her character. Shy, quiet, and thinks of herself as worthless. Very low self esteem. I assume she shall learnt to get past that? But of course!
First stories are rough! You can do it! I shall back you up from here on out!
| silverheart chapter 3 . 5/27/2010
please please pleeeeease keepp writting its realy interesting!
| Lelouch's right hand chapter 2 . 3/3/2010
Hey Viv, maybe if the names were a little more familiar then the story would be easier to read. It has a good set up and stuff, but you need to give your reader something to relate to. BTW: This is your Bff so it's not some random stalker, I haven't finished my chapter so it's not up.
| Lauren chapter 2 . 3/3/2010
Good! So now what happens? She seems to take things like falling into a creek with stride. Where will she go next? Who will she meet? Is there more to Squirt than meets the eye?
| LKB chapter 2 . 3/3/2010
I don't understand...did Fireai run away, then decide to come back home? Is she an orphan? Does she have family? It just seems a little mixed up to me.
How about instead of Squirt nodding, he simply cocks his head? That would make it more realistic, and give you a more subtle hint that he's not what a squirrel would usually be.
Keep going. I'd like to see how it turns out.